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Siblings at home birth?

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Talk to me about your experience having your older children present at your homebirth. 

 

DD is 2.5 now, will be 3 years, 3 months in October. She is very smart, extremely verbal, and always understands what is going on. She knows all about her birth story, and she says she wants to be there when this baby comes and "help push it out". 

 

However, the other day I stepped on a piece of glass and cut my foot (it was bleeding some, but not gushing or anything), and she was rather upset and kept talking about it, although it made her feel better to go get the band-aids and help me put them on. So I just don't know - will the reality of birthing be too much? 

 

The other issue is that we don't have a really great option for another adult to be present to take care of her, to bring her in and out of the room as she needs. All of our family is out of state, and the one good friend we have that we would ask to do that is having her own baby just a few weeks before. I have another friend who would probably be willing, but my daughter doesn't know her very well. 

 

Our other options are to hire a sibling doula (which is $500 I don't really want to pay), or to have her home daycare provider come pick her up, which I am sure she would do.

post #2 of 4
With my first home birth, my oldest was 3 months over 2.5 years. We had a friend come over during the birth and watched a ton of births on YouTube before had, talking about the process a lot. When it came time she re ally didn't want anything to do with it, asked me a couple questions, but spent the majority of her time playing in the bedroom with the person we had here for her.

My second home birth was 1 hr 55 min, even with my deep moaning, they slept through the whole thing (small house). I didn't even call anyone to come be with the kids.

This birth I'll have a 7.5 year old, 4.5 almost 5 year old, and 3 months shy of 2.5 year old. I have no idea what we will do for them. We will watch a ton of birth videos, talk about the process and HOW mommy reacted to her slower births (just under 8 hours) and her shorter births (just under 2 hours). I was able to answer questions during the longer birth. During the shorter birth, all my thoughts and concentration needed to be on relaxing and letting my body go.

If I have a fast birth, and they kids are away, we'll need some. If it is a longer birth and the kids are awake we'll be fine. Sorry I'm not much help!
post #3 of 4
I haven't experienced a toddler/preschooler at a birth yet.
When #2 was born in the hospital, #1 (almost 2 1/2 at the time) was put to bed while I was in labor, and my brother stayed at the house while she was asleep and DH, my mom and I went to the hospital. Grandparents brought her to the hospital in the morning after baby was born.
With #3, it was an out of hospital birth, and our kids (ages 7 and 5 then) had a front row seat to my hands and knees delivery. wink1.gif They loved it.

This time we will have 10, 8 and 3 year olds. I plan on doing of talking about it, watching videos, etc.
post #4 of 4

For my second birth we had my 2 1/2 year old visit my parents for a week or so.  She loved it there, so there were no separation issues.  We didn't really have anyone that we could have called on if we had needed to transfer to a hospital so it was just easier to have her visit my parents.

 

For my third and fourth their siblings were present.  My parents visited us for a week or so to be there for the birth in case we needed to transfer to the hospital.  The ages for #3 were 7 and 5.  The ages for #4 were 11, 8 and 3.  They were all fine with it.  

 

The cutest was my 5 year old son for #3 came around the tub and said "I'm the doctor."  

 

For this one my kids will be 15, 13, almost 8 and 4.  The only concern I have is with my 13 year old son.  I think he's very much past the 'watch mom give birth' stage.  I'm sure he'll find something else to do.  We live much closer to my parents now too so he can always walk down to their house now if he doesn't want to be around here.

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