before my child comes and tells me she saw something inappropriate - first i'd explore my own feelings. what exactly is inappropriate to me. is it age appropriate.
i have a 11 year old now and i find my definitions of inappropriate has changed so much. there is the usual sex, porn but then there is the 'other' so much more. certain concepts that dd doesnt need to know now - certain intensity of emotions.
at our house we have to be v. careful. dd is mature, started her periods earlier, is a good reader - so she knows a lot of stuff. and many moms might find her inappropriate. for instance apart from rap i dont really limit dd's music choices. so she listens and has listened to songs that others consider inappropriate for her. one of her favourite artists is pink. pink has quite a repertoire of songs.
dd and i have talked about what is inapprop. or not inapprop for her. she understands the nuances of what IS indeed inapp for her. she really, really wanted to read Girl with the Dragon tattoos. because we have communications open i have told her there are a few things the book introduces that she doesnt need to know quite yet. so while i wouldnt stop her i wish she wouldnt read it quite yet. she got it. and hasnt read it. but then its coz i let her read twilight. i told her i wasnt quite ready for her to read it, but if she REALLY wanted to she could. but not beyond in that series. thankfully she read two pages and didnt like how the book was written.
she is aware of all the hoopla about the twerking. even knows what is it. but its kinda silly so she doesnt follow it.
my point is - i've been open about sex. we've discussed it. i've even now brought up the emotional aspect of sex.
my definition of 'inappropriate' for dd relating to sex is probably way more relaxed that other parents. if she saw some porn i wouldnt be freaked out. she is aware porn exists. i dont know how to get to that stage when it happens. the 'pleasure of sex'. instead we've had the no one forces you. you do it when YOU want to - talk.
to me there are other concepts that freak me out way too much that i dont want dd to be aware of. she loves science fiction. i find more concepts inappropriate there than sex. certain concepts of war, the depth of hitler's torture... no i dont want her to know yet.
but if sex is not openly discussed in your house, if nakedness is viewed as something to be hidden - then yes i can see the shock level. but then any parent keeping a 10 year old 'clear' from anything related to sex and puberty - is really asking for trouble. perhaps the mom is not aware of the talk that goes on on the playground.