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Making parent friends when you are a working parent

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
I was inspired by a thread in the Stay at Home Parents forum. While I was on maternity leave I attended a baby and me group on a weekly basis and it was so great to be with other new parents and more experienced parents. It helped save my sanity. I saw that these newborn things would soon pass and that I could survive the tough times and learn things I could share with other parents. I also did regular play dates at the park with another group of parents. Now that I am back at work, I only have free time on the weekends, and we are so busy getting things done that we don't always have time to hang out with other people. We just want to hang out as a family at home. I am not very good at making friends. I am introverted. I can talk to new people but have a hard time turning acquaintances into friends. Our older friends do not have kids. How do you/did you make new parent friends while working?
post #2 of 9

I really resonate with your post and not sure I have anything helpful to offer!! I think these are excellent questions! 

 

I loved the playgroup I attended when my kids were smaller and I was working part time. The women in that play group are still my 'tribe' in my home town. But the same thing does not happen as kids get older. There is the PTO, or parents also involved as theatre parents. It gets much harder when your kids are older and you are working!!

post #3 of 9
I feel the dame way except I work mostly weekends and have weekdays off. I find this makes it difficult to get together with friends because no one wants to do anything after work/school.
post #4 of 9
*same
post #5 of 9
I didn't have many parent friends when my oldest was a baby, but since then have made a lot of friends with parents who had kids in the same gymnastics/dance class or sport. Younger DD has a tight circle of friends from her previous preschool, and I've gotten to know those parents, too.

I guess when my kids were really little, I gravitated towards co-workers who also had small kids.

All that being said, I think that once you have kids, the type of frienships you have change. I consider a lot of people to be friends, even though we only get together a few times a year. We are ok with this. Conversations about kids/parenting/child-rearing usually happen at work, or at the kids' activities. smile.gif
post #6 of 9

I have had trouble with this too.  My only close friends who are parents are in one of two categories: People I already knew (from college or work) who then became parents, and people who go to my church so that we see each other there every week.  One of the friends I knew pre-parenthood became a SAHM, but all the others work, and I think that gives us more in common.

 

I did manage to make friends through La Leche League (my chapter has an evening meeting) who would remember to invite me when they were getting together on weekends, but that dwindled away when my son was around 4 or 5.  I think it was not because I'd stopped going to LLL when he was 3 but because they started organizing their social lives via Facebook instead of email, so my boycott of Facebook left me out.  I still maintain that if somebody can't remember I'm her friend unless I'm her Facebook friend, that's not a true friend!

post #7 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
 

I really resonate with your post and not sure I have anything helpful to offer!! I think these are excellent questions!

:yeah
 

post #8 of 9
I've struggled with this as well. Mostly, also being an introvert, I am protective of the time we get to spend as a family. So I'm ok with not getting together with other moms. But my son is also older now. When he was young, we belonged to an awesome AP parents group. The often met when I was I school but I made a big push for once-a-month weekend meetings. Those were lifesavers! I was really lucky that the moms in that group were so open to meeting on the weekends when most were SAH. It helped that the meetings were always open to spouses. At other times I would just try to set up "play dates" with a few moms from that group individually. We weren't BFFs but it helped fill that need for mom interaction that is so darn strong when they're young.

Now (we've since moved) I belong to a mommy group that is quite large & includes mostly SAHMs but a good contingent of WOHMs as well. There are a fair number of WOHM events & evening events -- I try to make at least one event each month to stretch my social muscles but I also don't feel bad missing many events. My son is now 5 & he prefers activities with his cousins & friends from school. I met 1 really good friend from the current group & that's good enough for me.

So that's how I cope... I mostly don't but I try not to get down about it. OP, how much activity are you looking to engage in? What would fill your cup right now? If there are no groups in your are, would it be feasible to start an AP or AP working moms group on meetup?
post #9 of 9
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the replies! I did find that my local LLL meeting is on Saturdays. I thought it was during the week. It's only once a month so I will try to get there this month. I looked on meetup and didn't find anything relevant in my area. I have found some good friends through these forums who now are nannys for our son while we are working. I would like to find a couple with a baby about the same age that my wife and I can hang out with and do things occasionally. My wife was hoping that while I was on leave and attending playdates and baby and me group I would be able to make some new friends for us, but I wasn't able to do that yet. The hard part is taking it to the next level from acquaintance to hanging out/friendship. I would also like to just make some new mom friends I can hang out with by myself and just do fun stuff like shopping and getting our nails done. Most of the friends we have now don't have kids and don't do the kind of things you do with a best "girlfriend." I think part of it is I miss my best friend who lives in Oregon. She was here recently and we had so much fun getting our hair done and shopping. Ugh! I have thought about starting my own group. I have done some doula work and I have connections at a local birth organization that has a new mom's support group. It meets during the week. I would like to do something less formal that meets on the weekends, but I'm not sure how much interest there would be. I guess I just have to ask and find out.
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