This pregnancy feels so real to me, I just can't wait until I'm at that magic week 12 so it will be real to everyone else. I was surprised to find out that midwives don't even see you until you're around the 2nd trimester, and it's kind of a bummer because I had so many questions (which were answered over the phone, but still). It's also a bummer when I tell someone I'm pregnant and they say, "well you really shouldn't tell anyone because the chance of miscarriage is high in the first trimester." So, what? If I miscarry, is it just like this magical, life-changing, body-changing experience never happened? I don't get this, and it is frustrating. The internet says people like me only have a 6% chance of miscarriage, so why is everyone acting like it's a 50% chance? I feel like everything about me has changed, and I'm already making room in my life for this little person. I'm ever-conscious of my dietary choices, the amount of physical activity I engage in, the nausea, the hot flashes, breast pain, fatigue, headaches, bloating, frequent and less controllable urination. Why should this be such a secret? This is driving me nuts. I understand that if I do miscarry, it would be really awkward telling EVERYONE "yeah, we lost the baby," but it's still hard pretending like everything about me isn't changing.
I'm freaking out a little.