I'm sorry if this is the wrong forum or even site to post this. I am in need of some advice here.
I am posting this under a different account because frankly, I'm afraid of being criticized about this issue.
I'm due in early Sept. I am not planning to breastfeed. I just want to know if there's any formula on the market that is almost as good as breast milk.
I'm mainly not going to do it because my mother, my grandmother,my aunt and my cousins all had trouble doing it because the women in my family have small boobs. My mom tried with me but just went straight to bottle feeding when my siblings came along. Same things happened to my aunt. Both of her daughters went straight to bottle feeding because they knew it was probably not going to happen for them either.
I also just feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. While I have a strong maternal instinct, I also feel very strong about having some bodily autonomy after this pregnancy. I don't mind being pregnant. I have a midwife and am planning a homebirth so if all goes well the pregnancy/birth won't be an invasive one. But once I have the little one, I want to get back to my routine and my work as soon as I can. I am very independent and just can't see myself being the sole provider of food for the baby, even if I had faith in my ability to produce milk. I don't want to have to drop everything and whip out my boob whenever the baby gets hungry. I understand life will change drastically when the baby comes but I feel like this is one of those things that doesn't have to change since formula exists. At the end of the day, it does not feel like something I am looking forward to, only something that would make me anxious and possibly even resentful towards the baby. I was brought up on mostly formula and so was a lot of my family. None of us have had any health problems.
I should also add that I come from a family of naturalists. So although I did not get the "natural" nutrition as a baby, I wasn't vaccinated, I was raised on a very healthy diet, and my mother is a strict believer in no chemicals in the house. So I am hoping that if my baby is raised with all of that, then the formula thing will be a small or non-issue.
My problem is that I cannot talk to any of my lactivist friends about this without them criticizing me for not doing it. When I tell them I will likely not produce enough milk anyway, they push me to try, so I tell them I simply do not have the desire to do it for a variety of reasons. A lady I work with, who I made the mistake of telling all of this even accused me of being abusive for taking this stance. Everyone I know aside from family has this attitude that all formula is poison so of course I cannot get a straight answer from them about which ones are good. My mom is fairly certain that my siblings and I all had Enfamil but I am just wondering what else is out there now a days that is perhaps even better? Preferably something organic and not manufactured overseas? I'm trying so hard to make an informed decision about this but it's hard knowing I can't trust some of the formula companies 100% but also knowing that they're not all pure poison either.