I hate myself most of the time. I set off to be this great parent and constantly fail. My baby needs sleep but my 4yo makes this nearly impossible. Unless he is watching TV he is RELENTLESS in waking the baby, screaming, whining, and generally being super disruptive, such as throwing wooden balls at the door when I am trying to put him down. At night we all sleep in the family bed, but he purposely wakes the baby when I beg him not to. I am alone with them at night so it's not like I can tell him to go with his dad. Even when my DH is home, which is rare, 4yo DS will stick to me like glue at night.
I am very fortunate to have help from a nanny. But even when she's here my DS is stuck to me. It's like pulling teeth to get him to go with her. He can't understand why I would want him to go with her. He begs me, "Mommy why don't you want to be with me???" Sigh... As a result our nanny is more of a household helper for me than watching the kids. The baby is naturally with me, and my 4yo is on me like white on rice!!! I feel like a hostage. I know he can sense this. :-(
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my son fiercely. I wish I could do this better. I have health problems right now that include chronic pain, which makes my fuse shorter than I like.
This was long. Sorry! The main thing I need are ideas on how to handle naps. My 4yo is watching so much TV and I hate it. I would like to be able to put my baby down without having to hand 4yo the iPad.
Thanks for listening.