I went into this pregnancy with such vivid clarity, and a determination to have an excellent pregnancy and to be positive and proactive and healthy and happy the entire time. I knew I wanted a second baby and I knew that I wanted it as soon as possible (after 2 MC's in 2013). I had a clear vision of how the future would unfold, about where we would raise our family and my hobbies and goals, so clear it was like everything was set in stone already.
Now that I got my pregnant wish, I am just finding myself increasingly feeling disoriented and lost in life. :( I feel like I'm already mourning the additional free time I gained back as my son has grown older and am very worried about how I will handle another child. I don't have ANY help out here in Hawaii, it sucks, I am so lonely all the time, any friends I make move away, etc.
My energy levels never impressed much with the second trimester, I feel wiped out most of the time. I never feel happy anymore either, I always feel moody.
I'm just feeling so lonely out here on this island...we recently moved to live in the town of Hilo which is much more populated then where I was, but even then I am finding it hard to make friends. I feel like I have no help, aside from my wonderful husband who is worried about me. We're planning on moving back to the mainland in summer of 2015 but that seems so far away and I feel so alone and cut off from life.
I've lost all interest in all of the things I used to like to do because I just feel like I lack the will or ambition or something...or the energy. I find myself preferring to stay asleep but my toddler needs me so much I just feel like every day is getting so hard.
I just feel so lost and confused...wondering why I feel this way and not sure who to talk to about it so I figured I would post about it here in the hopes I'm not the only one or something? :-S Don't know if anyone can relate or not.