People of other faith offering prayers for you--offensive or not?

[karen ann]

Do you (general) feel offended when someone of a completely different belief system offers to pray for you, do spellwork for you, light a candle to their god/goddess/pantheon, etc.? Does it make a difference why they're offering the intercession (i.e. not so offensive if they're lighting a candle for your sick grandam but offensive it they're forming a prayer circle to get their deity to enter your life)? What do you do when it happens?

I'll answer in the near future but DS is starting another night terror and is working up to a scream

[lilyka]

Depends on who they are praying to. As a general rule I just blow it off no big. But at the same time if I feel it will bring the wrong sort of spiritual energy into my life I will pray against it actively seeeking protection from it.

[stafl]

Do you (general) feel offended when someone of a completely different belief system offers to pray for you, do spellwork for you, light a candle to their god/goddess/pantheon, etc.? not at all. I don't understand why that would bother anyone?

Does it make a difference why they're offering the intercession (i.e. not so offensive if they're lighting a candle for your sick grandam but offensive it they're forming a prayer circle to get their deity to enter your life)? no, they can pray for me all they want. If they want to waste their energies praying that I someday accept their beliefs, that's their problem not mine.

What do you do when it happens? I thank them.

[AnnaReilly]

Being a pantheist, I believe that prayers end up in the same place so it doesn't really matter to whom they are initially addressed. Therefore, I am not offended when people offer to pray for me in a loving manner.

What does irk me is when I have a difference of opinion with someone else (re: religion) and they say, "Well, I'll pray for you," in the most condescending tone they can muster. To say that they are praying for my "eyes to be opened" or to "see the light" implies that there is something *wrong* with my beliefs. That to me is just plain rude, but I just roll my eyes and don't get too worked up. After all, I believe that their prayers are heard by the Divine which must get a chuckle out of it.

[pugmadmama]

Originally Posted by AnnaReilly

...What does irk me is when I have a difference of opinion with someone else (re: religion) and they say, "Well, I'll pray for you," in the most condescending tone they can muster...

I have a friend, a true Southern Belle, shared with me a good response to that, but I've never had the nerve to use it. My friend claims the appropriate response to that kind of offer of prayer is:

"Thank you! You know I could use the prayers and I know you could use the practice."

:LOL

[merpk]

Echoing stafl's post.

Though I am annoyed when they offer to pray to their deity for me to accept their deity. Not offended, just annoyed. It's insulting, to say the least, and I don't appreciate insults. But if they want to waste their time on it, their problem, not mine.

[asherah]

If the offer is made in kindness and love.. like if something has gone wrong in my life and someone is just offering to help.. then no, I do not find it offensive at all. I am grateful for the love and concern in those cases, and grateful for the prayers. I believe in the power of prayer, no matter what diety the prayer is addressed to.

But when the "I'll pray for you" comes from someone who is objecting to MY spiritual path, or my politics.. or whatever.. that's not really an offer of prayer. It is almost a threat... like "you are going to go to HELL without my intercession.. and I will pray that you see the error of your ways."

That I find very offensive. It is not really prayer.. more like religious bullying.

So for me, it just depends on the context and the intent.

[Arduinna]

I feel the same as everyone else.

[EFmom]

But when the "I'll pray for you" comes from someone who is objecting to MY spiritual path, or my politics.. or whatever.. that's not really an offer of prayer. It is almost a threat

Yup. I have experienced this almost exclusively from evangelical "pro-lifers" when the topic turns to abortion, and they want to change my opinion. It is spiritual bullying, and I respond by writing a check to PP.

If it is a genuine offer to pray over some difficulty in my life, then I can appreciate it for the gesture of support that it is.

[Mothra]

Ditto what almost everyone else has said. I take great offense to someone offering, or telling me that they will, pray for me because I am pro-choice, vote Democrat, or some other nonsense. It is condescending and rude, and I usually tell people that how they waste their time is up to them.

However, when my grandmother died, people were coming out of the woodwork saying that they could pray for me and my grandma. The intentions were totally different then, and I couldn't see how it could hurt.

[eilonwy]

: I tend to snicker when people say they'll pray for me to open my heart to their whatever. :LOL Sometimes I even laugh out loud. Is that mean? :LOL :

[Meiri]

Is that mean?

Maybe, but so is their implying that your heart isn't open or that your beliefs are any less valid than theirs.

I wouldn't suggest that response to a friend, but if it's a stranger? maybe they'll get the point about how rude their behavior is? One can hope.

[tracymom]

Originally Posted by pugmadmama

I have a friend, a true Southern Belle, shared with me a good response to that, but I've never had the nerve to use it. My friend claims the appropriate response to that kind of offer of prayer is:

"Thank you! You know I could use the prayers and I know you could use the practice."

:LOL

T
Is anybody else here disconcerted that the smilies are different every time you try to use them?

[mollyeilis]

It actually does offend me, though I usually don't say anything. I can't think of a time when I DID say something, but I put the "usually" in there to be sure I'm not lying.

[karen ann]

I'm so sorry. Here I posted the question and forgot to come back and answer it myself.

I never thought I would find it offensive. I never did in the past. I'm a pretty tough person to offend. But recently on another board someone (whom I've never met IRL) told me she was "very turly sorry" that I'm an atheist and that she's pray for me. I don't think "offended" is quite the right qord for how I felt about it, but it came across as very condescending or belittling to my belief, as if she was saying I as a non-believer was an object of pity ( I mean my life *is* pretty opitiful right now but religion or lack thereof is the *least* of it ). Probably the lack of sleep from the night-terror-afflicted 3 year olf DS and the 2 weeks early PMT making me more sensitive.

Thanks for the replies. I've enjoyed the responses.
Karen Ann

[aguacates]

I usually really appreciate the loving thoughts that go into such statements, however my fil is a devout Catholic, which we are not. He takes no interest in his granddaughter, other than to send us letters telling us he is praying for her. If he is really that concerned about her, I would think he might want to be more of an active influence in her life :.

[stafl]

hmmmm....maybe living where I do gives me a different perspective. The vast majority of people in my community are fundamentalist southern baptist. The majority of those who aren't baptist, are still fundamentalist christian of one flavor or another.
I grew up hearing people say they would pray for my soul, pray that I find the Lord, etc... after a couple decades of hearing it, the words lose their meaning. I always try to tell myself that they mean well, that they think they are doing what's right because they just don't know any better. The ones who are trying to offend, well... I can't let them get to me. They are just like the big dumb bullies in school. If you let yourself be bothered/upset when they pick on you, they won't ever stop.

[cappuccinosmom]

Well, you can't exactly force someone *not* to pray, whether it's offensive or not.

If I knew someone was praying for me, and they were of a different faith, I wouldn't be bothered, unless I felt that they were involved in what I would consider evil. I still wouldn't be offended. I'd counter it with prayer myself.

Now, if someone came up uninvited and started laying hands on me or bringing things from thier faith into my home uninvited, *then* I'd be upset.

[AdinaL]

As I am sure everyone knows, I am trying to get pregnant with my first...for two years now. People offer to pray for me fairly often. At first, it sort of made me uncomfortable. Because I am not a Christian, it made me squirm a little. But, whether it be intentions, or thought, or vibes, or prayers, the intent behind it is the same. They are asking whichever powers they believe in to help me out. And that can be nothing but good.

People have offered to pray for me to save my soul as well...or to convert me. I truly believe that no one knows how god (or goddess, divine force or whatever) comes to each individual. So while someone may pray for me to come to Jesus, the divine may manifest it self to me in the form of some thing other than Jesus. Which means their prayer worked, just not wuite the way they thought it would. What ever the divine actually is, it knows us all, and it also knows what will make us believe, and what will bring us to whichever faith we have.

So does it offend me? Not at all. More spirituality, more faith, more trust in the divine, well, I don't see how it can ever be a bad thing.

[Lucky Charm]

I feel the same as everyone else.