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People of other faith offering prayers for you--offensive or not? - Page 2  

post #21 of 35
5/13/04 at 2:23pm
Some time I ask my *other* religion friends, muslim, to pray for me. I know their prayers are sincere and I am honored that we are friends.
post #22 of 35
5/14/04 at 11:50pm
If someone tells me they are praying for me in regards to my spirituality you bet I'm offended. To me they are not respecting my choice and in their own way trying to shove their religion at me. If they want to pray for me, don't tell me or they're hear exactly what my opinion on it is.

As a Pagan I would never cast spells, call on the gods/goddesses, whatever. It is not my place to do it without their asking first. I feel it is me trying to push my beliefs on them and I am not a person who would do that. They are free to choose whatever they want and I will respect their decision even if I can't understand it.lol If they wanted to find my spirituality then that is their choice to make & if they need help I am there for it.
post #23 of 35
5/24/04 at 8:00am
I agree that it depends on the intent: whether they are genuinely concerned for your well-being, or are being condescending or rude. Here's an excerpt from a letter I sent to my MIL (salv'n army officer):

"When we spoke last, you said that you would pray for me. When I first started this letter, I had planned on asking you not to pray for me, but I have since altered this stance. What bugged me most was that you seemed to presume I was ok with you praying for me, yet I know you would be quite unsettled if I told you I was working a spell on your behalf to, say, heal a cold. However, I am trying to become a more tolerant and accepting person, so I will not ask you to not pray for me. When you do pray, please keep the following in mind (and this goes for the present and future children in my care):
Pray not that I find the "true faith" for I believe there is no such thing. Pray not that I find Jesus, for I can find no solace in His church. Pray not that I "come back" to God, for I have, and in the process have also found the Goddess. Pray for my well-being. Pray that God takes care of me, for my Gods do that. Whatever you pray, remember to add "if it be Your will", because that puts it in the hands of the One we can both trust. I certainly feel that is so. And contemplate this: "All Gods are One God". You and I aren't so different after all. Perhaps we worship the same being, but see simply a different part or aspect of them. "


In paganism, it is a big no-no to interfere with another person's free will, and I uphold that as best I can.
post #24 of 35
5/29/04 at 5:48pm
I am not offended.

I need all of the help I can get from G-d, and if someone's prayer can nudge HIM/HER to help me, I'll take it.
post #25 of 35
6/9/04 at 11:38am
I don't know if it offends me per se, but it does make me wince a little. I am an atheist and I feel like I'm "agreeing " with the pray-er by not saying anything. Then again, after a beat or two I just mentally say "whatever."
post #26 of 35
6/9/04 at 2:03pm
It really depends. Certain friends/family offer to pray for us. It strikes me as an "I'll cover yous a$$ in the prayer department" or a "Hope this will keep you out of he!!" kind of gesture, not an offer made out of true care and concern. (You'd probably have to know them to understand) Usually I ask them to pray for the homeless, hungry, ill, people in war torn countries instead. These people have REAL problems, not just worries about the electricity getting cut off.

OTOH When people make such an offer out of GENUINE kindness I am always grateful
post #27 of 35
7/7/04 at 6:15pm
I had an operation a few months ago and I remember many members of my husband's family(who are methodist and I am Jewish) told me they would pray for me. For some reason when they told me this it made me feel really warm inside. Not because I thought their prayers would do anything for me, but it made me feel special that they would be thinking of me.
post #28 of 35
7/9/04 at 6:17pm
Like many others have said, I believe all prayers, good thoughts, etc. are going to the same place and just adding positive energy to the world, so I have absolutely no problem with people sending out prayers for me.

However, this is completely different than someone saying they're going to pray for my salvation, etc. That's sending negative thoughts my way, and I really don't need those! I would never impose my will on others, so wouldn't want others to try to impose theirs on me. That's just a general respect for the individual I think we all deserve.
post #29 of 35
7/12/04 at 11:05pm
As a minister and former chaplain who has been asked to pray for people (when I'm not always necessarily comfortable doing so), I make a big distinction between "centering" prayer and "intercessionary" prayer. I define "centering" prayer as that which focuses intention and thoughts --either directed at a deity or not. Basically, the idea is that they are using their energy to effect the prayer. This is fine with me. "Intercessionary" prayer is asking a deity to intercede on my behalf, frequently with the idea that the person doing so "gets to" because they are a true believer (whereas an agnostic doing the same thing wouldn't acheive the same effect). I don't want people doing this for me, although it's not always easy to say so! I have found that this distinction is hard for a lot of people who are only familiar with intercessionary prayer to understand, since so many religions teach that only God has power and people are powerless. When I pray for people it is always centering prayer, sometimes to the Goddess and sometimes in a passive voice: "May Jane find strength to deal with her illness and comfort in the people around her, as she is surrounded with love" kind of thing.
Sorry if that was long! I'm hard to shut up once I get talking shop.
post #30 of 35
7/12/04 at 11:37pm
What a great explanation Elisabeth!
post #31 of 35
7/13/04 at 2:29pm
I have thought more about why folks offering prayers for makes me wince...This is the best I could come up with...

As an atheist I feel prayers are worthless. Sorry.that is blunt but not meant to be cruel. Someone who offers to pray for me is not doing me any favors, but rather doing something that makes THEM feel better. Basically, a selfish act. Instead of praying, DO something (run errands, make a casserole, write a note, donate to charity etc.) or SAY something ( You have my sympathy..I'm so sorry...I wish I could help)
post #32 of 35
7/13/04 at 2:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nankay
As an atheist I feel prayers are worthless. Sorry.that is blunt but not meant to be cruel. Someone who offers to pray for me is not doing me any favors, but rather doing something that makes THEM feel better. Basically, a selfish act. Instead of praying, DO something (run errands, make a casserole, write a note, donate to charity etc.) or SAY something ( You have my sympathy..I'm so sorry...I wish I could help)
From that person's perspective, praying for you is saying something. If someone says hello in German, but you don't speak the language, is it any less of a greeting?

I'd say most people who pray for others certainly aren't doing it to be selfish. If they truly believe it works, then the act of praying for something/someone that doesn't directly affect them is exactly the opposite. Or perhaps it's selfish in the sense that it allows them to feel they're taking action, particularly when soemthing is so "big" it's overwhelming. So actually, it could be said that you refusing them that option because you're an athiest is selfish of you. (I'm not trying to insult you, just making a point. ) So again it comes down to intent, on both sides.

Even if I don't believe in what/who a person is praying to, I can always appreciate that they care enough to make the effort.
post #33 of 35
7/13/04 at 2:49pm
Oh no..I don't refuse them.I just wince inwardly and think to myself, "Whatever makes you feel better." See..whatever makes YOU feel better. Want to make ME feel better???? DO something.

As for your German greeting..I don't see the connection. He/she is greeting me and I recognize that. The smile is directed at me. He is not smiling at the invisible pink unicorn only he sees and then expecting me to feel all warm and fuzzy.
post #34 of 35
7/13/04 at 3:11pm
I see what you're saying. (And I'm laughing at the pink unicorn!)

I really don't think anyone has a right to expect you to feel "warm and fuzzy" about the content of their prayer, or who they're praying to. But if a person says to you that they're sending prayers your way, do you not think that it's an expression of their concern for you?

Ok, forget the German greeting. Let's try another one... It's your birthday and your Grandma gives you a ceramic teapot that she bought at a local department store. You have no use for a decorative teapot, and can't even imagine why your Grandma would think that's a good thing to own. Do you still appreciate the gift?
post #35 of 35
7/13/04 at 4:11pm
Yes, I do appreciate the thought..The practical side of me sighs and wishes for something more useable..be it teapots or actions.
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Mothering › Forums › Natural Family Living › Spirituality › Religious Studies › People of other faith offering prayers for you--offensive or not?