need motivation

[mamaschiff]

Hello - I have had 2 babies. 1st - with OB (a bad one at that) in a bad hospital, I knew nothing, had an epidural that didn't work right and I almost lost consciousness (because they gave it to me at 9 1/2 cm - crazy people!), horrible tearing and recovery, shipped baby off to nursery because I thought I was supposed to.

2nd - midwife attended at wonderful hospital, totally drug free, baby never left room, easy recovery, literally walked out of the hospital.

My problem - Last time I was motivated to go natural because of my bad experience with an epidural. Now I know the reality of a natural birth. It is not the screaming frenzy like in the movies but it sure wasn't fun! (For me anyway) I am trying to find that motivation again to get geared up for a drug free birth. So where do you find your motivation, especially those of you who have already gone drug free. Do you just accept that certain aspects are just going to be hard and focus on the positives?

Last question - what is hypnobirthing? I thought that maybe if I learned something new to use as a brithing tool that may help.

Thanks
Kelly

[watermamma]

My first birth was in hospital w/an epidural as well. It was an "ok" experience, but in no way what I had wanted. My second birth at a freestanding birth center, with a CPM. All natural, no option at all for meds of any kind.

I will be honest. During labor, I wished in my head for a c-section, anything to make it stop. But I never said my code word for transport, I may have thought it over and over, but I never got to that point. I did beg to make it stop, but again, transition sucks!!!!!! and thankfully, in my case, did not last long. And in the week following her birth, I was intensly proud of myself and very startled (traumatized in a way?) by the power and pain of her birth. Screaming "I did it" after her birth was wonderful and I think of her birth as a fantastic birth, even though it was the most painful thing I have ever experienced.

I get my motivation by fear of losing control in the hospital. I would bet big money that if I were to birth in the hospital, I would seek an epidural, just to be able to deal with the hospital bull! I can't really seem to describe what I felt in the hospital with my first, maybe scared, angry, helpless. I don't want to feel those things again. I also remind myself that it really is "best" for baby and mom to birth naturally. All the interventions simply lead to more, and sometimes a surgical birth/delivery. I know I don't want that if I can avoid it.

And most of all, I felt loved and powerfull in labor with Audrey and after. And those endorphins are wonderful things!

About hynobirth, I have heard good things about it, but havnt looked at it myself. I did really like "Birthing From Within", and Ina May, really helped me prepare.

Good luck, sorry if my rambling doesn't make much sense, one of those days!