anyone else w/a really sensitive child?

[~*max*~]

Hi mamas. I am wondering if anyone else has areally sensitive, possibly anxious, child? My 4 year old ds has always been "high needs"/"spirited". As a baby he nursed all the time, always needed to be held, lost it if I left the room. Then when he became mobile he was incredibly active, running, climbing, destroying, but still very attached to me. Now that he is older and understands more, he seems to have become overly sensitive & sometimes anxious. Some examples - he is very in tune w/people's feelings & moods, if someone is upset (like another child at playgroup) he needs to know why & that they are ok. He doesn't watch any tv, other than some PBS, but one time he caught a glimpse of my teenager's spiderman video and was frightened for weeks that spiderman was going to come in our house. I am a very calm person, but if I have any stress (which I try to keep from him), he picks right up on it & becomes anxious. I swear sometimes he seems telepathic in his abilities! He also becomes anxious when we are getting ready to go somewhere, following me around the house, asking the same questions over & over. He goes to preschool 2 mornings a week, loves it, and does wonderfully. He also has a mild-moderate speech/communication delay, which has significantly improved over the last year, but which also may factor in.

So, anyone else in this boat? What are some of your coping strategies, for you & your child? Maybe we could form a support thread.

[fishy]

i am SO in need of a support thread here. my son is quite the same, but a little younger. he is almost 3.5 and i am not handling it at all well lately. i think that i end up getting caught up in my own stress (newly singe mom, newly WOHM full time and child newly in preschool) and totally tune his issues out. i have been feeling like such a bad mom. my little guy is going thru a lot (preschool, visitation with his dad, not being with mom all day) and add his low frustration level and his high stress level to that plus a mom who hasnt been understanding at all. poor little guy. i think i am goign to cry myself to sleep tonight.

[stafl]

My oldest daughter is very intense and sensitive, like you described. The only difference is that she was/is verbally precocious.
I just try to be thoughtful of her sensitivity. We can't do group activities if there will be more than five or six other kids around, unless she already knows the other kids. Crowds at the Zoo or wherever are a melt-down waiting to happen. I don't force her into situations that I know she will be uncomfortable in. I always ask her if she wants to go to playgroup or our homeschool group meetings days ahead of time, and respect when she doesn't want to go.
I still haven't figured out how to suprise her - she always knows what her gifts are before she ever opens the packages! for example - when I came home from picking up a few small birthday gifts, she asked me "when can I look at my new pony book?" - it was still in the trunk of the car and she wasn't with me when I bought it!

[QueeTheBean]

My 5.5 year old DS is very sensitive/high-strung. I knew it from the second I held him after he was born. I'm the same way myself, so at least I understand him. I think this is where AP philosophy really makes sense to me. I know he is sensitive, so I try, when possible, to prepare him for what is coming. "We are going to the birthday party. There are going to be lots of kids there. DO you think they'll sing Happy Birthday?"

I keep him close to me til he warmed up (which is sometimes never). I warn him when loud sounds are coming (like the blender). Just trying to be aware & make him as ready as he can be. I know I can't alert him to everything, but I hope that by making him feel safe when I can, that he will feel less sensitive when I am not with him or not able to prepare him for something (balloon popping, car backfiring). I don't know if one is ever "cured" of being sensitive--I know I still deal with it and I am 35! Just keep on being aware & supporting these sensitive kiddies!

Now, my DS#2 is totally the opposite . . . 180 degrees.

Life is fun!

[~*max*~]

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's always good to know you are not alone in these parenting challenges. From reading the posts, I am seeing that there are a lot of different kinds of "sensitive" kids, which makes perfect sense. My ds's sensitivity centers around emotions, his and others. He is so in tune, it is scary sometimes. Just like the previous poster stated about her dd always knowing what gifts she is being given. My ds is also very sensitive about his body. If he gets a hang nail, literally, it is a tragedy. But on the other hand, he is energetic, boisterous, loves to play w/other children & play rough. So, go figure. Also as others have said, he may get it from me. I too am very in tune w/others' emotions, sometimes even feeling physic I am so on target.

And Fishy, my heart goes out to you. s It sounds like you are going through an incredibly hard time, and to have a sensitive kid on top of that... Let us know if there is anything we can do to be helpful.

[QueeTheBean]

Another thing, too, Max & other mamas: I know this can be hard sometimes, but try to see the postive in the sensitivity issues. Being in tune with peopl's emotions, etc. at this age may be a challenge & too hard fot hte little guys to process, but think when they are older . . . future psychiatrists???