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dd won't wipe herself!

post #1 of 8
5/28/02 at 12:06pm
Thread Starter 
It was hard to search for a previous thread on this topic. I didn't find anything, so...

My dd is 5 1/2 and is the quiet, shy, thinking type (usually!) She has been using the toilet since she was a little over 3 yrs. old. The problem is that I've caught her peeing and just pulling up her panties without wiping. What's worse is she does the same thing frequently when she poops! At least after she's walked around like that for a while and found it uncomfortable, she'll say that she needs new panties. She's been going to kindergarten and luckily she seems to have most of her bowel movements at home. I don't know how to convince her that she needs to wipe!

And I never thought it would be so hard to find the words to describe to her how to do it! She has always come into the bathroom with me so she's seen me wipe, but...to put it into words? I don't want to get clinical and I don't want to be vulgar!

Has anyone had a similar experience?
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post #2 of 8
5/28/02 at 12:09pm
My 6 year old boy has a hard time as well (he has problems with fine motor) - we buy those flushable wipes for him to use because they make the job easier for him. He still asks for help,a nd we still give it to him. I think that rather embarass him over not being able to do it alone, I would rather he actually get clean. He homeschool, so that's not an issue for us. Wish I could be more help, but try the wipes.
post #3 of 8
5/28/02 at 3:47pm
My 6 yr old still wants me to wipe her. I do, since this is what she is comfortable with, but I think she could wipe herself if she wanted. I think, but don't really know, that she's worried she's going to get poop on her hands.

Could you do it for her to show her rather than explaining it to her?

BTW, there was a long thread about this somewhere. Maybe in gentle discipline. I think it was called "should they wipe their own bums" or something like that.

Good luck.

Alison
post #4 of 8
5/29/02 at 12:59am
OMGosh, I am soooo glad to have found this thread.

My ds, 7 1/2, still asks me to "check" him when he poops. This poor boy has had an aversion to poop since I can remember. The thought of having even a speck of poo there and not being TOTALLY clean freaks him out.

I have shown him how to wipe but he just doesn't get it clean. I will just have to keep helping him until he gets it. He is getting better and that really makes me happy.

Dh and I don't make a big deal out of this. I just figure that I won't be wiping in when he is in college.

post #5 of 8
5/29/02 at 12:04pm
Thread Starter 
Khrisday, I've seen those wipes in the store and thought about using them. A problem I see is dd #2! She's potty training now and is my mischievious one. If I get the wipes for my oldest, my 3yr old will either flush them all, one by one, unused down the toilet or use them to "clean" the bathroom or some such thing. We're on a pretty limited budget, so the blatant waste would be a problem.

And, mom at home, don't get me wrong...I wiped her myself for quite a while. She just doesn't get it. She's already had two bladder infections because she insists on wiping from back to front. I tell her not to do that...and I don't wipe that way. Just this morning, I heard her go into the bathroom and when she came out, I went in and looked in the toilet...no paper...and none in the garbage can. :

I looked for the thread mentioned in gentle discipline but I'll look again. I applaud you moms with patience who are still wiping your older ones, but I am 2 months away from having to deal with a newborn, a 22 month old, a devil-ish 3 year old, and a 5 1/2 year old. I NEED her to start doing a FEW things for herself...not everything...but wiping, I don't feel, is too much to expect.

I know it will "click" sooner or later, just like everything else. I just hope it's sooner, rather than later!

Thanks!
post #6 of 8
5/29/02 at 12:47pm
Thread Starter 
Alright, I found the thread you mentioned, mom at home. I stand humbly corrected...5 1/2, maybe, is too young to wipe efficiently. Time to step back, take a deep breath, and realize that my life is going to revolve around the toilet just a little bit longer than I anticipated.

And here I thought I knew everything...nothing like children to show you that you don't!!
post #7 of 8
5/30/02 at 3:39am
Hey- what about installing a bidet???:
post #8 of 8
5/30/02 at 4:43am
A bidet! Great idea!!!

I understand your frustration, Flickervillemom. And I only have 2 kids. Ironically, my 4 yr old wipes herself much of the time. I told my older one just a short while ago that she needed to learn to do this. She said she never learned so she can't. I told her she could practice right then while I was there. She grudgingly did one wipe.

Who knows why there are certain kids who need so much done for them. She is so independent in so many ways. Hmmm.

Well, good luck to you.

Alison
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