May mamas, it's MAY!!!! - Page 4

[Mama Faery]

Darn it. I had typed a really long involved update but it got lost at my friend's house when I was trying to post it.
Okay, so this morning DH and I went to see my OB, and he asked her all the questions that had been boiling in his brains :LOL and I think he got satisfactory answers, and then she had me lie back for an internal exam (the first in a while, and I was kind of interested to see how things were going).
The thing is, when she did it, it was exceedingly uncomfortable, I wouldn't say it was PAIN, but it was not cool. I said "OW!" and she apologized and told me I was 1cm dilated. Which is great, not like it means anything really, but hey, any progress is yay in my book. :P
Anyway, when she was measuring my belly, I told her "well, if you ever want to strip my membranes, don't bother, I don't think I could handle it!", thinking of the exam I just had.
She gave me this strange look and said, "really? well, that's what I just did!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, um, usually, I trust my OB, she's been amazing through my whole pregnancy and has respected my requests and feelings and my DH's too. So it kind of surprised me that this happened and she didn't say anything.
I'm 38w2d along, and yes, a BIG part of me wants to birth this baby and DH and I are getting really excited! But I really didn't think the stripping was necessary, even if it wasn't as painful or traumatic as I thought it would be...
I have been spotting blood off and on all day, and been kinda crampy and the belly issues are back.
Who knows, maybe the baby will be born this weekend! :LOL I still think that even though this was done, my boy's gonna be like his mum, and do things exactly when HE wants to. :LOL Maybe that's why I'm not really that upset about today's appointment, and from now on anytime a gloved hand comes my way I'm gonna say "now, you're just checking dilation, RIGHT?!?!?" And there will be NO little plastic crochet hooks coming my way either, dammit. NO MORE INTERVENTIONS!! (as long as I don't need 'em!)
Heh.
So, that's what's up with me. I've been having some lower back stuff since I drove a couple of hours today, and now I'm doing some laundry and just checking email and such.
I have some nesting going on, but a lot of it's done. So now what? We wait...
Hope you all have a great weekend, ladies.

-Renae

[TurboClaudia]

Renae:

Can I be upset at your OB for you instead? WHAT?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????? She stripped your membranes without even asking for your permission???????????!!!!!!!!!?????????????? Maybe you should put a temporary tattoo on your thigh that says "keep your fingers out of my vagina" or something...

sorry... just had to vent... feeling like my usual emotional cancerian self... grrrrrrrr...

--claudia

[Mama Faery]

Yeah, the more I think about it the more indignant I get.

I expected the exam...I did NOT expect the stripping.
I read on childbirth.org that it can happen "without the mother's knowledge or consent" ???
That seems wrong to me!
I definitely will be talking to her before she comes near me again, but a teeny part of me keeps thinking "well, I hope it at least DID something...."
I feel kinda guilty about that...
Hmph.

-Renae

[PattyCakes]

Holy crap Renae! I'll be totally pissed for you! That's just nasty - (and I'll be a cranky cancerian right along with TC).

It'd be a LONG time before I'd trust anyone to put their hands in me again.

[Mama Faery]

It's weird. I feel like I should be MORE upset...and it's true, anytime someone comes near me I'm gonna be like "WAIT! What are you doing, why are you doing it, what purpose does it serve?!?!"
But the messed-up thing is, I didn't EXPECT to have to be that way with my OB, and I think that a part of me is trying to preserve this birthing experience so I don't get all worked up and have WORSE things happen during my actual labor, you know?
I'm a REALLY strong-willed person though, and I won't suffer this shit again (excuse my language). Like when she said that she MAY ask me to stop pushing so she can suction the baby BEFORE he's even out of me (she said she would only do it if meconium was present, but hey, how can I be sure?) all I could think was "sure lady, I just hope you're ready to catch when he torpedoes on by!" :LOL
Anyway, thank you all for the concern, but I really am trying to stay positive despite the unfortunateness of what happened today.
I'm determined to have the birthing I dreamed of and I am still really excited about the soon-to-be birth of my son!

-Renae

[Sarah'sMama]

Hey Gals, can't wait to catch up on y'all.

Just wanted to check in with you and tell you Katelyn Marie arrived on Wed. May 5 at 12:31 am! My little Cinco De Mayo Baby. She weighed 8lbs 12 oz and is 21.75 inches long! I was expecting a smaller baby since my first dd was 6lbs 15 oz! I'll try to post the birth story in the next few days. Just got home from the hospital today, and my 2 y/o is currently testing her limits and is quite a handful right now, so she needs my full attention. Just wanted to give you a quick update. I feel so 'ed that some of you noticed I was gone!

[Mama Faery]

How wonderful! Congratulations and welcome Katelyn!
I love how you spell her name.

[mittendrin]

welcome to the world, katelyn!
we thought something was up when you didn't post for a while, sherri congratulations!!!
hope you have somebody to help with dd...keep us posted on how baby and you are doing.

awwwww, i want mine too!!! got another 2 weeks til my edd, but of course i keep telling myself i'll go early.
so who's next on the list?

[mittendrin]

btw renae, i know you don't need more people telling how stupid it was of you ob to do this to you. i'd wanna kinda block it out. maybe you should make sure you tell her about the way you feel, make her think about it for the next time...kinda gives you peace of mind later, knowing you said SOMETHING!
but hey, you'll have a beautiful birth and baby would've come sooner or later, right?

[Mama Faery]

I spent most of last night feeling really messed up over what happened--more so because of the guilt I felt for not being REALLY ANGRY at first. I ended up crying in my husband's arms before bed, which helped a bit...yay hormone release. :
And then I woke up this morning upset because NOTHING'S changed! Haha--I feel the same physically as I did all week, so you know, it's like I said--he's coming when he WANTS to.
Thank you all so much for your support--after lying in bed this morning unable to sleep because I was thinking so hard and I have determined that I won't be letting ANYONE in there until I'm in full-on labor and they HAVE to check dilation, and if they don't HAVE to, they won't. I'm staying fully dressed at all the rest of my appointments and next week when I see my OB I will tell her how I feel, that I really didn't think the stripping was necessary and I would rather they just left my body to do what it needs to do on it's own.
*sigh*
Anyway, I'm tired and I NEED to go to yoga this morning. Our (BRAND-NEW, purchased in NOVEMBER!) fridge isn't working (and it's full of food!!! ) and DH is dealing with it because it's just one more thing I don't feel like dealing with. I'm not in the best of moods right now.
Take care, you guys.

-Renae

[emmalola]

that sucks so bad! I think you've got a good plan to confront the OB and let her know that she was out of line. It may make things tense for the rest of that appointment, but if she is at all professional she should use that knowledge to improve her practice and the way she works with you.



Happy new cinco de mayo baby! Congratulations. I can't wait to read the birth story.

My lil lentil isn't due until May 25th, but I've already had some mucus and false labor, so I'm hoping for an early baby. fingers crossed.

[mittendrin]

trying to pack my hospital bag. i'm kinda brainless today though...what do you guys pack?

[KKmama]

Wow, I take a day off, and a lot has happened.

Welcome Katelyn! I was so hoping you were off having a baby, Sherri! Now the rest of us who are "fully cooked" need to have ours!

Renae, I'm sorry about the membrane stripping, the annoyance, the confusion, etc. It's really good that you were able to have a release and cry about it. Say whatever you need to say to your ob. I think it's totally reasonable to let them know that they're not to do things without permission!

Annika, our "hospital bag" is currently several bags of stuff in the spare room (with the suitcase and a list of last minute stuff sitting beside)... what gets thrown in depends on how things happen (eg, I don't want "labor aid" stuff packed away if things are slow and we're at home for several hours, but if we need to go quickly, I wanted it all collected). The labor aid bag has stuff like the non-perishable snacks, a massage tool and some oil, flax seed pillows (to heat or chill), my Birth Partner book, photocopies of labor acupressure techniques, dh's swimsuit ('cause I know he'll forget it--for the tub/shower at hospital, if nec.) etc. The bag with clothes for me and the baby has a couple of outfits each (the weather has been so screwy, but I think it's warming up and that I need to look at what I have in there now). There's a toiletry bag with the basics (plus my special needs--Tucks, my favorite pads, some simethicone gel tabs, etc). My favorite CDs are all sorted out. Stuff on the list includes our toothbrushes, the camera, the cell phone, power cords, etc.

Yesterday was my due date. Obviously, I didn't have a baby. I'm finally starting to feel better (from the cold), but I'm starting to feel like the clock is ticking, which is ridiculous. I talked to dh this morning, and I told him (as nicely as I could) that it's not my job to make everyone feel better because I haven't had the baby yet (I think he's a little down about it, and even my doula seems a little down about it). I spent yesterday with my mom, and she was *SO* great. She's very good at just letting me "be", so she listened very nicely while I complained and generally was just very supportive and said a lot of "the right things." (She also told me a couple of funny things about when she had me and my brother which I didn't know earlier, like having a lot of black pepper on food, going into a sneezing fit, and having her water break unexpectedly....)

"Signs of labor" still seem to be less than before, though more than when I was at my sickest. Dh says it feels like I've effaced more. I've felt a lot of downward pressure (and some weird baby mvmt on the right side). I have another acupuncture appt this afternoon, and I'm hoping it will help. I had one on Wed., too, when I was at my very sickest, and it's the only time I've ever had acupuncture with *no* accompanying contractions.

Have a great weekend, everyone. What are y'all doing for Mother's Day?

[Defenestrator]

Congratulations Sherri!

KKMama, I am glad that you are recovering from your cold. I hope the acupuncturist is able to rile things up for you.

I am still here, feeling like it could be a million years until I have my baby. He/she has been settling into my pelvis, making my belly appear to shrink. I feel like I have regressed several weeks! It is wierd!

Sending dh out for belly cast stuff today. I didn't do one last time but I think it might be fun. I am making Thai curry and getting plastered this evening.

Good luck everybody.

Stacia

[PattyCakes]

Welcome Katelyn and congratulations Sherri and Family!!! Whohoo!

Ranae - dont' feel guilty. Right now that's a waste of your energy. I think you are right to say something to your OB but to try and stay positive. Hugs Mama.

Hope you're all having a good weekend. Labour vibes going out to anyone who is in labour (or wants to be).

[mcsarahb]

Hi all-

Congratulations Sherri and welcome Katelyn! Happy Cinco de Mayo!!! Glad to hear everything is going well for you both.

Renae, I second everyone else's indignation over the OB, but agree with PattyCakes - stay positive and just tell her how you feel. Good luck!

KKmama- happy due date yesterday! I'm rooting for you to go into labor soon - and I'm glad that you are feeling better.

So, no one responded to my addendum to my birth story - I hope you guys aren't mad at me. I honestly forgot it...only after re-reading the birth stroy did I realize I left it out. I just wanted you all to know exactly what happened.

I am feeling okay, still very sore (stitches hurt!) and mainly in bed all day. Lily is eating like a champ and was one oz away from her birth weight yesterday! We had her one-week dr.'s appointment, which went very well. The dr. seems pretty good and was very respectful of my homebirth, midwives' records, and our questions.

Take care mamas, and come on out, due babies!

Sarah

[fiddlefern]

sarah-

I'm sorry you felt an echoey silence about your adendum. To tell you the truth, it didn't occur to me to respond. I'm just so happy that you're OK and your baby is OK and you had a wonderful, loving birth experience. I don't think that this group gives out burly woman points. I think giving birth is burly enough.

[Mama Faery]

Yes, Sarah, what fiddlefern said. Also, I've been so wrapped up in my own drama I just hadn't thought to respond. I apologize for my silence...I'm just happy for you and your wonderful baby too!
I have to thank every one of you for the support. I talked about it in my yoga class this morning and it really, really helped. My DH is also being wonderful, he's thinking of going in to the appointment with me next week to add his thoughts! But I also don't want to make things super-tense with my OB this close to delivery, so I will approach this as civilly as I can.
But I am feeling TONS better, and I have you all, in part, to thank.

Physically, nothing much. Still spotting a teeny bit, sleeping a lot, feeling Baby move lower and lower so I'm waddling! :LOL I've been nesting, trying to make sure we have everything in order before our son arrives! DH's parents may come up for Mother's Day tomorrow, but I don't know yet. We were going to go out to breakfast but there's no real plans. I hadn't thought of it really!
Happy Mother's Day to each and every one of you wonderful mamas!

-Renae

[Marco Esquandolas]

WOO HOO, Sherri!! Congrats to you and family! I was figuring you must've gone when I hadn't seen you post lately. How cool-cinco de mayo...your daughter is gonna love you when she's older and of um the partying ages. Yeah, just the thought you want in your head right now, tee hee hee.

Ok, so I'm glad you're feeling somewhat better, KK. Now you're cleared to give birth. I hope it is VERY soon for you, if not already. If not, I hope you find the strength to keep hanging there OK.

I think that makes shalom and morningdove next'ish. I'm trying to remember everyone's order. D'uh! I could just check the list, but that would require more energy than I have right now, lol.

Stacia-that sounds like fun-doing the belly cast. I've never done one and each time wished I would have. Oh well. You'll have to let us know how it turns out.

Sarah-thanks for the extra info on your birth story and continued updates. I love hearing about your babymoon! How are your bb's? Still sore or getting better now? I hope you know it is totally normal to be sore for a week or so, esp if/when they get engorged, but then they should "toughen" up and the pain will go away. I'm sure you've already heard about lansinoh for putting on them too, if needed.

Ohhh, and renae-nothing to add to what has already been posted, but I feel for ya!

Happy Mother's Day (albeit a day early), mamas!!!

[shalom]

congratulations to all you new mamas! today I am four days past my due date and sadly am already feeling losts of pressure to have this baby! my midwife goes out of town late Monday night and I sooooooo want to have this baby with her rather than the back-up midwife we have!

I've been feeling ready for days- lots of loose BM's (TMI?), lots of contractions, plenty moody and queasy, etc. and I really hope labor comes soon! I almost feel like trying some natural induction methods so I can have my beloved midwife, but it seems really wrong at the same time???

well, I'll be hoping for a REALLY special Mother's Day tomorrow! Sweet last days to all of you pregnant mamas!