Feeling sad... - Page 3

[Nathan1097]

Originally Posted by Acksiom

Good for you, nice to hear that your partner/s not only enjoyed it but communicated that clearly.

Yes they did. But that's because it takes some understanding on my part of what and why men like what they do. It also takes a WANT to do these things. Most women do not, I don't think. Or if they do, its just a matter of "What will I get later?"

I guess that would make me perfectly lonely and miserable, then.

Wow, great, what a stunning achievement. Go Me.

Umm.... I don't quite understand why you're so down on yourself.

Well, as I said. . .I wouldn't know.

Do you WANT to know? I don't know what else to say without knowing why you're so down about the subject.

[Nathan1097]

Acksiom, I just read your signature.... You're male? Confused....! I had assume the opposite! :

[colaga]

Are people not aware that once the man's penis is erect, the foreskin retracts and it looks just like a circ'ed penis?

Correct me if I am wrong, but it actually doesn't look *just* like a circumcised penis. The foreskin still covers the head of the penis somewhat, I suppose it would depend on how long the foreskin was to start with. Some men have longer foreskins, some shorter.

[Frankly Speaking]

The vast majority of men retract completely when fully erect. Some will have the foreskin bunched up behind the glans and some will have it stretched down the shaft. However, it is still loose and can easily be pulled over the glans. This looseness it the "lubricating quality" you hear about. It's not really lubrication but instead the ability of the skin to slide up and down. The lubrication effect is between the inside of the skin and the shaft of the penis. The best way I know to describe it is the way a dog's skin is loose around it's neck. It'll move up and down and all around. This helps cut down on the skin sliding against the opening of the vagina and rubbing it raw.




Frank

[colaga]

The vast majority of men retract completely when fully erect.

Really? Well, I am certainly not an expert on mens' penises..
But my dh has a slightly longer foreskin and upon erection it *completely* covers the head of the penis (unless manipulated somehow, of course ).

[Nathan1097]

Originally Posted by colaga

Really? Well, I am certainly not an expert on mens' penises..
But my dh has a slightly longer foreskin and upon erection it *completely* covers the head of the penis (unless manipulated somehow, of course ).

Wow. And I thought I was lucky to find a circ'd guy who had enough skin to actually move over the glans a bit!

[colaga]

No, my dh is completely intact, he's British. I just have a little difficulty imagining that most intact men retract completely when erect (if not manipulated). That sounds incredibly uncomfortable.

[Frankly Speaking]

It can be a little uncomfortable when the erection comes at an inappropriate time and the glans is rubbing against underwear. However, it is not major discomfort and more of a distraction. It also goes away fairly quickly so it's not a big deal.




Frank

[Goldiemom]

I just want to toss this out there so I know how you other mom's would react. This actually happened to my cousin. While he was dating his wife they never had any kind of sexual relations other than some heavy kissing. So they were both virgins when they got married. My cousin was intact and never over the course of the 4 years that they dated thought anything of it. So on the night of his wedding, they went to do the wild thang and she freaked out! Didn't want to touch it or have it anywhere near her cause {in her words} it didn't look right. Long story short, he ended up getting circ'd at age 20. He and his wife are very happy, but he told me that he had some resentment about his wedding night being ruined.

DH had a friend in high school that got circ'd when he was 17. Basically the guy just said to his parents I am getting it done and that was that. I don't condone it, but I am just wondering how you Mom's would feel if when your ds' are older they want to have it done? Please don't flame me for asking, I really am just curious as to how you would address the situation. I had my ds circ'd and am debating having any future ds' left intact, I just want to make the best desissions that I can for all my children. Thanks in advance for your input.

[Sustainer]

If my son ever wants to be circ'd, I will do everything in my power to convince him not to do it. If he ends up doing it anyway, I will be devastated. I'm almost positive he won't want to, though.

A friend of my cousin's was circ'd as an adult, and he says that sex doesn't feel any where near as good as it used to.

Regarding your future son(s), PLEASE read this article:

http://www.mothering.com/10-0-0/html...cision85.shtml

[LavenderMae]

Leanne, I would honestly be very sad if my ds decided to get circed because someone else's ignorance (the case with your cousin) and would try my best to talk him out of it. I can't imagine him having a problem with his natural healthy anatomy to want to cut part of it off. And if for some reason he does I would try to help him work thru his feelings and hopefully he would decide against circing. If he did decide after all that to still circ it would break my heart but at least I would know I did the right thing by leaving the decision up to him.

[Frankly Speaking]

Leanne:

I think you need to change your question to "What if my circumcised son wanted to not be circumcised?" You see, an intact man can be circumcised at his wish. It is a simple, quick and relatively painless procedure. It can be done at any time in the man's life at his request. However, if you look at the statistical evidence, that is very unlikely. The incidence of intact men being circumcised as adults for all reasons is only 6/10ths of 1%. In fact, only 3% have ever considered it as a possibility.

However, the other way of looking at it is that about 20% of men are not happy that they were circumcised as infants and 60% have no feeling one way or the other. From these statistics, it can be deducted that 97% of intact men are satisfied with the form of their penis while less than 80% of circumcised men show similar satisfaction. I imagine if men knew what circumcision had done to their sexual experience and the late life effects, that satisfaction rate would plummet to less than 20%.

The problem with circumcision is it is an irreversible decision that is imposed on another person. If there were any benefits to be derived from the procedure, it would be appropriate to weigh those benefits against the risk of the victim not agreeing with the decision. But since there are no known benefits and the decision is being imposed on another person's body, it is only ethical to preserve that decision for the person who will have to live with the consequences.





Frank

[boingo82]

Originally Posted by Goldiemom

...Didn't want to touch it or have it anywhere near her cause {in her words} it didn't look right. ....

Forget whether my son wants to be circ'd at 20. What the dickens is he doing with such a shallow witch of a woman?

[TigerTail]

for a virgin, she sure is opinionated about what she thinks a penis ought to look like. (my point is not that virgins should be ignorant of such things; but that in such a case, i'd want to talk beforehand & see no obstacles to being informed. why was it not discussed?)

man, if i was the guy i'd sure get an annulment before a circ! can you imagine a man expressing disgust at your genitals on your wedding night & insisting they be amptutated before he'd touch you? can you imagine doing it!

suse

[house elf]

Hi Leanne. First off, I'd be very disappointed if my son ever married someone as ignorant and uncaring as your cousin's wife. If you love someone you love every part of them no matter if it's your idea of "perfection." And someone so disgusted at a natural, normal body part is ignorant, plain and simple.

Honestly, if my son ever wanted a circumcision for vanity reasons I'd be saddened, but I truly doubt that would ever happen. I plan to educate him on why we left him intact and what circumcision is and I plan to remind him of it -- of course keeping what I tell him appropriate for his age level. I think once he learns all that circumcised boys are missing, he would never want a circumcision.

If a doctor ever prescribes a circumcision, we will keep in mind that many American doctors are ignorant on the foreskin and not only look for a second opinion but try other options first, depending on what the problem is. We would treat any problem with his genitals with surgery as a last option just like we would with a daughter. Since the non-infant circ rate is incredibly low, with a portion of those circs being for vanity reasons, I would say the change of a TRULY medically necessary circ being almost nil.

And like Frank says, if my son ever really wants or needs a circumcision he can get one. A circumcised man is !@#$ out of luck, if you know what I mean. He can go through the long process of restoration, but never totally gets back what was lost.

And Frank, just to clarify, you mean an adult circ is almost painless, because they can get proper anesthesia, correct? Infant circ is very painful even with anesthesia because it just cannot be adequate (I know you know that Frank, just throwing that out there in case someone is reading who doesn't know!).

[Teresa]

<<So on the night of his wedding, they went to do the wild thang and she freaked out! Didn't want to touch it or have it anywhere near her cause {in her words} it didn't look right. Long story short, he ended up getting circ'd at age 20. He and his wife are very happy, but he told me that he had some resentment about his wedding night being ruined.>>

I am so tempted to just pass on this, but cannot.

My husband is intact and my premarital experience was fairly limited.
Ok, very limited.
Having said that, and not knowing how to put this too delicately, when we were newlyweds, I do not think I often saw him in a state that 'didn't look right' (in other words--newlyweds are often either having sex or preparing to).
In fact, I don't know that if I had seen him 'relaxed' during that stage I would have known the difference, even having seen pictures of circumcised genitals, I probably would have assumed they were erect.

By what comparison did the presumably chaste bride judge him?
Or am I misunderstanding and she had a great deal of sexual experience but not with him?

Just wondering, and not trying to be 'catty' but the story just seems odd.
And does his resentment about his wedding being ruined stem from her behaviour or from his intactness?

Very curious. . .

And to answer the original question, I would hope that my son would stay whole & intact and leave the partner (just as I'd hope my daughter would refuse implants/lifts, etc. and do the same) but if he chose to do so as an adult, so be it, and hopefully he'd keep that information to himself. A bit personal to be telling me about his partner's sexual hang-ups, I think.

My bigger concern would be that they might decide to circumcise their children for cosmetic reasons.
Ugh.

[Frankly Speaking]

A man having a circumcision can have full, knocked out all morning, not knowing what is going on, never feel a thing, wake up and it's all over anesthesia. A neonate can not have this because it is simply too dangerous. An adult can have some of the most powerful post operative pain relievers known to medicine. Having had some of those, I know they are incredibly effective. Neonates rarely get anything for the pain during the procedure and usually nada, zip, zilch, nothing for the pain for the next week or two after the procedure. If they get anything, it would be baby Tylenol. Baby Tylenol would be like sending the fire department out with water pistols as far as it's effectiveness after amputative surgery on such a sensitive area.





Frank

[Mommiska]

[QUOTE=TeresaMy husband is intact and my premarital experience was fairly limited.
Ok, very limited.
Having said that, and not knowing how to put this too delicately, when we were newlyweds, I do not think I often saw him in a state that 'didn't look right' (in other words--newlyweds are often either having sex or preparing to).
In fact, I don't know that if I had seen him 'relaxed' during that stage I would have known the difference, even having seen pictures of circumcised genitals, I probably would have assumed they were erect.

By what comparison did the presumably chaste bride judge him?
Or am I misunderstanding and she had a great deal of sexual experience but not with him?

Just wondering, and not trying to be 'catty' but the story just seems odd.
[/QUOTE]


I totally agree with this. My dh is intact as well, and my pre-wedding night experience of penises was limited to reading a book while making sure my two little brothers didn't drown in their bath! (both of my brothers are circ'ed, btw).

And it never occurred to me to be weirded out by his intact status - after all, I'd never seen an adult circed man before, so I had no real basis for comparison.

Unless the cousin's wife had a lot more experience than he had, this story also seems a bit odd to me...

[woobysma]

Originally Posted by suseyblue

man, if i was the guy i'd sure get an annulment before a circ! can you imagine a man expressing disgust at your genitals on your wedding night & insisting they be amptutated before he'd touch you? can you imagine doing it!

Just had to second this - the idea is horrifying. I would be furious if my children married someone like that!

As for circ'ing later in life, I hope my sons never want to, especially because of someone else's insecurity or ignorance. I think after 18 years, though, I would have to respect his decision. (that's what my mom did with my 2nd & 3rd tattoos - she wouldn't even look at the 4th one)
He would certainly get an ear-full from me before hand, though!

[Attached2Elijah]

It's funny... before having my son and deciding against Circ', I had never even seen an uncirc'd penis. It's very rare here to *not* circ... sad, but true. Anyway, when we started doing some research I talked to some women that I had known that had been with a man with an uncirc'd penis, and they all said when it got right down to it, the only time they could tell it was any differant was when he wasn't erect anyway and that it made no differance to them during love-making. Including Oral, because it looked pretty much the same when the foreskin was retracted.

Granted, if any woman ever has a problem with my son's perfect genitalia, she can hit the road because if the fact that his mother chose against mutilating him is enough to make her not want to be with him, she doesn't deserve to even see his penis anyway. Because no child of mine will be with a woman that chooses to have my grandson's penis mutilated!