How much do you share with kids about household finances?? - Page 2

[Geofizz]

Originally Posted by Foobar

Ok- Goo is ONLY 21 months, but she already understands the basics of money.

She knows I go to the bank to get money out of the money wall (ATM). She knows that mommy and daddy go to work and this puts the money IN the money wall. She knows that a tool booth means we pay money. She knows that if we want to take something home from the store, we have to trade money for the thing we want.

Ok, that's cute! My daughter (just a tad younger) pretty much just understands that mommy gets a bit upset if she takes the cash out of my wallet and stuffs it under the desk!

Seriously, all good points here. I think that it may be something to take on a case by case basis depending on how you feel about money yourself and how anxious your child may or may not be about knowing if there is "enough."

[slightly crunchy]

My son is only 2, so this hasn't come up for us yet, but I am thinking about it.

I think children should be free from worry about the financial state of the family. That is why the child has parents, to deal with that stuff and to care for them. The child ideally should not have to think about these things.

I do think it is important to teach financial responsibility, but in a positive way that does not make the child feel bad or guilty. Kids who are poor, will know it, they do not need mom and dad to talk about how we can't afford this or that. At a certain point growing up, it was obvious to me that we didn't have money. We certainly were provided for, but I wore all hand-me-downs from friends, got free lunch at school, sometimes got new shoes for a birthday gift, etc. I never knew how much my dad made, or how much the bills were, or the car cost, but by example my parents instilled in me the importance of paying bills on time, paying credit card in full every month. My dad worked an extra menial job at night at different times, in addition to his fulltime day job, to make ends meet and have a few little extras. My mom clipped coupons and did rebates and we went grocery shopping with her at different stores and comparison shopped when we needed to buy things. I always had one extracurricular activity, but I was aware that my mom got a discount because she had explained to the teachers that she couldn't afford the full tuition. I think these things were more important than knowing specifics about the family's financial situation.

When I was in high school, the family's financial situation was much better. My parents did pay for my college but I suffered a lot of guilt trips from my dad about this. This is something I do not wish for my own child.

The hard thing for DH and I will be that we will probably be able to afford most things that ds asks for. He will probably also attend schools where most children are from affluent families. Saying that "it is not in our budget" may not really fly. I really don't want him to grow up having everything handed to him without understanding the value. Because of our upbringings, DH and I are pretty frugal with our money, so that will help. I am glad that ds will have to suffer the pain of being a "have not" in our society like I did, but I also want to find ways to help him learn to appreciate the worth of a dollar.

If my child someday asks how much our income is or how much our mortgage is, I will say that that is not something that he needs to know. Once he is a teenager, maybe that type of knowledge would be more useful in teaching something about finances; until then, he doesn't need to know those things.

[Suzannah]

I think you can still say that it's not in your budget, even if you have the money. Just because you have money doesn't mean that you don't have to have a plan about where it goes and what you spend it on, and that is what a budget is, KWIM?

Kids should not get everything they want, period. I have taught in public schools and in private schools, and kids who did receive all of their desires were less motivated all the way around (and less understanding of other children about pretty much everything) than those kids who needed to save their allowance OR who came from families with a lot of money but still had parents who insisted on having their children work for some things. There is this serious sense of entitlement (brought up also by a previous poster), and I think in some ways it is more difficult to raise a financially responsible child when you have a lot of money (although I would not shrink from that challenge!!!).

[Violeta]

hmmm. this kind of a hard question to answer and i have younger children so i don't know what to tell a 10 year old...i know though from growing up relatively poor, i still have anxiety over money issuess...my parents had to borrow money from me to pay bills and buy groceries while i was a teenager..though they always paid me back..i think that it has caused me alot of problems with money, not having enough, you know stuff like that..but i do think kids should be taught how to save and spend money and of course keeping a check book and all of that stuff...

[DebraBaker]

What Suzannah said.

We have been very poor at times in the past. I tried to keep the stress away from the children but there was no way to keep it from them.

Things are much better now and we're able to live well within our means.

I get sick of being teased about being frugal but it's sort of turned around and is a virtue whether you need to be frugal or not.

My children are all good workers, they know that if they really want something they must work and save the money for themselves.

I like the parent who paid the price for regular jeans and made the child work for the difference. That's my style.

DB