Week of May 3

[Piglet68]

October Mamas Roll Call

momtol&a
snugglebutter 10/01
mirthfulmum 10/03
TracyK 10/04
mhurst 10/04
kraftykathy 10/04
Jillerina 10/04
water 10/06
Proudly AP 10/08
FutureMama 10/09
allformyboys 10/11
Lucysmama 10/12
bendmom 10/12
momadance 10/13
Mandi 10/14
rhemp 10/14
wannabmommie 10/15
krnflwr 10/16
Piglet68 10/18
MommyMuse 10/19
BeauGeek 10/20
BeansMomma 10/20
CourtneyandLogan 10/21
EmbersMOM 10/21
Stanleymama 10/23
gottaknit 10/24
3boyz4us 10/24
Ctmom70 10/24
aspiring mama 10/25
truebluexf 10/27
Soogie 10/27
ameliabedelia 10/29
flitters 10/30
AnnR33 10/31

Good Morning, everybody!!!

Hope you all had a nice weekend. On Saturday we took DD out to the Nature centre where they have a few animals there, including a rescued bald eagle that was amazing to see up close. DD loved the foxes - when she says "fox" it sounds alot like a certain cuss word, and it was quite funny having her running around yelling "FOCK, FOCK!". On Sunday I was very, very tired for some reason, and slept most of the day (DD and I had a long nap together). It was a bit cold this weekend, and I'm desperately waiting for summer to come for good!

Question of the Week: Will there be any family around you for the birth?

When DD was born, we were thousands of miles away from family. I was glad because I knew how I wanted things to go and I didn't want criticisms or too much advice-giving. I wanted to be left alone with DH to do things the way we wanted to. My mother came to visit when DD was 3 weeks old (ostensibly to help me after DH returned to work, since I had a c-section) and we ended up spending the whole time sightseeing b/c my recovery was so fast.

This time around, we're planning on moving back to our home town before baby is born. I'm now very much looking forward to sharing the experience with family and friends. Now I'm an "experienced" mom, and they won't get on my case about things, since DD has turned out so well "despite" our weird ideas of cosleeping, babywearing, etc. It will be nice to have visitors in the hospital, and more hands to help out (especially with DD).

[Soogie]

We have lived 1400 miles away from family for the past 10 years. When I was pregnant with ds #1, I made it clear to family that there were to be no visitors for at least 3 weeks after he was born. I was very protective of our time together as a family. My husband took 3 weeks off from work and we had an incredible bonding experience, just the 3 of us. I wouldn't have changed it for anything. It was magical. I just didn't want to deal with house guests, feeling like I needed to entertain them, learning how to be a mom, getting the hang of breastfeeding, all with an audience. My Dad and sister came when Aidan was 3 1/2 weeks and my mil came 2 weeks later. They were initially insulted, but they got over it quickly.

With dd #2, I was extremely grateful that my Dad wanted to come down before she was born and stay for awhile afterwards to help with my son. It was important for me to have somebody here to lavish Aidan with as much attention as he could get, when his new baby sister arrived. What was great about my Dad's visit was that he came in his motorhome and parked it in our backyard. So he had his own place to go to. He was in and out of the house throughout the day, but if I said I needed rest, or Aidan was napping, he'd go rest out back too. It worked out perfectly.

Now with baby #3 on the way, and two toddlers underfoot, I'm looking for all the help I can get!! We are having a homebirth this time and Damian really wanted to share the moment with his mom, and he asked me if it would bother me if she were here. I said she is welcome to come for the birth, as long as the energy in the house remains positive. My Dad is also planning on coming again.He said he plans to be outside fishng with the kids, not near the birth itself. Too much for my Dad to handle. lol.

Susan
mommy to Aidan (3 1/2), Fiona (2), and little boo (edd 10/27)

[OakEmber]

We had a nice weekend here too. I got my early Mother's Day present...a fridge! It's sooo nice, our other was was pretty dinky...this one is huge! It's stainless steel (we're crazy, hehe, is there a fingerprint icon :LOL) and it looks so cool in our kitchen, totally worth the effort to keep it clean!

QOTW- I plan on having DH, my mom, my sister and Ember (at least as much as Ember wants to be involved). My mom is there as my support and my sister as Ember's, though they can take shifts. Honestly I think I need woman support more than that of DH, at least that's how it went last time...he ended up getting a migraine towards the end and was in worse shape than me :LOL (he was great up until that point, helping me in the shower, etc.) When I had Ember we lived 5 hrs away, my MIL came out about a week early and stayed a week after. She was a totally awsome doula for me. We had tons of family come out and visit in the first two weeks, it was nice...I didn't have to worry about dinner, someone always made it or they went out and brought back food. I was at my sisters first birth (but missed the actual birth because it happened so fast) as was my mom, so it will be nice for us to be together for mine.

[stanleymama]

Hi all

Had a relaxing weekend. A good friend of mine had a little boy on Saturday and I am hoping to get a chance to go and see her today. She had to be rushed to a larger hospital an hour away because she was becoming preeclampsic and the baby is really small due to intra-uterine growth restriction. Thankfully they are both doing very well!!! This is her first and it will be so neat to see her as a mom.

QOTW: I only have my dh with me in delivery as some of my family are the type that can drive you crazy. The boys will either be with my brother and his wife during delivery or with mil if she is still in the area. She comes north for the summers--can't handle the cold weather. Dh and I like it just being the two of us. It gives us an opportunity to bond with our new little one before everyone starts showing up.

[AnnR33]

Yeah, I felt the baby move this weekend! I'm only 14 wks but I saw my dr on Thur and told her if I didn;t know any better I think I felt the baby move last night but isn't it too early? She said "No" since this is your 3rd the uterus gets thinner/more stretched out earlier with each pregnancy and you certainly could've felt something.
Well, this weekend I was laying in bed and out of the blue-I felt a significant small bump, then another. It was pretty cool to feel something so early.

QOTW-family at birth time-what a hassle! LOL Of course, I love them to be around but other than that first visit in the hosp I want the first week alone to bond, sleep, and just "be" and my family has such a hard time with that. My mom is still mad from my first 5 yrs ago when I told her she couldn't visit before 10am or after 5pm on those first few weekends they visited since I was so exhausted I actually got faint after 5pm and could barely walk I got so dizzy. She said I was "rude"-whatever! It was better the 2nd time around but she was still snippy about it and asked when she was "allowed" to visit.
There is a slim chance we could be across the country for this birth then of course I'll be dying for family to be around, wouldn't that be ironic!

Have a good week everyone
Ann

[Lucysmama]

Hi everyone!!! Hope you had a nice weekend! It was a crappy, rainy, cold weekend here and dd and I were cooped up indoors. We got some cleaning done, though!

QOTW: I WISH I was far away from family. They all live within a 30 mile radius. And they are all overbearing. :LOL We aren't calling ANYONE when I go into labor. I don't want them to even know I am laboring. They put so much pressure on me to have the baby when I was in labor with dd, it was awful. They just hung out while I was in labor, and my mom was trying to talk me into a c-section, etc...

This time, it'll be just me and dd and dh and the midwife for the birth. I had a discussion with dh last night and I said that I don't want any family over for a while....maybe a week. He said that since they live nearby, they are going to want to see the baby, so they will stop by, so we HAVE to let them in to see the baby. I said, "No, you just tell them that we are resting and it isn't a good time, and don't let them in." He said that's totally rude. I flipped out at him a bit....I think the baby and I deserve some quiet rest time and it's our decision when to let people over. What do you guys think?

Ann-
My mom still claims I was "rude" to her the day after Lucy was born. I had just been through a terrible labor followed by a c-section, followed by being knocked out for a day accidentally...when I came to, I asked her and my brothers to leave so I could be with the baby. Apparently, that was the first time she had had to "bond" with the baby...and she was mad about being kicked out. WTF?!!?! I hadn't even had a time to hold my child yet! She was/is totally offended. :

So, I finally settled down with my little newborn, just me and the baby. We fall asleep together in the hospital bed. It was my first "mommy" moment. I awoke to my MIL yanking the baby out of my arms so she could hold her.

You can see why I want NO FAMILY around for a while...

[Piglet68]

Hey everyone.

I just got a call from my OB. My triple screen test came back with a 1/25 chance of DS. I think DH is more upset about this than I am. My feeling is that we've already had a good nuchal translucency test with our first U/S, and given the false positive rate for the triple screen, I feel the chances of DS are actually much less than the 4% quoted. I already told my OB I don't want amnio, since I don't see the point and it's not worth the risk IMO. He agrees. I will be having at least 2 more U/S for a higher level diagnostic. While I know that U/S is not a definitive measure for DS, I know I will feel better if those come back "DS-free". In the meantime, I have to go meet with a "genetic counsellor". I'm not exactly sure what the point of that is - DH has no DS in his family, and since I'm adopted I have no clue. But I might as well go anyways. I think it will make DH and I feel better to talk with someone about it. Still, with all the testing done, I think it's good for DH and I to be thinking about this. I will be able to read up on special considerations for DS babies, such as BFing, etc. and be prepared. If the baby is born without DS, then we will be happy too. But it doesn't hurt to be prepared!

lucysmama: oh yes, I can see why you don't want family around. I think you just need to tell everybody BEFOREHAND that you will not be receiving visitors for the first week. That way, if anybody shows up at your door unannounced, it will be THEM that are being rude!

[momadance]

Piglet All will be well.

Anyone else experiencing ravenous hunger? I've upped me weights on some reps and I think that may have something to do with it, but my weekend was a munchy one! Laid low for the most part and had Dh serenade me now that he's home! He's learning my recent faves! He plays guitar and has such a nice soft singing voice

QOTW: Well, Ds birth was a party! My mom, MIL and Dh's Granny where present for the delivery while a gaggle of others laid low in the waiting room. It was the first vaginal delivery his 72 yr old Granny had ever been a part of! It really knocked her socks of. Both of her girls where C sectioned, as where there babes! I was induced, which is why any of them made it. There all from out of state.

I imagine for lab/del it will just be myself, Dh,Ds and the MW. I'll call my mom asap though. Any excuse to get her down here to hang out with me! She's my best bud and awesome Our imediate family is super respectful and understanding about any and all needs we have at all times. We have great comunitcation with all. (maybe that's because there all hundreds of miles away )

Anyone having twins? My mind has been obsessed with the idea. NOt longing for any, just wrapping my mind around the fact that it could happen to anyone :

Since becoming a frequent poster on MDC, I've realized I don't know how to spell, which somewhat dashes my confidence in my homeschooling abilities! Maybe I should start homeschooling my self :LOL

[3bees~1flower]

hey...haven't posted in a couple weeks, but have been lurking...i'm feeling good...feeling movement, somedays i don't feel much, some days quite a bit....i'm 15wks, 1 day. my next appt is the 15th.

re: the US, we will have the 18-20 wk one. i had one at 7 wks due to the spotting i had early, that was so reassuring to see the little heart beating away. also, i have never had the AFP and won't with this one.

as far as where the baby will sleep, i always keep them in our room in a cradle till they are 8-10 mos old then move them to their bedroom...right now all three boys are in one room...we are working on moving our room to the basement and then the older boys will have their own room, and ds#3 and the baby will have their own. i just can't co-sleep...i have never been able to sleep with someone laying so close to me. the babies are always within arms reach in their cradle that my dad made for ds#1.

QOTW: normally it's just dh in the OR with me...but when i read the question it dawned on me that i want my sister in there with us standing by the stabilet with the baby. this is our last one and i think it'd be really cool to have her in there with us. i hope the hospital goes for it!! got any good ammo for me in discussing it with them??

[mirthfulmum]

QOTW: In the delivery room it'll jut be my husband and I. For us it is such an amazing and intimate experience. It was so amazing when Alias was born and we had the first half an hour after delivery of it just being us, a family. The hospital we were at was so great. When we said it was okay, they ushered in the family, let them take a quick look at the baby, and then ushered tham back out telling them they could return in a few hours. We then had the next 10 hours to ourselves. It was so peaceful to just have time to dedicate ourselves to the new baby. And we want to have that experience again.
Although what I won't be repeating was the chaos that ensued afterwards. We had my mother, MIL and SIL staying with us for 2 weeks after Alias was born. It was so stressful. We live in a 2 bedroom condo! We did not have the room to handle the crowd, much less the family powerplays that inevitably came up with my mom and MIL together in such a confined space. I haven't fiured out how to best go about managing it but I only want one relative at a time to come and visit when the new baby arrives. My MIL is great and will repect whatever choice I make regarding family visits. My mom on the other hand will pout and go on and on about how hurt her feelings are. And then go on and on about how much I'm going to need her and what a big help she'll be. And I'll have to listen to her complain about how painful it all was for her for the next 25 years. Aaahhh mothers. I think that Lucysmama's mom, AnnR53's mom and my mom are cut from the same cloth.

[stanleymama]

I think my mom was cut from the same cloth as lucysmom, annr53 and mirthfulmoms. She wouldn't even come to see ds#3 because he wasn't the girl that she "prophesied" he would be. He was around 2 mos. before she came to see him. My parents don't even know that I am pg yet. We are going to wait as long as we can before telling them. So I know how the 3 of you feel. Thankfully my mil isn't wacked out like her. But good for you who have awesome mamas!!!

[ameliabedelia]

I am not sure where we will be living when it is time for me to give birth. DH is going to be looking for new jobs this summer, and we are hoping to move closer to my family. For the birth itself, it will just be DH, DD, the midwives, maybe a doula and I. I don't want anyone else. I will feel more comfortable the fewer people there. However, with DD my mom came to stay with us for a week afterward and it was awesome. My mom is great She is a wonderful support, she came down to help with the house, cook, clean, do laundry, and basically be supportive. She never even held DD unless we offered it to her. She definitely understand that we needed to bond with her and didn't try to bond with her herself. She just let us be with the baby and took care of the household chores. She will do that again this time, but depending on where we live, will depend on how quickly she can get there after the birth.

However, if we are still living here, than my IL's are close, but they have to stay far, far away. They are the type to want to hold the baby themselves, etc., So, we wont' tell them until after the baby is born and won't invite them down to see him (her?) for at least a week or so.

[Lucysmama]

Piglet-
Keep us posted...I hope everything is ok.

[krnflwr]

I had a grand circle of friends and family around me for Hannah's birth, which is exactly what I wanted at the time. This time I'm feeling more like I'd like this birth to be an intimate, private affair. Perhaps because I'm planning a water birth, or because I feel a bit more comfortable with the idea of birthing. My DH and my mom both are planning on being with me, but at this point I'm more concerned about who is going to be with Hannah (who will be almost 3 yrs by then) and if they will allow her to stay with me in the hosp. I need to go tour the hosp and interview the staff there, make sure it is the right place for us.
It sure is starting to look like spring around here. Yippee!

[mirthfulmum]

Piglet - I'll be keeping my thoughts with you. You sound like you are in a good place with the test results.

[Piglet68]

Hey everyone. Thanks for the well-wishes.

All this has been weighing heavily on my mind of course. And I have asked myself if maybe I just shouldn't have taken the test, but I am honestly glad I did. I am just not the sort to sit back and think "positive thoughts" - I need the OB visits, the heartbeat listening, and the regular tests coming back "ok" to give me reassurance. I know that none of these are guarantees, and I feel that I will be able to handle whatever surprises are in store should it come to that, but I really feel that these tests help me to have a more peaceful pregnancy. And now with this result, the good thing is, it is helping us to face decisions and plan ahead for things. I have discovered that it is very easy to say "I would never do X" but now that I'm faced head on with certain possibilities, I find myself requestioning things.

I think at this point I am leaning strongly towards amnio (having sworn just yesterday that I wouldn't do it, lol). Mostly because DH and I just "need to know". We won't be able to deal with not knowing, and no amount of ultrasounds are going to give us the definitive answer that amnio will. The biggest risk I have to face is the possibility that an amnio might cause miscarriage, and of a healthy baby to boot. But I have done some soul-searching and have realized that I'm okay with this. I can handle a miscarriage. I could handle it if it happened without the amnio, and I know I can handle it if it happens b/c of the amnio. I just can't handle not knowing.

We have an appointment on Friday morning to talk with a genetics counsellor about what our options are, re: further testing. There is an appointment for an amnio right afterwards if we choose to do so.

[flitters]

hi everyone.

i think i was lucky enough to feel movement late last week, like something fish-like gently brushing up against me from the inside a few times, but nothing since. i know it's early since this is my first and i'm not even 15 weeks yet - i am happy i had the chance to feel something already that was definitely not gas!

we had our 14 week appointment with our midwife last friday and it was great. dh and i really are so happy with her. we heard the heartbeat again and it sounded wonderful.

wannabe, everyone deserves a care provider who is more considerate that what you've experienced. i'm sorry you've had such a rough time finding a group that makes you completely happy.

piglet, i'm sorry for your ambigous results. like you said, the false positives with the AFP are so much more common than a true positive. good luck with your decision about amnio. i wish there were less invasive ways that could give you more definitive answers - i've even heard of inconclusive amnio results before. it's really uncommon, but i guess they run a bunch of tests for each baby and it can happen where most tests come back normal but a couple can show something unclear that may be a chromosomal anomoly or may just be a result from the processing of the sample for the test. even the diagnostic tests can leave question marks sometimes. good luck with whatever your choice is.

qotw: my mom is planning to come for the birth but she is in arizona and we are in california so i'm not exactly sure if that will work. i also invited the woman who is like a sister to me but she is in new york so i don't think she will actually make it out for the birth. our dogs will be home with us too - we'll have to keep them out of the birthing pool though! i think i'd actually prefer it to just be me and dh but i want my mom to be there if she wants to be and i'd be happy either way with my nearly-sister.

[AnnR33]

Piglet, thinking of you

Well I guess it's official-we're moving to SEATTLE!!! I'm so incredibly scared and excited at the same time and my DH is popping tums like crazy-poor guy LOL!
It looks like all will be moving very quicky and we should be out there by July I think which is enough time for me to find midwife, etc for my Oct babe. Please reassure me it is!!! If anyone has some names please let me know!

We're moving to the Bothel area just north of Seattle and my DH will be in Everett working there and Seattle so we're trying to get in the middle-again, any helpful advice is welcome!!

YIKES-just the idea of moving all our crap is frightening-that's one way to simplify!
Ann

[True Blue]

Piglet -- I only have a sec and don't know how many weeks you are offhand, but do you think the test could possibly be too early? My friend got a positive on the AFP and her doc just had her take it again a week later, and it turned out fine that time....just an idea????

[Lucysmama]

Ann-
I am so excited for you! I lived in Olympia for awhile, and then we moved back to Ohio. I fantasize about moving back to WA all the time! My family would think we are . (We lived there for 7 months, decided it wasn't working out, and moved back. I think we made a mistake coming back to Cleveland, but oh well....) You really are moving out there at the most beautiful time of the year! And I think you have plenty of time to find a mw....ask around in the Finding Your Tribe WA thread.