Preschool dilemma

[oceanbaby]

I have never been really big on ds going to preschool necessarily, but started researching our options after having it recommended as possibly helpful for speech issues that he was having.

Okay, long story somewhat short: After researching all the different schools (many of which are already booked for the fall), the school I liked best had a 2year waiting list. The director called me later and said that she thought ds was so delightful that she would love to offer him a spot should one come up. I just found out that a spot opened up.

This is a wonderful preschool, very mellow yet organized, no academic or social pressure, very gentle in nature, small classes, parent participation welcomed, etc. But it is a 5 day a week program. The idea of being separated from ds 5 days a week is just hearbreaking for me. I could always just send him 3 days (she said herself that she had no problem with that), but would still have to pay for 5. However, I am having our 2nd baby in July, and may very well be changing my tune about the option of having ds in a wonderful program each morning. He would be 3.5 when he started this fall.

I feel so guilty about the thought of it, like I am shoving him away. The only reason I am even thinking about it is because I know he would LOVE it! Every time we have visited a preschool, I had to drag him out of there. But he is only young for such a short period of time, and the idea of missing out on half his days just breaks my heart.

I'm thinking of accepting, and just seeing how things are when September rolls around. If I change my mind, worst case scenario is I lose the deposit, but with the demand for spots there, I have no doubt they would be able to find a replacement.

What would you do? Have you also wrestled with the decision to put your child in preschool when you didn't have to?

[Kristine233]

My oldest is in Pre-K. (step up from preschool and step down from Kindergarten). At first I wasnt goign to put her in school because she is a smart cookie and I do alot with the kids at home. But it got to the point where she craved social interaction. I do daycare but it just wasnt enough. I checked with the Catholic school we planned on sending her to for Kindergarten and they just opened a pre-k and its awesome! I drop her off in the afternoon and she rides the bus home. For us it was wonderful, she so needed that other kid interaction!

Andy is in Preschool through the school. Hes in a program for special needs kids. While the main reason he is there is for help I silently am relieved. Sounds really bad but as other moms of special needs kids can relate its exhausting! He goes 4 days a week for the mornings and rides the bus to and from school. He gets what he needs and mom has time to regroup. When at home its chaos from wake up to bedtime. LOL. I love him dearly, but man o man I have learned what patience REALLY is.

I say go for it, you can start at the 3 days and increase if you feel he would benefit from it. Dont feel guilty, sounds like he'd LOVE it! And with the time you dont have him you can organize the house which give you more quality time when he is home, all the while he is in great care having fun!

[Quirky]

I would definitely take the spot, it sounds like a great place, and you have until the fall to make a final decision. Especially once newbaby comes, both you and your ds may be glad of the preschool - you so you can have some 1 on 1 time with newbaby, and him so he can make some friends and have some fun playing with other kids.

Unless the deposit is exorbitant and you really can't afford to throw away that much money, I would go for it.

ETA: I am not at all a spiritual or religious person but I often find that things have a way of working themselves out and that the universe sends us signs we should pay attention to. To me, that this awesome preschool with a 2 year waiting list and a director who liked your son so much she's willing to jump him over the 2 year waiting list has a spot that just came open is a BIG HUGE SIGN.

[savannah smiles]

I, too, would go ahead and reserve the spot if I were in your shoes. I just signed my dd (who'll be 3 in October) up for a great Montessori preschool even though I don't know if she'll end up going. There's a long waiting list and at the worst I'll be out the $70 registration fee.

With a new baby in the house, your toddler may really come to love having his own "place" and making friends and you may enjoy having the one-on-one time with the baby. Good luck!

[Leatherette]

My son is three and a half, and he goes to preschool five days a week in the AM. I started out with three days, and picked him up before lunch every day, even though just about everyone else stayed for lunch/recess. Now he stays for lunch/recess. Now that I have my second, it really works for us. He has his own space and friends, and I have alone time with the baby, and we have the afternoons and school breaks and weekends together.

I think it really depends on the kid. My son is very social and likes hanging out with the five year olds. It is a small class with a 6-1 ratio. He has learned so much this year, even though there is no pushing of academics or anything. If he didn't like it, he'd be out of there.

I would say go for it.....

[oceanbaby]

Thanks for your input. I am taking dh and ds to check it out next week, as I really want dh's input.

I think I will definitely take the spot, just so I at least have the option come this fall. It's just a really weird concept for me. I didn't go to preschool or kindergarten, and it's always been so important that my children be with me or dh during their youngest years. But I really think ds would like it. I guess I'll just have to see what the situation is when September rolls around.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I think the fact that your child would enjoy it and get something out of it says a lot. If he hated it and you didn't need it, then I would say to skip it. But if he loves it and it might help with some other issues, then you should give it a try. Personally, I have needed preschool as childcare because I work PT. My DS loves it and frequently asks to go to school even on "Mommy days". So maybe I'm not the person to give advise because I haven't felt a speck of guilt or qualm about this at all. But in the end, isn't it about giving our kids what is best for them, not necessarily what is best for us?

[Piglet68]

Moving this to Learning at School...

[hjohnson]

My son is 18 months and he is on a waiting list for pre-school. I talked to the director on Monday and she said there are two spots open so it looks like he will be going to pre-school in September. I wasn't going to sign him up for pre-school until he was 3 but with baby #2 due at the beginning of September, I thought that would be a good way for him to get some social interaction and a good way for mommy to just have some time with baby #2 two days a week. DS loves interacting with other kids.