A suggestion I made....

[mocha09]

I made a suggestion in the suggestion forum that this board be unavailable to guest viewers (so, you would have to be an MDC member to read this forum).

Here is the link. I'm sure the mods would appreciate more than one opinion on this (than just mine), so please chime in for them, and state how you feel about this (whether you agree with me, or don't agree with me, I think it's important to be heard).

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...00#post1414000

[dreadmama]

That is a great idea. Not only would it give freedom for women to express their true, and very personal issues here, but it would also prevent our exs (often violent) from finding us! I hadn't even thought of it before. I'll post on your other suggestion thread as well.

Thanks,
Karen

[wemoon]

The only thing is that any schmo off the WWW can register here and then be a member, yk? It really doesn't make anything secure just by having it be no guests allowed.

[brusselsprout]

I posted on the thread too....thanks for letting us know it was there....

[magnoliablue]

mocha, wemoon is right.. making this forum only open to MDC members will not make it any more difficult for someone you do not want to read your info to not gain access.. I know this first hand , as do some of the other members..especially since MDC has no fee to join, anyone can gain access. I still suggest only expressing what you would be just as comfortable IRL expressing.

[wemoon]

I agree as I had the same thing happen to me. Fortunately, it was on a forum I owned and I kicked off everyone I didn't know and closed the board to no access to anyone new.

[mocha09]

I appreciate all of you giving thought and time to respond to this.

A lot of good points were made.

Yeah, I know there is no such thing as "real security," and that any sense of security would be false. Anyone who really wanted to read ehre could.

I was more thinkign about the casual web surfer who just comes across this. I get a little creeped out sometimes thinking that I dont' know how many people really come in here and see this stuff.

Anyway, it is a public forum, and we all knew that from the start, so I'm happy for us to just be as we are.

Cynthia graciously offered, as a solution, that if anyone ever wants to post something very sensitive or private, to let her know, and she will let them post it under a "guest" user name so they can remain anonymous. I think this is an excellent compromise.

[Dragonfly]

I wonder if the admins would be open to the idea of having a certain number of posts before being able to access this forum. Maybe it would be too hard to work out. I know that other boards do this, though. That way, even a registered member would have to establish themselves *somewhat*. Even if the required post count was only 20 posts, at least it would give the rest of us some idea of who was reading about our lives.

[wemoon]

I was going to say something like that. It would be good for those who are going through some serious problems to have the ability to vent it out and not worry about the world reading it esp a vindictive X. Like keep single parenting open but another private forum for those who are established posters, like dragonfly said, 20 posts or something like that. Then we can still talk about many things on the open board and reserve the posts that are sensitive for a private board.

[magnoliablue]

Dragonfly, that is a great idea. I also think Cynthia has made a generous decision in letting very sensitive issues get posted anonymously. I could not imagine having gone through what I have this past year and a half without the support I got on here, and everyone should feel comfortable posting his or her stories and recieving the great advice everyone shares.

[mocha09]

I sent a PM to Jish and Piglet a while back about the possibility of having members meet a posting requirement (x number of posts) before begin able to post or view on this forum, but got no response.

I'm guessing this might be technically difficult to fenagle, and there may be fear that the exclusiveness would trickle to other forums and cause a lot of conflict.

I know that these boards are volunteer run, so I am just grateful that they are here.

I *do* still like the idea of a post minimum. Maybe you could suggest that in the other thread?

[wemoon]

Yes, I'm sure it would trickle to other boards, so they may want to avoid that...but lets face it, there are definitely topics that are very sensitive to discuss, whether it is something single parenting related, or abuse related or miscarriage related etc etc. Most of the forums I post on have an open board for single parenting and then a closed one for those who meet a min post requirement, just so that everyone knows that it isn't an X trying to ruin your life.

[Jish]

Mocha, you sent me a PM then deleted it before I could read it. Piglet is listed as a mod for this board because it is a sub board of PI, but I'm the mod. Piglet sent me a PM letting me know that you had PMed her. I told her that you had PMed me too, then deleted it. We decided that you must have changed your mind so I didn't contact you. I don't think that either of us realized that she was listed as a mod so she contacted me. We decided that since you had deleted your pm to me that you must have had a reason you didn't want me to know what you wrote, so I didn't contact you. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I have a personal feeling on this, but I'll keep that to myself for a while.

[mocha09]

Jish, you're right. I forgot that now. I did un-send it, after I sent it to both you and Piglet, because the one I sent to you and the one I sent to Piglet were worded differently, and I thought the one I sent to Piglet was worded more coherently (I have a hard time with coherence sometimes!). I was planning on re-sending you the more coherent one, but obviously, I did not! Sorry for the mis-info I sent out, and thanks for clearing it up.

[Jish]

Don't feel bad, I'm rarely coherent. I just didn't want you to think that I had ignored you in not replying to you. I just had a baby 8 weeks ago, and he doesn't like it when I try to nak, or hold him while I'm typing. Thus, I've mainly been reading lately and not posting. I don't want you all to think that I'm not around anymore. I'm here, just lurking most of the time. Hopefully I'll be able to post more again soon.

The little one needs me again.

[mocha09]

Happy Birthday, Roo!!!!!!