if i'm going to have to send my dd to kindergarten...should we do preschool?

[Colorful~Mama]

We're discussing this at our house. My dd will be 4 in August. She will most likely start public kindergarten the following year. I'm probably not going to be homeschooling - its a long story -

anyway, my sister and friends and well, just about anyone is telling me that she really 'should' go to preschool maybe two days a week half days for next year to get ready - so kindergarten won't be a total shocker.

what do you wise women think?

[oceanbaby]

Well I am not wise nor experienced in this area at all, but that's not the reason I would put my kid in preschool. I am considering preschool for ds this fall just because he seems awfully bored at home, is craving more interaction with kids his age, and every time we have visited one I have had to drag him out of there.

I am still not sure I am going to send him, but I don't believe in sending them to school just to prepare them for school. I think formal schooling starts too early here anyway. I just don't buy into the idea that you can be behind when you start kindergarten. If she doesn't know her alphabet or her shapes or whatever she will learn them when she's ready anyway.

[Quindin]

4 in August? I would say that Preeschool 2 times a week would be VERY good for her. It is fun playing with other kids. My 4 year old LOVES doing projects and playing in preschool twice a week.

I kept my daughter home when she was 4, and when time came for Kindergarten she was "not ready for all the school universe yet"... Ot at least they told me she was not ready academically (!!!) I was so mad... how can you NOT be ready for Kindergarten??? I thought they were supposed to teach you stuff there...

I will never know whether going to Preeschool then would have helped her, but I think that it would at least have been a good fun experience for her. Like a big playgroup or something.

My daughter will be 6 in June. She has been going to pre-K for the last 10 months everyday (3 hours a day). She LOVES it!! At home, I have been taking it easy and only teaching her stuff when she asks for it or has a question.
I would never do well with homeschooling - believe me. But every once in a while she shows interest for numbers or letters and I just show her how to. After 1 year of "playing school" - as she calls it - she now can read simple words and do basic math!! Well, turns out they said she is ready for 1st grade and can skip Kindergarten all together - so somehow, "playing school" has helped.

[cinnamonamon]

I would research the kindergarten you are planning to send her to. In this area, kinder is ALL day! A friend told me horror stories when she went to her son's school after his first week at lunchtime (he begged her to come see)...All these little 5 year olds who couldn't get their juice boxes open, etc..their pants unzipped when they had to go to the bathroom, their shoes ties, .... the lunch ladies would do it once (rudely) then tell them they "weren't their mommy" and better do it themselves! I've also heard that to *start* kinder you are supposed to know your numbers, letters, name & addy, colors, etc -- what ever happened to kinder being to prepare you for school?!? Now they are doing worksheets and parents are being told their children have behavior problems if they don't stay in their seats for hours, etc. Ridiculous!

Ahem...sorry, off on a tangent, I know. But if the kinder in your area does have a lot of classroom like rules, it might be wise to introduce it to your dd beforehand to acclimate her.

Good luck!

[phathui5]

I read somewhere once that a teacher told a parent she could really tell the difference between kids who went to preschool and ones who didn't.

"The preschooled kids know how to line up better," she said.

[Viola]

I sent my daughter to preschool twice a week this past year. It was my husband's idea and I was not too thrilled with it, but then since I was going to be having a baby, I thought maybe it might be a good idea. The first month was very hard. She was the type of child who didn't like to be in another room of the house from me, and she always wanted me to stay at the school with her. The first day she was fine, but it got worse from there, and she would state very firmly on Tuesdays and Thursdays that she didn't want to go to school. But she would get ready and get in the car even so, and I was usually able to convince her she didn't completely want to stay home because there was something going on (field trip, pizza, show and tell). I told her that if at the end of a month she still didn't want to go, we'd quit. By the end of the month, she had a good friend she always looked forward to seeing, and she would run in and barely look back. So she did get used to it, but it took a few weeks. Now she loves it and gets upset if for some reason she can't go.

My personal feeling from things I've heard from others is that being ready to go to school is more a developmental thing and going to preschool really isn't necessary. I've heard several stories of children who had never been away from their moms, but went right into class on the first day of kindergarten with no problems. I also heard a story about a little boy who hated preschool and never wanted to go the entire time he was there, but he loved kindergarten and couldn't wait to go. That was someone my sister knew, and she has 6 children herself. Only the first 2 went to preschool, and they are the two that ended up dropping out of high school. The other 4 had no problems starting kindergarten when they were ready (5, almost 6), and are all doing well in school. So I really don't think preschool is necessary, although in my daughter's case she really likes it and I think it has benefitted her. She wants to be doing stuff and she gets to play with other children and do crafts, more than I can provide for her to do, I guess.

[katt]

We, all 5 of us, never went to pre-school. (i'm oldest of 5) granted, we had plenty of interaction with peers just by being home. But... I remember kinder. was not all day. At least, I think that is so. I do remember being VERY excited to start school and learn how to read so I could read to my brothers' and sisters'.

I also started school at 4 and graduated with my class 13 years later.

So, I don't see pre-school as a must have. I think it depends on you and your child.

[oceanbaby]

Just wanted to add that I didn't go to preschool or kindergarten, and I ran into first grade without ever looking back at my mom! No problems acclimating at all (and ended up graduating with honors from a prestigious university).

I agree it's about what's right for an individual kid. No one will ever convince me that preschool is necessary (although my MIL tries). But I think it can be great for some kids. I am going to take the spot that is available for the fall, but whether or not I end up actually sending ds has yet to be seen. I have to wait and see how things go with baby number 2 arriving in July.

[A&A]

She needs to have some social experiences with other kids, but it doesn't have to be preschool. A church group, playdates, etc.

Academically, I don't think kids need preschool.

[MPJJJ]

My son will be 5 this fall. I waited until mid Jan to enroll him in preschool, one because I was afraid of the germs and flu, I wanted to wait until flu season was almost over, and 2, because I just didn't want to let him go.

His first day I was all prepared to stay all day, but he turns to me and says "you can leave now." He LOVES preschool, they go 4 days a week, 9-12:30, and he really is learning so much. He has one best friend there, and plays with all the other kids, so he will have friends when he starts kindergarden. I definately would try it, if your DC doesn't take to it, you can always pull her out.

[Sweeney]

I think it depends mostly on the child (temperment and desire)and on the kindergarden you will eventually send s/he to (pre-requisites for Kindergarden- what next?).

Our local Waldorf school has a Parents and Tots program which is alot like preschool, only the parent attends along with their child. That seems like it would be a gentle transition.

If it helps I went to preschool, and none of my sisters did. We've all achieved academically and there's not much difference between us.

[HoneymoonBaby]

I never went to preschool, but my mom taught me letters, numbers and reading before I ever hit kindergarten. I got plenty of socialization from playing with the neighbors' kids. When I entered kindergarten, they tried to skip me into second grade because I was so advanced compared to my peers -- I was so upset the first day when all we did was learn about the letter C. I had learned everything I wanted to know about the letter C YEARS prior. You can prepare you kids for school better than any preschool. Your child doen't NEED preschool.

[Colorful~Mama]

nods. thanks for the replies ladies. To clarify Zoeys been in playgroups since she was 5mos old so she has a nice circle of friends. We have that big playgroup and a church playgroup that just started. there was another group in between but thats now gone, but the point is we go to at least one playgruop a week so there is social interaction there. Plus i babysit two kids part time (2 yo's) so they come play and its like playgroup here every day. At least once a week we go to a friends house also, or a friend comes here to play - theres no absence of kids and playing going on. Its more of the structure stuff I am concerned about. Sitting still at a desk, following a teachers rules, lining up and all that.
She's 3yrs 9mos -knows her colors, shapes, animals etc. and she counts to 20 in english and 10 in spanish (thanks dora). She knows her alphabet and can recognize which letters are which and some of them the sounds they make. And she writes her name.
not only am i a bit concerned that she know how school 'works' but also that she have some time away from me. The only time she's away from me now is once a week for an hour in Sunday school (which i guess is some practice at school now that i think of it). But an hour once a week is different from 3 hours every day. And our schools have gone to full day kinder now - i think its still optional by request, but most of the kids are going full day? will have to do some catch up reading. Last i read in the paper was that the full day was passed but would be optional.

I know there is a Christian preschool my friend used this year for her son and really liked - said it was Christian without being 'overkill' lol and you could send as often as you wanted. It was $6/hour and her son went twice a week 3.5 hours a day 9am-12:30. Thats a lot of money for us too - $42/week is $160/mo or so. We just added in health insurance at $500/mo to the already strained budget so i want to make sure if we send her and have to come up with that cash that its going to be a good thing for her.

she's mentioned that when she's four she wants to go to school like her big sister, but she's not begging or adament that she go. ya know?

thanks for the replies. keep them coming? i'm really interested in everyones thoughts on this while i continue my research.

[Tracy]

Ds will be 3 in July.

We are signing up for 3 days a week preschool. 9-12:45. I think he is ready for it and if it seems too much or overwhelming I'll cut it back. but we're going for it this fall.

tracy

[beaconlighthero]

colorful mama I think you are doing pretty good. If your child was not in play groups and you could not work with her I would say send her to a preschool. But since it sounds like she is doing so well I think it's all up to you and your child. If you think she could get more out of preschool than go for it. I don't know if you want to mention it to her and she thinks she would like to go a couple of days, maybe you could leave the decision up to her, but don't push the issue. (I don't think you would anyway).

My cousin did not go to preschool , but in his situation he just had his brother and sister to play with and my son, so he really has'nt had any friends who were'nt related to him. He kind of has a hard time interacting with other kids, he's kind of a bully. I think in my cousins case it would have been good for him to go to a pre-school. My aunt would not even put him in sunday school at church, so he had no sort of a play group outside of family. My cousin is going to repeat kindergarden, because he is a smart kid, but needs some work in areas. I think that is good that he is being held back, better to do that then to always be falling behind.


Go with your own gut feeling, you know what is best for your child. I did'nt go to pre-school when I was little and I did just fine in school, so I think your child will be fine either way.

[beaconlighthero]

:

[Brookesmom]

[QUOTE=Sweeney]
Our local Waldorf school has a Parents and Tots program which is alot like preschool, only the parent attends along with their child. That seems like it would be a gentle transition.
QUOTE]

Wow Sweeney, that sounds like a really neat idea.
I'll have to consider that when DD is 4.


I think it depends a lot whether your child is just 4 or almost 5, and their temperament. My neice is quite shy and was 5 3/4 when kindergarten started and didn't go to preschool. But for her, she needed the extra time at home before leaving mommy for 1/2 day K.

My SIL did the homeschooling kindergarten curriculum with her instead of preschool and it worked out really well for them. She is finishing up kindergarten now and has really loved it.

[4under6]

My two oldest are late summer babies, and this past year the first entered Kindergarten after just having turned five. No preschool. Loves it, and does remarkably well.
#2 will be five this August 9 and will be going to Kindergarten this fall. No preschool. I think he will do well, too, but I worry a bit more about him. Not quite as social as his sister, but I think that's just due to the lack of playmates his age in our area.

[4under6]

I also wanted to add that I myself skipped Kinderagrten and went right into the First grade when I was 5. I am the youngest of 5, and had teenage brothers and sister who taught me to read by age 4 1/2. I had no preschooling either, and couldn't WAIT to get to school every day!

[BathrobeGoddess]

I would look into what your local school considers a child to be when they are "Kindergarten ready." I would say that preschool isn't required but can be a great and wonderful exsperience that your child remembers forever. Alos, I think your consern about having your dc away from you for several hours is valid. Preschool is a great way to address that in a less demanding place than a public kindergarten.
It is also very imporant to remmeber that the climate of education NOW is very differntent than when we were chldren. Kindergarten was created to that transition step off from home life to school but now children in kindergarten are often exspected to read by the end of the school year. I don't advacate this, as a matter of a fact it fllies in the face of much of the research on early childhood education and what is important for the children.

One of the other teachers at my school says she is on a mission to save kindergarten.