if i'm going to have to send my dd to kindergarten...should we do preschool? - Page 2

[witch's mom]

No preschool for my younger DD, who's 4 and will start kindergarten just after she turns 5 this summer. My older DD went to preschool when she was 3, wasn't ready, cried a lot the first month, but we kept her in thinking it would help her be better emotionally prepared for kindergarten. (As others have posted, academics are easy to do at home.) It did not help prepare her emotionally for kindergarten--she cried for the first month of that, too, and it was only 3 hours a day. She did grow to enjoy preschool, just as she grew to enjoy kindergarten. It was more her nature than anything else. She's just very reserved about new situations. But maturity has helped her tremendously in this area. Now, nearly 8 years old, she weathers new situations with great aplomb--very cool and calm--but she has told me she still feels a little tight inside when there's lots of people she doesn't know.

Little DD is much more socially gregarious and is not at all reserved about new situations or people she doesn't know. Jumps in with all her heart. Still, I see no reason to put her in preschool. She'll be a young kindergartner, and I think age 5 is soon enough to ask them to negotiate large groups of children in settings where supervision is not always all I believe it should be. She's also very sensitive, and she manages her emotions much better the older she gets. I'd like her to be as mature as possible before she's in a situation where she must handle her feelings without Mommy or Daddy or sister, where someone who doesn't know her intimately might speak in a tone that will upset her. Overprotective of me? Sure. But after seeing how big DD has grown to manage her emotions in nerve-wracking situations, I believe very strongly in waiting til they're old enough to enjoy it from the very first day. Especially something like school, which is going to dominate so much of their lives from kindergarten on. We're preparing little DD for kindergarten in other ways, including a little homeschooling, lots of play groups, an art class where she sits and follows directions for 90 minutes with 8 or 10 other kids, a gym class where she's expected to wait her turn and stand in line and follow directions. It's a very personal decision, I think, that has to be driven by your child's needs and personality.

[girlzmommy00]

I'd try and find a way to find out more about the kindergarten in your district and what they are going to be expected to know starting the year.

JMO but I think this is more of a regional thing. Kindergarten varies so much from state to state and even just town to town in my area. I live in an area that the kids who were not in some type of educational program the year before they start (I'm wording it that way so that could apply to a homeschooling preschool approach the year before or actual preschool outside of the home) are at a disadvantage when they start kindergarten.

We live in a neighborhood with tons of kids that the girls play outside with daily. So my 4 year old is definately exposed to tons of social interaction with kids of all ages, but I did see a big change in her after she started preschool (thankfully a positive change). In her case, the actual school environment was benefitial to her since she has learned a lot but also gave her a taste of school and more of the social aspects of school and having a teacher. Thankfully our kindergarten program here is just 1/2 day, and her preschool now is just 2 afternoons a week. We've had a lot of family crap this year, so I think that the slow transition to school will be helpful for her emotionally as well (she had the 2 1/2 days now, next year will have 5 1/2 days and then move to full day in 1st grade).

I also found it interesting that Lauren acts completely different in preschool than at home or with her friends. She's usually extremely outgoing and feels free to voice her strong opinions. Though at our first preschool conference, her teacher described her as quiet and sometimes a little shy. I actually laughed out loud and asked if she was sure she was talking about the same child. Just wanted to throw that out as another factor to consider. Sometimes children act very differently in school than at home or with friends. My oldest was the opposite, quite shy, sensitive, and reserved at home, but very outgoing and friendly at school. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't visited her class so many times.

I really think it depends on your child, what their needs are, and your kindergarten program as well. I think it would be hard make an absolute statement that all kids either do or do not need preschool.

I also wanted to mention that a few districts in our area, offer a transitional kindergarten to first grade program. It's geared for the kids with the summer birthdays who come close to the cut off. It's a 2 year program and helps to address some of the different needs that the younger children in kindergarten may deal with. Lauren's birthday is in August and she'll be going to kindergarten in the fall but she has 3 friends with Sept birthdays and none of them will be starting this year (most of the cut off dates here range from Sept 30 thru Oct 31, and some even into mid Nov, since our school year does not start until after labor day). That is the other big debate in my area, whether or not the kids who are close to the cut off dates should go that year or wait until the next year.

[Piglet68]

Wow, don't know how I missed this thread....have to move it to Learning at School.

[Kirsten]

First, at risk of being flamed, don't feel like you need to apologize for not homeschooling. This is a very liberal board but not all of us do all the of the AP things. Everyone does what feels best to them.

More on topic, I would send your child to preschool next year. It is not about academics; it is about socialization and practice in the school setting. A lot of people seem to be saying that their child gets socialization in playgroups or with neighborhood children. I agree; they do. But that is not the same situation as 16 four year olds learning how to function as a class. The child who goes to preschool learns (as they are playing and having fun!) how to sit in circle, wait their turn, raise their hand, respect others' feelings and property, line up, take direction from a teacher, break into groups, become comfortable being in front of a group (show and tell, etc.) AND that they can be ok away from mom and home! I think that (risk of being flamed again here....) may be the most important one. I am not suggesting that they are little adults or that they don't need you. I am saying that it is wonderful to see the pride they feel when they do it "on their own". When they can go, have fun, work out problems - without mom. A loving teacher (I would never go to a preschool that didn't have a loving teacher!) and in our case (co-op) eight moms (the occassional dad or grandparent or aunt) are there to help as they learn how to deal with sharing issues, etc.

I would go with a play-based preschool because I agree that they don't need to be focusing on academics this young. I would run from any preschool (or elementary for that matter) that was doing worksheets on any regular basis. Don't give them a photocopy of an apple - give them a real apple and let them touch, smell, taste it.

As you check out preschools (during class), you will see how they are run and get an immediate gut feeling. Many will bother you in some way - don't dismiss that. Find the one that you love. The one that just feels right and you are not worried about leaving your child - you trust the teacher and love the program.

Kindergarten is not the dress up and playdough and blocks that it was 30 years ago. Preschool is that now. Kindergarten is much more like the first grade that we knew. Preparing your child to be successful in kindergarten by sending him/her to preschool is a gift to the child. Plus it is fun! If it isn't fun, you are at the wrong place. That is not to say there may not be a transition period or a time when your child is too tired to go. But in the high majority of cases, he should be thrilled when he hears that it is a "school day". Co-op preschool is a nice transition (for the child and for the mom) from home with you all the time to school.

And to finish this novel (sorry!) I have to say that I would really go with 1/2 day kindergarten when the time comes. Full day is too much for most 5 year olds! It is not about academics - your child could be brilliant - it is about how long of a day they can reasonably be expected to do. My summer birthday dd1 had a hard time because she would get tired and her frustration tolerance would dive. In general I would always vote 1/2 day but my dd's school doesn't offer it at all.

Good luck deciding. There is a preschool out there that is a perfect fit for your family. We love ours.
Kirsten

[leafylady]

Preschool sure wouldn't hurt, if you find a good one that your child would enjoy. Do your public schools do any kind of early screening? Some around here do them at 3 and 4 years old, to help identify early problems and to help parents how to prepare their children.
Our public school offers a public preschool for 4 yr olds, 2 full days a week, that my son will start this fall. I figure he'll meet local kids and find his way around the school- a very small rural school. I'll have a better info base for deciding between public and home schooling.

[berryMO]

I'm not pro at this yet, but my friend opted not to do preschool then talked with the school about doing half-day kindergarten. She calls it "partial enrollment". It worked great since all the accidemics are done in the morning and they do stuff like quiet time, nap time, story time, etc.. in the afternoon.

You could opt to keep her home one more year and give her a good firm base in your own families value system and then talk to the school about doing half days for part of or all of the school year depending how it works.

We did homeschool for K and it was very hard on Mom
I've talked to the school and they are actually going to let me do half days "partial enrollment" for first grade.

[thoesly]

I'm late coming to this thread, but I just attended the parent orientation for incoming kindergarden students, and I had a few thoughts while I was there. First, I should tell you that my kids have special needs. One of the blessings of that is that I get to opt out of the panic over what my son "should" know. He's talking; he's potty-trained. Everything else is gravy. It also means that I spent most of the meeting observing other parents since much of the information simply didn't apply to my son.

One thing that was apparent was that using your own preschool-kindergarden experience as a basis for comparison will not be helpful. Things have changed in the past 10, 20, 30 years. Books that were previously used in 2nd grade are used in kindergarden. Kids will be shown how to use a pencil the first day of school if they don't already know, and paragraph writing will begin around January. Many of the poor parents looked dazed and scared.

My son has been in a fabulous preschool program for the past two years, and even though he has autism, I suspect his preschool entry will be smoother than it will be for some of the kids who have never been in that type of environment. Incoming kids need to be able to line up (as previously posted), pay attention, and focus in a structured environment. My son has trouble with all of that, but he will have support, and the stress involved is a familiar stress for him.

I'm not trying to tell you whether or not you should do preschool. If your child handles new situations and transitions easily, it's probably not "necessary," though it may be fun. But where preschool takes its time to ease kids into academics and focuses more on social skills, kindergarden has to rush things (college entrance requirements bump up high school requirements which has a domino effect down the line).

Again, this is just my view from the window seat I occupy (not divorced from the system, but not really a part of it, either). But it's the view I got tonight.

Hope this helps,

Tara

[Colorful~Mama]

The child who goes to preschool learns (as they are playing and having fun!) how to sit in circle, wait their turn, raise their hand, respect others' feelings and property, line up, take direction from a teacher, break into groups, become comfortable being in front of a group (show and tell, etc.) AND that they can be ok away from mom and home!

These things were/are my concerns honestly. I really appreciate all the replies. We've got our house on the market so once we sell and move (staying in the same general area, just need a 4th bedroom basically) we'll figure out if/where to send her. I like the idea of just 9-noon twice a week to see if she likes it. She's also requesting to go to vacation bible school at church this summer. It will be 9-12 mon-fri ! she's never done anything like that so i'm guessing what happens that week will be a good indication of whether or not she'd enjoy preK.

thanks everyone for your time in answering