Morning IssuesThis is usually the worst time in our house, too. I can't speak to how to deal with an older child, but I can say that for my 2.5 year old, it's really obvious that he's using stalling tactics to try to keep us with him longer. Today, he actually voiced his desires. "NOOOO! I don't WANNA go to school! I wanna stay HOME! I want you to stay with me!" Oh baby, man I would like nothing better today, but I have to work. I worked really, really hard this morning on maintaining a calm and soothing tone and used the choice/consequence thing earlier mentioned. He wouldn't brush his teeth and so Daddy wound up having to do it for him.
However, I'm sure he's picking up on all the sh** between Daddy and Mama (he crawled into my bed around 3 AM; Daddy is sleeping in the living room these days) and I know it's bothering him. I had a talk with my husband last night about being aware of it and making every possible effort to be patient and loving and reassuring towards DS right now. He agreed, but his choice offerings this morning were all done in a very frustrated, you-don't-really-have-a-choice kind of way this morning. Several times I stepped in to try to help the situation stay calm and finally DH bit my head off. I understand his frustration, but I hate that he's not looking at it from the poor child's point of view. If I hadn't bi*ched him out here, I'd tell him to read this thread. As it is, I'm sending him to the previous one.
Anyway, back to the morning thing.
Shonah - I don't know if you already do this, but would it be possible to build an extra 10 minutes into your mornings specifically to give your DD time to change her mind about something. Maybe you could plan it out together. I'm thinking something like this: "Shonah, we have 10 minutes before we need to be out the door. I know that sometimes you like to change your mind about what you're wearing/taking with you/eating. I'll set a timer for 5 minutes and you can use that time to think if there's anything you want to change. When it rings, then you'll have 5 minutes to make your change. After that, we're out the door, no matter what." That would be too complicated for my little guy, but I'm wondering if it will work for you and your DD? Also, IO'm working really hard right now on trying to catch every single, tiny little positive thing and praising my son for it and using it as a springboard for the next thing. "You did such a good job cooperating on getting dressed this morning! Thank you so much! I bet you can do an even BETTER job with your teeth, don't you think?" It's exhausting, but not as much as the fights are!