Never plan on getting married?

[Satori]

Please tell me I'm not the only one who does not plan on ever getting married? I mentioned to another co-worker I was thinking of having another child and she about flipped and went into this whole tirade about how I should get married first before I even think about having another one. I honestly have no desire to get married and even growing up my fantasy may have had the house and white picket fence but never was there a husband in the picture!

[griffin2004]

Satori,
You are indeed NOT the only one who never envisioned marriage for herself. I've never pursued it, it's never pursued me, everybody wins. A married lifestyle is not one I would thrive in; for those who would, fabulous. I've always felt that there is SO much societal pressure to marry, that many more people do it than probably should (and I think the divorce stats support my belief).

That being said, is it harder raising my daughter alone? Dunno since it's the only way we've ever been. Every lifestyle has its pros and cons. To each her own. Celebrate the differences. Let's see, are there any other cliches I can use here... ;-)

I congratulate you on knowing your own mind and living your life to your own specifications. Hurray!!
--Trish

[wemoon]

I know I didn't want to marry X. We were together for 6 years with 2 kids and I wanted nothing to do with marrying him. I think I could go for marriage if the right person comes along, but the only thing that marriage does is gives legal status to things such as social security and other things like that. It helps with your taxes and just other non-important things.

[L.J.]

I'm all for a long term committed relationship with the right person.....should that opportunity present itself.....but I don't plan on ever re-marrying.

This does freak people out. When I say that I don't think I'll get married again, they say things like, "Oh, you're just hurting right now, that will change!" It's not about me hurting, it's about me being clear about who I am and what I want.

[brusselsprout]

I'm here too...I'm all for a nice, comfortable, drop by each other's houses any time, don't have to plan cuz we know we're hanging out this weekend kind of long term relationship, but I am perfectly content to not have a man in my home ever again.

[Holland73]

It is funny because in Holland, most couples do not marry. Having a "registered partnership" has the same legal obligations as being married...at least in Holland. Hence, why most couples do not marry, as there really is no need, legally speaking.

But, if you go to another country, like the US, and your partner is in hospital and needs an emergency surgery...you, the registered partner, will not be recognized and cannot sign permission forms.

Will I ever get re-married? I can never say never, because life has proved me to that you truly NEVER know.

[Satori]

Wow, here in the US a registered partnership is pretty much only for gay couples till we get this whole "marriage" mess straightened out. I never thought about it being used in the context of a stright couple.

[AnnMarie]

I probably don't count because I've already been married twice, but I NEVER, EVER want to get married again. Maybe eventually I'll have a boyfriend or maybe even a live-in boyfriend, but not married.

[Holland73]

Originally Posted by Satori

Wow, here in the US a registered partnership is pretty much only for gay couples till we get this whole "marriage" mess straightened out. I never thought about it being used in the context of a stright couple.

Yeah, I know...I am an American. In Holland, where I live permanently now, the registered partnership started out as a way for gay couples to receive the same benefits as a married couple...but Holland is very equal and liberal, so the practice was opened to everyone.

Although, gay couples can also get married in Holland. Holland, I should say mostly Amsterdam, is the most gay-friendly country/city in the world!

[dreadmama]

I don't think I will ever marry again. In fact, I don't plan on dating ever again... but this may change in a few years. I have noticed that I am more true to myself and enjoy life so much more when I'm not in an intimate relationship. I'm enjoying focusing on myself and daughter and developing the beautiful relationship that we have. I like not having anyone else to worry about dealing with. I also don't plan on having anymore children. Instead, as a Preschool Teacher, I get to help raise other people's children! What a blessing.

Peace,
Karen

[mocha09]

Originally Posted by dreadmama

I have noticed that I am more true to myself and enjoy life so much more when I'm not in an intimate relationship. I'm enjoying focusing on myself and daughter and developing the beautiful relationship that we have. I like not having anyone else to worry about dealing with.

Me too!

[EnviroBecca]

I plan on never getting married, but not because I don't want a man in my life and in my home--it's our tenth anniversary today! We love our relationship and don't see any reason why we should register it with the government. Sure, we have faced some hassles of drawing up legal paperwork for things that would be automatic if we were married, but this way we had to THINK about exactly how we want our legal situation to be, and we can change any part of it if we ever decide that a different arrangement is better. Some people have suggested that knowing we can change things makes our relationship "insecure", but we think that shows how insecure THEY are! Our relationship is not based on a legal contract; it's based on deep love and trust of each other. I know he's not going to disinherit me behind my back, not because the government forbids him from doing it, but because I TRUST HIM.

One of my cousins said I would change my mind about marriage "about 20 minutes after the pregnancy test comes up positive". Well, it's now been 20 days since the , and my joy in unmarriage is stronger than ever!

Check out the Alternatives to Marriage Project for some resources and support for unmarried families.

[L.J.]

Originally Posted by dreadmama

I have noticed that I am more true to myself and enjoy life so much more when I'm not in an intimate relationship.

I have found that my life story, to this point had been to give away most of myself for the relationship. I am now working to figure out how I can be true to myself and enjoy life while being in an intimate relationship.

I've been dating a guy a little bit & have noticed my initial tendency is to act & react as I always have.....but then I stop & re-evalute and I have consistently chosen to do something different & new. So far so good.

[arthead]

I don't have any desire to marry either. I definitely want a baby or two, actually I see my future self with three babes. I'd LOVE to have one naturally & then adopt two, maybe siblings. & I'd like a mate, the one I've been with for the past eight years is amazing HE wants a wedding but understands that I just don't. Sounds selfish, but I wouldn't even do it for him. And I'm not sure why, isn't that crazy?!

But, no, not even a remote desire for marriage. Nothing against people who want it for themselves either, all love is awesome... just don't want marriage for myself.

[mommi]

Originally Posted by dreadmama

I don't think I will ever marry again. In fact, I don't plan on dating ever again... but this may change in a few years. I have noticed that I am more true to myself and enjoy life so much more when I'm not in an intimate relationship. I'm enjoying focusing on myself and daughter and developing the beautiful relationship that we have. I like not having anyone else to worry about dealing with. I also don't plan on having anymore children. Instead, as a Preschool Teacher, I get to help raise other people's children! What a blessing.

Peace,
Karen

me too!


I am new and few days ago I read a post saying someone just moved to Austin and was looking for Single parent group, just can't rememer the name. There is a austinsingleparent group in Yahoo, you can find it. it is new and hope it what's you are looking for

[mommi]

Originally Posted by dreadmama

I don't think I will ever marry again. In fact, I don't plan on dating ever again... but this may change in a few years. I have noticed that I am more true to myself and enjoy life so much more when I'm not in an intimate relationship. I'm enjoying focusing on myself and daughter and developing the beautiful relationship that we have. I like not having anyone else to worry about dealing with. I also don't plan on having anymore children. Instead, as a Preschool Teacher, I get to help raise other people's children! What a blessing.

Peace,
Karen

me too!


I am new and few days ago I read a post saying someone just moved to Austin and was looking for Single parent group, just can't rememer the name. There is a austinsingleparent group in Yahoo, you can find it. it is new and hope it what's you are looking for

[Gentlegreen]

I think getting married would be fun, I just don't want to be married. Wedding, fun, life ever after, nahhhh. Like many who have posted on this thread, I wouldn't mind a kindred male spirit in my life, I just don't want one in my house. That would be a burden.

I have been on my own for several years now and truly enjoy my freedom and independence. There have been more than a few married friends who have told me that they envy my mateless life as it seems so simple and uncomplicated, even though I have two kids, no child support, a full time job, and I homeschool! The stresses and aggravation of going it alone truly are, to me anyway, much less than the alternative.

No marriage, nope.

[dirtlovinmama]

Me too, absolutely no interst, desire, guilty feeling I should be or any remote fantasy about marriage....no way. I am being true to myself and my daughter and do not need another person to be "whole" or be a "family"....I love me just the way I am and know that the two of us will be blessed without the stress of a potential ex...( sounds like a single mama rap tune)

Namaste

[Julie May]

Homeschooling while working fulltime?

"I have two kids, no child support, a full time job, and I homeschool! The stresses and aggravation of going it alone truly are, to me anyway, much less than the alternative."

Hello! I am a single mother by choice with a two year old daughter, and I am hoping to get pregnant again this summer. We are organic, whole-foods, no vax, no sugar, no dairy, yes extended breastfeeding and family bed. My daughter is splendid. I work full time, four ten-hour days. My only regret in being a single mother is that I am not able to homeschool my child. HOW are you homeschooling while working full-time? Kudos and curiosity! Maybe I can too!?

[Satori]

I was wondering the same thing! I can barely find the time to do the laundry much less home school