Ready to quit physically, but not emotionally

[Izzybee]

I wanted to BF dd until she was 2, but at this point, I'm ready to quit all together. I've been trying like crazy to increase my supply by pumping every 2 hours, and I'm getting 2 oz total, from the whole day. She only nurses in the AM - we've had problems in the beginning, and she was always switching btwn breast and EBM, and since Xmas it's been BF in the Am, EBM and formula ( :Puke ) throughout the day.
Is there any hope for me at this point? I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.

[Heavenly]

Cut out the bottles. That is the only way you will save your bfing relationship. Get an at the breast supplementer ( www.lact-aid.com ) and give all feedings at the breast. Nothing makes me sadder than hearing of moms who have to supplement and just give bottles and then the child starts refusing to nurse. There is no need to give bottles at all. Yes it is a little difficult to learn at first but when you persevere it just becomes old hat. And yes I have extensive knowledge on this because I had to use one at almost every feeding until 11 months when she started solids and then 3-4 times a day until 13-14 months and then twice a day until 17 months. At 17 months we finally became lact-aid free. Did I like using the Lact-aid? Hell no! Do I appreciate the fact that it let me keep my breastfeeding relationship? You bet! You have to make a decision - are you willing to do whatever it takes to keep your daughter on the breast where she deserves to be or do you want an excuse to quit and a pat on the back for trying? I'm not trying to be harsh and I'm sorry if it sounds that way but it CAN be done, it truly can, and it is so worth it. My daughter is 18 months now and I FINALLY have a normal bfing relationship. It was a long hard haul but I am so happy to be here. She nurses whenever and wherever she wants and I can just nurse normally. It's wonderful and I can't imagine had I quit - I would never have had this. You CAN do it!! If someone like me who gets stressed really easily (I have bipolar) and had postpartum depression and many health problems, and oh I forgot thrush 12 times, can do it then anyone can!

[3girls1boy]

I am not clear on why your daughter is only nursing in the morning. Does she refuse to nurse the rest of the day, or do you just feel you don't have enough milk? Remember that pumping is never going to give you an accurate picture of what a baby can get out of you. You might feel that your breasts just don't feel full (which happens as babies get older), but remember that most of the milk is produced as your daughter nurses.

I have pumped milk for my kids for the two nights a week that I am at work, and I found that when my baby reached around six months, I had a hard time pumping much at work. But I still had plenty for them when they nursed. Now my youngest is 3 and I couldn't pump a drop, but there is milk for him whenever he nurses.

Also, does your daughter eat solid food? Because many babies at this age are eating quite a bit of other foods and don't need as much milk. Does your daughter drink from a cup? Anything else you give her to drink aside from directly from your breast could certainly be given in a cup. (A nine month old should be able to learn to use a cup quite easily--mine started around 6 months. Also, my kids couldn't figure out how to use those "no spill" cups. Just a regular sippy cup worked well for them. It's just a bit messier. BTW I was also told once by a speech pathologist that kids who use those "no spill" cups for too long can have speech problems.) Then she needs to satisy all her sucking from you.

I don't know your health status, or your baby's, but if you are both healthy, but I have a feeling if you just keep putting her to breast as much as possible that you will do just fine.

[eilonwy]

T I don't know your story, but... is there a chance you could be pregnant? Cause all the pumping in the world won't increase your supply then.

[Izzybee]

I've been BFing and pumping, and I am on birth control - the other kind, the ones that are ok to take while nursing - and unless they're not as effective, than there's probably no chance of being pregnant.

She will latch on at other times during the day, but usually for less than 30 seconds. We're both perfectly healthy, etc.

I didn't even know that most of the milk is produced as she nurses, which makes me feel better. But that also makes me nervous, because I feel like I never know exactly how much she's eating.

I'm just gonna keep trying the good old natural way I guess, I've got nothing to lose!

[wombat]

So your baby is about 8 months. They can get really distractible then. Between 6-9 months my dd gained less than 1 1/2 lbs. It was so hard to get her to nurse for long. A quiet dark room, in the rocker or lying down helps. I had hell weaning my dd off bottles at the start - it took me until 16 weeks before we could exclusively BF. So I wasn't about to offer her bottles when she got distractible. I'm sure if I had, she would have taken them because she would have been able to continue looking around, crawling, exploring things while having a bottle.

By 12 months though my dd seemed to get over the worst of the distractibility and actually seemed to become more interested in nursing.

You could try gradually cutting out the bottles and formula. As she nurses more, your supply should rebound. After you've decreased the bottles a bit, you could try having a nursing weekend/honeymoon.

A friend of mine was still giving a supplemental bottle to her baby at 7 months. It took her a while to get the confidence to stop it but she finally got rid of it. It's not too late.

[eclipse]

you might try a nursing necklace to keep her interested at the breast. i got mine from www.lorisnursingnecklaces.com and i love it (well, i have several). it really helps keep my 11 month old focused at the task at hand. a dark, quiet room helps too.

also, even if for whatever reasons you continue to nure only in the morning, that one feeding a day can continue until you and/or your daughter are ready to stop. good luck!

[3girls1boy]

I was thinking about how you said your daughter will only latch on for about 30 seconds--I wonder if that is because she has gotten used to the instant flow of a bottle and she doesn't realize anymore that it can take a few minutes of sucking before the milk really starts flowing. This may be why she nurses better in the morning, because when your breast is more full, the milk starts flowing sooner.

Your supply is probably a bit down at this point because she is not nursing so often, and you shouldn't cut out the supplements cold turkey. (A Lactation Consultant may be helpful in devising a plan to wean off the supplements.) You might want to keep latching her on a few times in a row (as long as she is willing) and hold off on giving her something else right away. Do you sleep with her? If you don't, you might want to try that just for a while because I think 1) the more you can encourage her to nurse, the better and 2) I think just the physical closeness can help up your milk production. Also, I have found that Mother's Milk tea (by Traditional Medicinals) really can help increase your milk. I have a friend who because of hormone imbalance has trouble producing a full milk supply and she said that really seemed to make a difference for her too. (I just thought of something else: Have you ever gotten your thyroid checked? Low thyroid can cause low milk production and sometimes the symptoms are so subtle, you may never know there was a problem.)

And as someone else said before, even if you just continue nursing her once a day, she is getting a lot of benefit from that. I get the impression it may be all of the pumping that is getting you down, and as I said before, a pump can't do it like a baby can, and even if you have a top grade pump, they do lose effectiveness after a while.