Maybe you will all hate me for this, but...
I admit I have had critical thoughts about SIL and BIL for having 6 children. I have never *said* anything to them, but their children are not well adjusted. None of them get the attention they need, the oldest daughter is a surrogate mommy for the younger ones. The baby was even calling her "mommy" instead of SIL for a long time.
For them I think having 6 kids is more about the number and the attention. "We both grew up knowing we wanted a big family...." type of thing. Well thats great, but at the same time you need to consider whether you have the time, energy, money, and patience to deal with it. You have to consider the children you already have and how having another will affect them. I think they just wanted a lot of kids and did it and expect extended family and friends to do the work, and now their kids are suffering.
My MIL is over there at least 20-30 hours a week "helping" while SIL surfs the internet or "has time to herself."
A huge part of the reason it bothers me, is that not only are the kids neglected, their mom & dad take a "weekend getaway" at least 2-3 times a month, and leave their kids with family/friends. SIL has a list by her phone of emergency babysitters, people who have said, "let us know if there is anything we can do" and she adds them to the list. Fine....except she takes advantage of people. (HA! You won't find MY name on that list!)
She has the nerve to call me when I'm laying on the bathroom floor for hours on end with morning sickness wondering if I can take 4-5 of her kids for an afternoon, "because she's tired." Sorry honey, but you made your bed. It would be different if it were once in a while. She offered to help us move last year, and I said, sure...so instead of coming over to help, she dropped off four kids, ages 2-8 to "help". So then I ended up babysitting while trying to clean for the move. And she had a nice afternoon to herself doing some shopping.
Her kids are not anywhere near well-behaved. I think they are incapable of talking in a level below a shout, they whine, cry, beg, tattle, jump on the furniture, and expect to sit in front of the TV for hours on end. As far as I can tell, except when MIL is over there, there is NO parenting going on.
On the other hand, I know a family who has 8 children, and they are all happy, well adjusted and well cared for. They don't have a lot of money, but they get by.
I think it just depends on the parents. DH and I would like to have at least 3-4 children....around here that is not a HUGE family, just average. If you have more than 4-5 is when people consider it a big family.
I admit I have had critical thoughts about SIL and BIL for having 6 children. I have never *said* anything to them, but their children are not well adjusted. None of them get the attention they need, the oldest daughter is a surrogate mommy for the younger ones. The baby was even calling her "mommy" instead of SIL for a long time.
For them I think having 6 kids is more about the number and the attention. "We both grew up knowing we wanted a big family...." type of thing. Well thats great, but at the same time you need to consider whether you have the time, energy, money, and patience to deal with it. You have to consider the children you already have and how having another will affect them. I think they just wanted a lot of kids and did it and expect extended family and friends to do the work, and now their kids are suffering.
My MIL is over there at least 20-30 hours a week "helping" while SIL surfs the internet or "has time to herself."
A huge part of the reason it bothers me, is that not only are the kids neglected, their mom & dad take a "weekend getaway" at least 2-3 times a month, and leave their kids with family/friends. SIL has a list by her phone of emergency babysitters, people who have said, "let us know if there is anything we can do" and she adds them to the list. Fine....except she takes advantage of people. (HA! You won't find MY name on that list!)
She has the nerve to call me when I'm laying on the bathroom floor for hours on end with morning sickness wondering if I can take 4-5 of her kids for an afternoon, "because she's tired." Sorry honey, but you made your bed. It would be different if it were once in a while. She offered to help us move last year, and I said, sure...so instead of coming over to help, she dropped off four kids, ages 2-8 to "help". So then I ended up babysitting while trying to clean for the move. And she had a nice afternoon to herself doing some shopping.
Her kids are not anywhere near well-behaved. I think they are incapable of talking in a level below a shout, they whine, cry, beg, tattle, jump on the furniture, and expect to sit in front of the TV for hours on end. As far as I can tell, except when MIL is over there, there is NO parenting going on.
On the other hand, I know a family who has 8 children, and they are all happy, well adjusted and well cared for. They don't have a lot of money, but they get by.
I think it just depends on the parents. DH and I would like to have at least 3-4 children....around here that is not a HUGE family, just average. If you have more than 4-5 is when people consider it a big family.
I look very young (the usual guess is still around 17), so when I went out without the kids, I always got "is this your first?" I LOVED to see the look on their face....and the mental backpedaling....when I said "No, this one is my 5th 
"
We are selling our home and will downsize to something smaller and give up my car and buy something with some of the proceeds from the house. It will be a huge financial adjustment for us.
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