Feeling guilt about schooling...

[Dragonfly]

I apologize if this isn't the proper place for this post. I wasn't sure where to put it.

I'm a single mama and will be getting out of school in 2 years - about the time that ds starts school - with a lot of debt that I'll need to work to pay off. I'll also need to work just to support ds and I. This means that I won't be able to homeschool.

I'm feeling a lot of guilt about this lately, because ds is the sort of person (read extremely active and intelligent) that could end up having problems in a public school. Nevertheless, I'm trying to come to accept that school is going to be a reality for us and part of this is by trying to look at the positive aspects of schooling outside the home. In my down moments, though, I have trouble remembering them.

For those of you with children who are schooled outside of home, can you maybe clue me in to the positive aspects? Why does it work for your family? What do you like about it? How do your children benefit from it?

Thanks in advance...

[LoveBeads]

I've never considered homeschooling for a nano-second. I really don't want to have that kind of a relationship with DD that I am the authority figure in her life for pretty much every single thing. I have tremendous respect for people who make the choice to homeschool, I don't think it's a bad choice at all, it's just definitely not for me.

For us, DD has learned that there are other adults that she needs to listen to and learn from. She has met lots of kids, some admittedly are not great influences but the majority have been wonderful. She is learning the skills to negotiate life in a social structure that I cannot control for her and so far it is going well. There are moments that she is frustrated but she is able to discuss them with me and work them out.

School offers her the social and intellectual diversity that I just cannot offer. Interestingly, I have also learned that DD will perform differently for a teacher than for me - when I had her tested for sensory issues, I was absolutely astounded at the things that she was able to do when I was not present. I never would have guessed that she could draw a face with features (pupils, eyes, eyebrows) since she has never even drawn a smiley face for me. I have asked her to draw faces and she would prefere me to do it since I do it "better" (we've had lots of discussions on what "better" means). When pressed to do things out of my presence, she is able to perform in a way that I would never have imagined.

I am nervous of course about the social things that will occur (especially for girls) but I plan to keep a close eye on things and hope for the best. I am raising her with the most solid values I can muster and I can only hope that she will take that with her.

[daylily]

It seems that no matter what you do, you feel guilty. I'm a mother of 4, 3 of whom attend public school. Next year, I'll be homeschooling the two youngest and keeping the two oldest in public school. I've noticed that when I mention I'm homeschooling, some people immediately give me a long list of reasons about why they can't homeschool. I sense defensiveness, and I suspect they're feeling some guilt too, which isn't necessary.

There are good things about public schools and sometimes I feel guilty for pulling dd out of school. When I see her playing happily with children of different races and backgrounds, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. My older kids have access to superb music and arts programs through their schools. Next year, ds can take a free after school fencing class at his school. He's so excited about it and I know I can't afford to provide the fencing lessons or the music lessons or the art lessons that my older kids want.

We've also met some wonderful people through our association with public schools.