I read Holiztic's post this morning, and have been feeling bad for the rest of the day - not that you said ANYTHING wrong, Holiztic!!! I think I'm having a "But what about ME?!
moment, so sorry if I'm a bit needy...
Anyway, I found this thread, and managed to read the whole thing (whew! that took some work! oh wait, should I not call it "work"?!) about a month before dd (my 1st baby) was born at the end of July, and ready TCC during the month of August, and so love the overall concept that I've been trying really hard to implement the ideas presented with dd. Now, we already had a crib and stroller and pack 'n play, but between TCC and some other reading I decided to go with cosleeping (family bed), and the pack 'n play only got used for the attached changing table, so it's in storage now, and we haven't used the stroller at all, we baby-wear instead. I spent the first 2 months of dd's life with her in my arms or, if outside, being worn (she wouldn't let me wear her in the house, she wanted to be held). This meant that I could do NOTHING around the house. I could barely feed myself, sometimes dh had to feed me!, and often went for more than 8 hours without using the bathroom because I thought I shouldn't put her down but she wouldn't go in her wrap unlesss we went for a walk. When I would give her to dh when he got home so I could pee or rest my arms or eat something, he would almost always have put her in her crib or in her floor gym/mat (a gift) or bouncy seat (another gift) by the time I came back, which would piss me right off. But then, I started noticing that she LIKED playing in her floor gym or watching the mobile over her crib (it IS a cool mobile, I like watching it myself) once in a while. In fact, sometimes when she would cry this would be what she wanted, so, I started putting her in there, too. Over the past couple of weeks (dd is now 3 months as of 2 days ago) we've even gotten in a routine of her playing in her gym and then watching her mobile every morning after we get up while I have a cup of decaf and a yogurt. In the afternoon we nurse and cuddle/nap a lot, do yoga together or I massage and bathe her. When it's cool enough (we're in Florida) we go for a walk. It just seems wrong to "containerize" her, but she's not unhappy; in fact, she WANTS to be put down sometimes... and then I worry I'm being too "child-centered," but she's only 3 months old...
I dunno, I'm just a first-time mom who is home alone all day, over-tired (dh does not help w/the over-night stuff), and worries too much and is looking for a little support/validation, I guess...
I knew I wanted to be "this kind" of parent long ago (AP, NFL, CC). We bought our king latex/organic cotton/wool bed while pregnant in order to have a family bed. We told all our baby shower guests "no baby holders please". BUT at 3 days old, with DS crying all night and me deathly (I mean that literally) afraid to go to sleep (I thought I was going to die in my sleep and leave DS), I was ludicrous (well, close to it). My mom brought over a mechanical swing (a really nice one, I guess) and said "I know you don't want to do this, but just set it up and then see what happens." I said no, no, no. He needs me or DH, all the time. He's 3 days old. It sat (assembled) in our room for a week. By the end of the week I was a wreck. One morning at about 4 am DS was crying and nursing didn't help (nor anything else we tried). So I (delirious) put him in the swing, moving it as close to my side of the bed as it could possibly go. I then fell into a deep sleep (first in a week). When I woke at 6 am and he was peacefully sound asleep in the swing, I lost it. Full blown panic attack. Heart racing, room spinning, etc. I thought I had just given my son up to the Devil or something.
Well, I got over that. Used the swing until the anxiety wore off (so I guess I lied when I said we never used a baby holder!!! Sorry! I truly forgot!) But that's the whole point of my post here, to tell you that 2.5 years from now you're going to have such a world of (great! I am sure) parenting under your belt that these little things (a bouncy seat occasionally, a play mat? really!) are not going to define your parenting at all. AT ALL.
BTW, I did not wear DS all day while I made butter and mucked the horse stalls He often laid on the bed next to me while I read a book. DH and I did a lot of the "now you hold him" thing in the first 6 months so the other could get work done, what little work we actually did at that point! My CCing really started at around 1. We were AP before that, which informed our choices regarding sleep and on demand nursing, but the CC lifestyle kicked in around 1, when he could walk and started to communicate. Honestly, in those first months--just love your baby and go with your gut. Really!