or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Continuum concept (ish) Tribe
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Continuum concept (ish) Tribe - Page 43

post #841 of 1092
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBug View Post
Most hunter-gatherer cultures had a great deal of leisure time. In warm climates, it usually only required a few hours a day to get food. When we became agricultural, we had to work far harder and had very little time.
This is pointed out in the book "Our Babies, Ourselves". Anyone read that? Pretty interesting. It gives a lot more examples of other cultures than TCC.

Are there any good used bookstores around in Berlin? I would imagine there would be tons of them. Maybe TCC is there?
post #842 of 1092
I am frustrated I don't have time to read all the past posts. I read Our babies ourselves right after TCC. I feel like they are almost companion volumes. also, I was an anthropology major before kids, and one of the things we learned was tha in the hunter/gatherer societied the work week was about 40 hrs. The rest was spent in leisure. Also, domestic violence does not exist in pre-agriculture societies. In hunter-gather culture men,women, and children all contribute to the survival of the group, however in agrarian cultures, the burden shifts to the men to feed the family and so does the power and resentment. I have always found that interesting. SH** rolling downhill starts with farming.
post #843 of 1092
Near as I can tell, farming also marked the beginning of larger-scale human-caused environmental damage. It's not about raising children, but "A Short History of Progress" by Ronald Wright is a very interesting look at our cultural evolution and why many cultures and groups of people died out.
post #844 of 1092
Checking in...
post #845 of 1092
Checking in too..feel I need a dose of this after hanging out with too many 'child-centred' moms lately. It's hard sometimes to hold onto the concepts when I start to feel a bit guilty for not giving DS my undivided attention as these moms seem to do 24/7... But then it's so great, lately, seeing how Ds is happy going about his business 'dusting' the floor with our feather duster, packing and unpacking the drawers in the kitchen, and even wiping spilled water with a tea towel! at 14 months

I seem to have made it through the transition from the 'in-arms' phase to now, early walking stage, and it's interesting seeing how it all unfolds. Especially the way DS seems to bump his head and hurt himself less often than some older kids I see, perhaps because I haven't hovered over him in his explorations. Still, the guilt thing comes back to haunt me, and a few pages back in this thread I see someone else brought it up too - the worry about not giving enough attention or just being somehow neglectful. Adults often talk about feeling they wish their parents had played more with them or given them more attention, and I worry that I'm going to be one of those parents, somehow.Yet being child-centred just feels so wrong to me.

I like what a PP said on this thread, though, about interacting with your child just as you would with another adult friend - so not feeling you have to talk to them constantly, or make faces at them or whatever. I find that helpful.
post #846 of 1092
I'm just joining this thread. I hope to have time in the next few days/weeks/years to read through the whole thread. I'm afraid to read the book, because every parenting book I've ever read has made me feel incredibly guilty about things I have/haven't done with my kids. But I do love the idea of the Continuum Concept from what I've read online and would like to learn more about it from you ladies. I'll be seeing you around.
post #847 of 1092
Quote:
Originally Posted by becoming View Post
I'm just joining this thread. I hope to have time in the next few days/weeks/years to read through the whole thread. I'm afraid to read the book, because every parenting book I've ever read has made me feel incredibly guilty about things I have/haven't done with my kids. But I do love the idea of the Continuum Concept from what I've read online and would like to learn more about it from you ladies. I'll be seeing you around.
We are all on a journey. It isn't necessary to spend time worrying about what we could have done differently. I'm sure you did what you thought was best at the time. I continue to grow and change as a parent and a person, which is a wonderful thing! Keep learning, and keep growing, and don't worry too much about the past.
post #848 of 1092
This one will freak you out if you didn't do a ton of babywearing!!
post #849 of 1092
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enudely View Post
This one will freak you out if you didn't do a ton of babywearing!!

post #850 of 1092
I am so glad to have found this tribe! I haven't read the thread but I am 3/4 of the way through the book and absolutely thirsting for more information! I want to go visit the Yequana (or some tribe), and at the same I want to throw my DH in a river with some cement boots for how opposite he is from CC. How in the heck can I turn this ship around?
post #851 of 1092
Bumping so I can find this thread again as I continue to read it.
post #852 of 1092
Quote:
Originally Posted by leila1213 View Post
I want to throw my DH in a river with some cement boots for how opposite he is from CC. How in the heck can I turn this ship around?
Let him read some of the book. How about the part about the newborn's experience in mainstream parenting? Not sure I could read that one again...:
post #853 of 1092
Quote:
Originally Posted by Materfamilias View Post
Let him read some of the book. How about the part about the newborn's experience in mainstream parenting? Not sure I could read that one again...:
Unfortunately it's not a question of "letting" him read it. If I want him to read it, I will have to read it TO him. We are going to each make a list of 3 things we want the other one to do as our Christmas presents, and him listening while I read it aloud is going to be at the top of my list.
post #854 of 1092
I'm going to read every post on this thread, but not tonight. A friend of mine just lent me TCC, and I read it in two days. I am so thrilled. It is exactly what I've been looking for. My two biggest annoyances with other "AP" parents is their overprotectiveness (which runs rampant around here) and the adult behaviors that go along with being child centered. I play with my son for sure, and love it, but this book helped me realize how happy he is when I am doing useful things, like getting wood for the woodstove (which he loves, "more WOOD, more WOOD" he chants) and baking, cleaning, etc. I am so excited I found this. Will post more later.
post #855 of 1092
I have so many posts to ask of you all that I'm sure they won't all get answered. But here's a quick one: I babysit as my "job/work" and take DD along with me. I usually only watch one other child at a time, usually at their home. How can I make this time less child-centered without getting myself fired? The only thing that has come to mind is to clean the house. Any other ideas?
post #856 of 1092
Quote:
Originally Posted by leila1213 View Post
I have so many posts to ask of you all that I'm sure they won't all get answered. But here's a quick one: I babysit as my "job/work" and take DD along with me. I usually only watch one other child at a time, usually at their home. How can I make this time less child-centered without getting myself fired? The only thing that has come to mind is to clean the house. Any other ideas?
How about:
* Baking
* Making lunch and dinner and any snacks
* Doing the dishes
* Doing household oriented crafts - you knit, they play with chopsticks and
yarn and pretend to knit.
* Refurbishing old objects by scrubbing them, painting them. For example, dd and I found a desk by the side of the road, washed it and painted it together. It is now in her room.
* Cutting things with scissors. Maybe bring coupons?
* Going for unstructured walks outside
* Going for "hunts" outside to bring back things for seasonal crafts and displays

If you babysit occasionally and the other child is not used to this approach, you could construct it like an activity - "hey, I'm going to bake, would anyone like to help?" When dd is feeling left out, I sometimes find that an invitation to participate in my work is what she needs.
post #857 of 1092
Just want to point out something that is helpful for me to think about when worrying about how to be more CC in our lives... I'm not sure I'd say you should make up things to do out of thin air. Adults should do what adults need to do to function in our society. That is the point of CC really at its heart, not trying to concoct natural-sounding or frontier-sounding chores that you don't really need to do just to find some busywork to involve your kids in. I think the key at integrating CC into a modern lifestyle - and by that I mean those of us who live in regular houses with regular jobs (either us or dh) in regular society (as opposed to say, off the grid in a yurt with 9000 acres surrounding us!) - is to live YOUR life as you need to. For me, that involves going to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, washing and drying laundry in machines, loading the dishwasher, etc etc. It's okay that these are modern things, and they are just as valuable for my kids to participate in as grinding corn on a limestone wheel or fetching water from the stream or whatever, lol. Furthermore, it would be just as preposterous for me to try to teach my kids to wash laundry on a washboard or make a hat out of tree bark, as it would be for a tribal mother in say the Amazon to worry about whether her children are getting enough experience operating machines.

So... in summary, when thinking "what can *I* do with my child that is CC?" you can ask yourself instead "what is it I need to do today" and then do it... with your kids participating or not as makes sense.
post #858 of 1092
Hi, I'm new here.

I read the Continuum Concept several months ago- perhaps it's been a full year. I haven't "followed" it per se, but it has inspired much thinking about the way I parent.

Have you run into CC inspired moms who seem to take it a little too literally, or show unwise judgement, and then use CC as an excuse?

I had a friend (I stopped seeing her because I just cannot stand being around her because of the way she parents) who would trust her 2 year old to stay out of trouble when it was not even in the child's control. For example, one day I saw her in the parking lot buckling her baby into the carseat, and on the other side of the truck stood the 2 year old, alone. I was alarmed. I called out a good natured "Your kid's going to get herself run over!" and she said, "Oh, she knows not to cross the red line (fire lane)."

Okay, that's great that the child has shown some understanding of the rule. But this is a parking lot. Drivers can't always see a child in their mirrors. Red line or no red line, a car could easily just back into the child, swerve to avoid a pothole and hit her, etc... Countless scenarios went through my head none of which had anything to do with the child actually doing anything dangerous. I kept an eye on her until her mother came around to her side of the car.

I thought it could have been handled in a safer way, without disrupting her continuum. She could have put the 2 year old in the car while slinging the baby (who is in the sling all the time by the way), then shut the door and walked to the other side of the car to buckle the baby. This wouldn't be hovering, or overprotective, right?

She's been otherwise neglectful when there were easy, safer ways of going about things while staying with the CC approach. It ceases to be about the Concept when your children are in true, preventable danger, don't you think?
post #859 of 1092
I'm into the CC thing, but my dd lives for me to play with her!! She hounds me constantly "mommy plaaaay with mee!" She wants me to make her farm animals or her stuffed animals talk.
It gets very boring!
She was carried in a sling all the time, but she usually hounds me while I do chores!
:
post #860 of 1092
Quote:
Originally Posted by widemouthedfrog View Post
How about:
* Baking
* Making lunch and dinner and any snacks
* Doing the dishes
* Doing household oriented crafts - you knit, they play with chopsticks and
yarn and pretend to knit.
* Refurbishing old objects by scrubbing them, painting them. For example, dd and I found a desk by the side of the road, washed it and painted it together. It is now in her room.
* Cutting things with scissors. Maybe bring coupons?
* Going for unstructured walks outside
* Going for "hunts" outside to bring back things for seasonal crafts and displays

If you babysit occasionally and the other child is not used to this approach, you could construct it like an activity - "hey, I'm going to bake, would anyone like to help?" When dd is feeling left out, I sometimes find that an invitation to participate in my work is what she needs.
Thanks! I do load the dishwasher, wipe down the kitchen, sweep the floors, organize the playroom, etc. But being as I was hired as a babysitter and not a housekeeper, it is hard for me to *insist* that the family give me chores to do. :P But, I can certainly make more of an effort to find things. I'm pretty sure I can find a way to bring food that I want to make, then maybe share some with the family. And I've been wanting to learn how to knit, and one of the moms just happens to knit. So...maybe a good segue somewhere in there. The 2 year olds are pretty good at entertaining themselves, since there are lots of toys at that house, but it isn't always the most CC kind of play. (The boy I babysit is obsessed with Thomas trains and just pushes them around in a circle insessently.) We had success with playdoh today when I gave DD lots of tools to use--usually it's always "Make XX for me!! I don't know how to do it!" So that was encouraging and maybe she can model that for the other child. The infant I sit is usually pretty content watching me do things, like fold the laundry, but I just run out of things to do. I like the unstructured or "hunting" walks idea.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Continuum concept (ish) Tribe