Why supp with formula Q - Page 3

[Lucky Charm]

I have read all the posts, and am curious. I never had supply issues, ever, and when i supplemented, i didnt notice a decrease in supply. All three of my kids were nursed. Is it because i didnt supplement "that much"? a bottle here a bottle there, not to sound cavalier, but i'm wondering. It seemed like i was always nursing!

Reading the stories here, i can see now that some women would be negatively affected supply wise if they supplememented. But why are some moms, myself included, not negatively affected?

I am now sure, however, that my extreme nipple stimulation and irritation was probably due to poor latch, although at the time their latch seemed good (and i had a LLL rep come to my apartment because i was desperate).

[thirtycats]

I do want to add that as a mom who could only get 1-2 ounces out when I pumped, I do totally understand if a working mom needs to supplement. I also can imagine it is hard to pump at work!

I guess I just have trouble having empathy for a stay-at-home mom who uses formula so she can get a break. I guess it's because when I tried it, I got no break. While my husband struggled to feed DS a bottle, I'd start leaking like crazy, so I had to pump anyway.

I had problems with leaking the whole first year though....

Maybe if I didn't leak and my son happily took that bottle of formula, I'd feel differently about this whole subject. No, probably not. After, I read that book Milk, Money, and Madness I hated formula companies and hated the fact that I, a mom with a good milk supply, put unneeded formula in my child's body. But then again, if my child loved that bottle of formula...I might have avoided reading the book.

Who knows.

Dina

[Quirky]

Originally Posted by sweetbaby3

I have read all the posts, and am curious. I never had supply issues, ever, and when i supplemented, i didnt notice a decrease in supply. All three of my kids were nursed. Is it because i didnt supplement "that much"? a bottle here a bottle there, not to sound cavalier, but i'm wondering. It seemed like i was always nursing!

Reading the stories here, i can see now that some women would be negatively affected supply wise if they supplememented. But why are some moms, myself included, not negatively affected?

I am now sure, however, that my extreme nipple stimulation and irritation was probably due to poor latch, although at the time their latch seemed good (and i had a LLL rep come to my apartment because i was desperate).

Who knows? I think there are so many variables....I had to supplement with formula in the beginning after ds' NICU stay, failure to latch, small mouth, and I think my being overweight and slightly hypothyroid contributed to low supply...but I also have a feeling that even if everything went 100 percent smoothly from the beginning that I am never going to be one of those oversupply/spraying like a fire hydrant mamas. I think women are very individual in their storage capacity, the amount of milk they produce, what's going on hormonally, etc. Add to that the fact that babies are very individual in terms of their ability to latch at first, their sleepiness/wakefulness, their nursing style, etc. Throw in familial and cultural pressures (supportive dhs and family vs. not, pumping at work vs. staying at home, etc. and so forth) and you end up with a situation where for some mamas the "one bottle a day" leads to early weaning and for others it doesn't make a difference.

[GeorgiaGalHeidi]

I just wanted to thank several of the ladies that have responded with their experiences and reasons and insights-it is very touching and helpful. Every little word you said has stuck with me and prvovided me with much more insight.

[captain optimism]

In my little outlined answer to your OP, I forgot one.

My friend who had twins (big twins, too!) supplemented for one bottle at night, for the first couple of months. She also didn't find that it interfered with her supply. I think because it was one bottle, always at the same time? So I guess that later, when they were older, she just "relactated" that feeding. It was hard for her to exclusively nurse twins during those nursing-intensive months.

My dad is visiting and I was saying that I couldn't understand why people would formula feed, until my baby had trouble latching on. We had a big struggle getting nursing started. We were successful but I could totally see why some women aren't. My dad said: "You can't understand another mom until you walk a mile in her boobs."

:LOL :

[StarMama]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGalHeidi

Oh Mama! Get your stickers and shirts!

Thank you! I've been meaning to, but just feel a little nervous if someone comments on it and the bottles I have (I did use the SNS but it was a pain in the butt! So stopped when he was old enough that I thought he wouldn't get nipple confusion). I should just do it anyways, he usually only has 2 bottles in 24 hours and those are almost always at night...

[Al Dente]

To answer the OP:

to begin with my milk didn't come in and ds lost 8 oz in a wk, was lethargic and dehydrated, and I was scared not to supplement...

then I had major pumping issues and couldn't get more than .5 oz after pumping all day. I recently figured out that the phalanges were too small and I was pumping incorrectly. It's getting easier to pump.

BUT the main reason to supplement (bm or formula)? sleep deprivation. one or two hours of sleep may be doable for some. But not for me. I felt that it was more important to be a good mother for 20 hrs a day with 5 hours of sleep than an irritable, stressed, impatient one who was considering doing myself harm with 1 hour.

Unfortunately I feel looked down upon here for admitting that I must have sleep to be a good parent. It's no joke, and IMO is the #1 reason women stop bf. It all falls on her 100% of the time and how dare she admit that she's so tired she's thinking about walking out of the house and never coming back. Flame away.



edited for clarity

[Gidget]

Originally Posted by RacheePoo

Unfortunately I feel looked down here upon for admitting that I must have sleep to be a good parent. It's no joke, and IMO is the #1 reason women stop bf. It all falls on her 100% of the time and how dare she admit that she's so tired she's thinking about walking out of the house and never coming back. Flame away.

No flames here. I have had thoughts of walking out MANY times recently. Starting when I got pg with #3 and #2 was only 10 months and still getting up to nurse. How I made it though, I still do not know. I am going for a depression screening tomorrow. The bf is an indirect cause I beleive.

I say that because I have a difficult time pumping. So, I only work part time so I do not lose my supply. We are dependent on Dh income to make the bills. Mine is for the extras like shampoo,tp etc. My dh is no help at all and can at times even be an extra burden. I want to leave. But, if I do I will have to work full time to support my kids and myself, compromising my supply. Some may advise me to wean, but my son is allergic to dairy, eggs, soy and peanut. So even IF I wanted to wean, I could not.

The only thing that keeps me from leaving in those difficult times is the knowledge that it would make my life soooo much more complicated. And my love for my kids. I could never be without them.

Ginger

[MamaChel]

I did not suppliment but was under tremendous pressure to do so. Everyone from the peds office, "once he gets teeth put him on the bottle", the WIC office, "Are you sure you don't want formula JUST IN CASE?", the "parenting classes"- "Just leave him in our daycare with a bottle while you come learn to be a better parent."

Not to mention the copious amounts of free formula that magically appeared- a full days worth of formula in the "Breastfeeding success bag" from the hospital, OB and ped offices. (3 days there) the samples that arrived in the mail at least weekly for months, etc.

I think it's almost expected that all women will suppliment and the thought that some may not want to is seen as strange. I actually had a social worker tell me that my DH was "forcing" me to BF my son and I should "exert my independence" by FF. I refused.

I did feel almost like there was something "wrong" with me at times for choosing to exclusively BF- somebody was always telling me how I needed a break, or to let papa bond with baby, etc. I stay at home with a bountiful supply and no real desire or need to suppliment, I felt that those resources should have gone to someone who would use them- so I donated all my formula to my cousins, both single mamas with babies a few months older than my son who really appreciated the help. I felt it would be wasteful to do otherwise. On those occasions when I needed a break (at least once a week from about 4 months on) I pumped and DH fed my son. This system worked the best for us.

I feel sad that I had to justify my choice to BF my son to society- nobody was forcing me to do BF. If anything, I would say that many people were trying to force me to use formula against my needs and wishes. It seems counter-productive to tell someone, "We support you choice to BF, here try our formula." in almost the same breath. Perhaps- if BF education and support were more commonplace the pressure to suppliment would be lessened and more people who choose to suppliment could do so because they made the decision, not because they felt pressure to.

This has just been my personal experience from the other side of the fence so to speak. Not everybody has the support to just say no if they want to and they should. They should also have the support to make the best decisions for their families without feeling attacked about it but that is a whole different discussion.

[LinzluvsGJ]

When I started my daughter on supplimenting with formula, she was about 5 months old, up to that point if she ever received a bottle, it was breast milk expressed. As time went on, however, my pumping abilities decreased. I could pump and pump and pump and still only get about 2 oz at a time. That wouldnt' be enough to fill a bottle, and certainly not my baby. I know my daughter was getting more than that when she was nursing, but my pump just wasn't enough to express the milk at that point. So I started with formula. At first it was just every once in a while, then it became about once a day. I will tell you why I chose to do that (now I know against my better judgement but that's besides the point)-- my husband was away with the military- gone three months. I was living essentially as a single mom. I would go over to my parents house to get help, only they weren't really helping. They only wanted to hold the baby when she was sleeping (a point where I could set her down anyway), or to feed her. They begged to feed her for weeks and finally I gave in because I really really needed some down time. I was going days on end w/o showers, going for hours w/o eating properly. The only time I was able to get a little while's rest and take care of myself was if I could get them to feed her. Because my pumping at that point wasn't going as well as I hoped (though I continued that and she was given that first), I resorted to the formula.

There I said it. I don't feel like a bad mom because I did it-- I felt relieved that I did it at the time because it was the *only* time I ever had for myself. I put my baby first constantly to the point I was wearing very very thin and needed what help I could get.

[tracymom]

Originally Posted by MamaChel

I did feel almost like there was something "wrong" with me at times for choosing to exclusively BF- somebody was always telling me how I needed a break, or to let papa bond with baby, etc.

oh, I hear ya here. People thought I was doing all that with DS2 out of some crazy rebound response to the aborted BF with DS1. Yeah, okay. BOTH of my sons are nuts for their dad, breastfed or not.

[mamabeth]

Also just jumping in with my story because I do think it's an interesting question...

I supplemented because everybody, from my Bradley-friendly doc to my midwife to the ped to the lactation consultant, told me I should in the hospital. My dd was 10 lbs, 9 oz, and so everyone said I couldn't possibly feed her on my own.

Intellectually dh and I both knew we should not supplement, but after pre-eclampsia, 3 days of labor, and a c-section, we were exhausted and really, can you argue with that many "professionals?"

It set us up for some real problems with supply since we supplemented so early. DD did not need the formula and slept too much after she would have a few oz in the hospital, so was not nursing enough to make my milk come in. I only had a "full" supply at about 6-7 weeks after much pumping and constant nursing, and was still nervous about it until my dd was probably 7 months old and started eating some fruits and veggies.

I would not supplement again unless there was a proven medical problem and either would dh. We are still traumatized from the whole experience and angered that the people we trusted to support us basically set me up to fail bf, and only because I was adamant and militant did I more or less succeed. I say more or less because we did occasionally give her a few oz of formula a day, and I still feel shame about it.

Peace to all.