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tell me I'm in labor........(support thread, please) - Page 2

post #21 of 47
This might not be a popular opinion to express.... but I really think you should stop taking all the labor inducing herbs and stop trying to induce. You have no medical reason to induce and your baby needs to cook... you'd feel AWFUL if you forced the baby into the world when it is not ready, right?

Relax. Babies come when they are ready right??

I'm not negating that you're uncomfortable or anything, but it's really best to just wait right?
post #22 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimberlylibby
This might not be a popular opinion to express.... but I really think you should stop taking all the labor inducing herbs and stop trying to induce. You have no medical reason to induce and your baby needs to cook... you'd feel AWFUL if you forced the baby into the world when it is not ready, right?

Relax. Babies come when they are ready right??

I'm not negating that you're uncomfortable or anything, but it's really best to just wait right?
I appreciate your honesty.......

But I will say that is VERY negating. To be honest, I'm kind of tired of people telling me that. I'm not a first time mama nor am I ignorant of the information out there. I don't believe that my baby isn't ready.........he's ready.......I know he is. I've had an actual very good pregnancy. Also, if by chance my due date is off, it's off by a couple weeks the OTHER way so it's possible I may be nearly 42 weeks right now. The baby *is* that big.

The more I think about it, the more I think there is something to the feelings I've been having that it's time for him to come out. I went waaaaaay over with my daughter and I actually LIKED it. It felt right, I was in no hurry......but with this, the more the pregnancy goes on, it *does not* feel right. Not that I feel unhealthy, but the pregnancy gets worse and worse by the day. The physical problems I've been having get worse. And to me thats signalling the end of the road. I'm a firm believer in trusting myself and my body and I trust right now that things are READY.

Also.........when I read over this or I read similar threads, It makes me wonder about what the priority of the mama is.......I mean, I read *other* threads about other issues that come up when the baby is here and there is lots of talk about doing whats best for the baby while still maintaining the sanity of the mother. And, you know? There just doesn't seem to be an interest in caring for the emotional welfare of the mama in times like this. Theres lots of trivial talk of "Oh go get a pedicure" (which I did anyways) or "Just be patient". And thats really really kind of insulting and dismissive.

Anyways.........I stopped taking the herbs because they make me sick. Which worries me because it's my midwives main course of inducing if I were to actually go to 42 weeks with this one. I do need to look into this further rather than people just dimissing what I'm asking as me being some simple minded impatient woman.

As of this week, I'm either due or over due. We were trying for this one and so I know just about exactly when I concieved. So I know this baby is due. I know my body has taken very good care of this one. The pregnancy has been hard but not that bad........until now. With the mental, physical, and emotional state I'm in right now, the thought of just "waiting" indefinitely, potentially two more weeks, not only seems dangerous to me but would probably send me into depression.

I know your intentions are good, but trust me to know me.
post #23 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jakobsmami
i had the bug over the weekend...i'm 38.5 weeks. i got so dehydrated that i started having contrax. also from the diarrhea, i spose
at first i thought, yeah, labor, let's get this thing going! but then i figured, if it really is a bug, it'll stay for a few days and i will not be able to care for my baby, let alone go through labor and push it out. so i laid down for a couple of days, the contrax went away and the bug really stayed for a couple of days. now i'm over it and have energy for labor! gotta get the contrax starting again, but hey, i'm a few days shy of 39 weeks and sex is fun, right?
take it easy, mama, just ask yourself how much energy would you have right now to go through labor?! take a nap...
I gotta say, amen sister! I was doing a lot of walking yesterday and thought "How crazy is this! I'm going to wear myself out and not have the energy!!!!!!!!".

So, Back to just walking the doggie around the park twice a day for me.

And I WILL be taking a nap!!!!!!!! Yesterday my wonderful DH gave me a back rub to put me to sleep........aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.............
post #24 of 47
well, a big baby really isn't an indication of how far along you are. I mean it is but it isn't yk? I had three babies at 41 weeks. 8.5, 10.4 and 9.4. also, I think that life circumstances change so rapidly from pg with 1 to pg with subsequent. It is not necessarily an indication of overall pg health tht you really want that baby out. I remember how desperately I wanted #3 out!! i was sooo tired of being pregnant. I had a three week long early labor. crazy contrax all the time. actually had he midwife visit a couple of times cuz i was sure. But, when he came out, he came out nice and quick and healthy.
I do agree that emotional and mental health get tied into it, though. And that is a valid reason to push it along My friends midwife gave her castor oil. It got things going. Her midwife said sh has never seen castor oil fail in a second time mom. It can take up to 6 hours and sometimes they need a second dose, but it always starts labor. food(or drink) for thought
(hugs)
post #25 of 47
My sister also felt desperate to have her baby.... he was born extremely ill and lifeflighted with severe blood pressure issues.

Turned out she had a kidney infection and gall stones.... that was why she was so desperate to havethe baby... her pain had nothing to do with the baby....

I'm sorry if I offended you or hurt you, but I just am so anti-induction by any means after my awful induction (for eclampsia/HELLP)

And I'm not trying to hint that you're taking it lightly.... I just am quite traumatized by watching that birth (my nephew's) and seeing how a baby could be so unprepared for life.... despite being healthy in size..... so that's where I'm coming from...
post #26 of 47
anothermama- 42 weeks is considered term, not overdue. I know how it feels to go overdue but don't get too defensive about a suggestion telling you to stop with the inducing herbs. Induction herbs are not to be taken lightly, they are poisonous. If you are getting sick from them that is a great sign your body is saying the baby doesn't need them. I'd be a lot more inclined to want to know if your baby is in a position where its head isn't applied to your cervix. No one is attacking you, no one is judging you. I'm sure you're tired and sensitive and frustrated. WHen you take labor induing herbs, you deny the baby the chance to start labor with their own hormones. You create a hostile environment in the womb for the baby and you can cause complications of labor. I'm sure you know this and feel like you've weighed your options. Babies are smart and a lot of women go to 43 weeks or almost with all of their kids and they turn out fine. If you have a feeling pregnancy is over, or should be, have you midwives check the baby's position to make sure his/her head is applied to the cervix, go get your homebirth kit ready, take a long nap, and go to the acupunturist and see if s/he can't get labor started. Cohosh crosses the placenta, but acupuncture is not a drug. I know you're trying to do what's best for your family and you know best how to do that. Please just take the advice you get here asloving and friendly- the way it's intended.
post #27 of 47
Just wanted to say, hang in there.

My son was a 42 weeker. All 10.5 lbs and 24 inches of him. It was hard and uncomfortable, and really just plain awful, that last month, especially those 'extra' two weeks. He had been giving me really hard, long contractions from the first week of February, but just for kicks, he decided not to come out till the first week of March. And we tried everything, especially by week 42, with no luck. Stinker.

I feel your anxiousness and discomfort and am sending you lots of wishes for things to get going soon.

post #28 of 47
If the baby was ready, wouldn't it be here?

It's fine if anyone wants to flame me, but I don't believe in putting mother's emotional health before baby's physical health.

I am nearly 39 weeks and would like to be done NOW! But the baby is not ready. I'll try walking (since I'm supposed to be walking anyway) and sex (since it's what I'd be doing anyway, too!) but I told my mw's, nothing else. No 5W, no other herbs, etc. My first was born at 38 weeks. Doesn't mean this one is ready at 39 weeks.

I have NO signs that I will go anytime soon. No mucus. Never had a b/h contraction. Head is not engaged. Baby is still moving around a lot. Still gaining lots of weight. It's frustrating, but it's not up to me...I'm only second-in-command here. The baby is the true expert.
post #29 of 47
Quote:
It's fine if anyone wants to flame me, but I don't believe in putting mother's emotional health before baby's physical health.
you have a good point there, greaseball
post #30 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimberlylibby
My sister also felt desperate to have her baby.... he was born extremely ill and lifeflighted with severe blood pressure issues.

Turned out she had a kidney infection and gall stones.... that was why she was so desperate to havethe baby... her pain had nothing to do with the baby....

I'm sorry if I offended you or hurt you, but I just am so anti-induction by any means after my awful induction (for eclampsia/HELLP)

And I'm not trying to hint that you're taking it lightly.... I just am quite traumatized by watching that birth (my nephew's) and seeing how a baby could be so unprepared for life.... despite being healthy in size..... so that's where I'm coming from...


no sweat.........like I said, I know your intention are good and I have totally been in your shoes for the past five years......very very anti induction.

I had a very nice visit w/ my midwives today and I feel a lot better actually. and I do appreciate your input.........

post #31 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganmamma
anothermama- 42 weeks is considered term, not overdue. I know how it feels to go overdue but don't get too defensive about a suggestion telling you to stop with the inducing herbs. Induction herbs are not to be taken lightly, they are poisonous. If you are getting sick from them that is a great sign your body is saying the baby doesn't need them. I'd be a lot more inclined to want to know if your baby is in a position where its head isn't applied to your cervix. No one is attacking you, no one is judging you. I'm sure you're tired and sensitive and frustrated. WHen you take labor induing herbs, you deny the baby the chance to start labor with their own hormones. You create a hostile environment in the womb for the baby and you can cause complications of labor. I'm sure you know this and feel like you've weighed your options. Babies are smart and a lot of women go to 43 weeks or almost with all of their kids and they turn out fine. If you have a feeling pregnancy is over, or should be, have you midwives check the baby's position to make sure his/her head is applied to the cervix, go get your homebirth kit ready, take a long nap, and go to the acupunturist and see if s/he can't get labor started. Cohosh crosses the placenta, but acupuncture is not a drug. I know you're trying to do what's best for your family and you know best how to do that. Please just take the advice you get here asloving and friendly- the way it's intended.
*From what I've read, 42 weeks *is* overdue for *most* subsequent babies. Not that it's harmful, just past "term".

*Baby has been in position for a while.

*I've mentioned a few times now I HAVE quit the cohosh,ok?

*I think we need to trust women who know their bodies. I actually had a visit w/ my midwives today and suprise surprise they think I'm right......that this pregnancy is done and it's time to kick things into gear. I *knew* I felt this way for a reason.............
post #32 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
If the baby was ready, wouldn't it be here?

It's fine if anyone wants to flame me, but I don't believe in putting mother's emotional health before baby's physical health.

I am nearly 39 weeks and would like to be done NOW! But the baby is not ready. I'll try walking (since I'm supposed to be walking anyway) and sex (since it's what I'd be doing anyway, too!) but I told my mw's, nothing else. No 5W, no other herbs, etc. My first was born at 38 weeks. Doesn't mean this one is ready at 39 weeks.

I have NO signs that I will go anytime soon. No mucus. Never had a b/h contraction. Head is not engaged. Baby is still moving around a lot. Still gaining lots of weight. It's frustrating, but it's not up to me...I'm only second-in-command here. The baby is the true expert.
I'm not saying put the mothers emotional health before the babies......I'm saying COUNT it. CONSIDER it. Dismissing it is unhealthy for EVERYONE.

I'm 40 to 42 weeks. My mucus has changed, babies hardly moving at all, is likely over 9lbs at this point, head engaged, and a fair ammount of small real contrax. Difference. YOUR experience is not everyones. SOME people have a pregnancy that is *done* at 40 weeks.

I'm going to say this now as I should have said it in the begining....I wanted this to be a SUPPORT thread, not a thread where I begin to be attacked for being different than you. Not a thread where I would be dismissed or subtly flamed for trying to take emotional care of MYSELF as well as try to have a healthy pregnancy.

Luckily, my midwives feel the same way as I do..........that the physical AND emotional health of the mama is IMPORTANT to a healthy labor. Maybe read some Ina May to gain some insight into this. Mamas need their head in the right space just as much as they need their bodies to be healthy.

And.........again..........there needs to be consideration for the knowlege a woman has of her OWN body. I had been balking at going to my midwives this past week or so but I finally went in today. I was right. I knew myself. This pregnancy is pretty done. Granted, I'm back to square one because I'm not taking any cohosh or castor oil so I need to look into other other options at some point..........but things are ready.

Again.........I wanted/needed a support thread. And I respectfully ask that it stay as such..
post #33 of 47
Anothermama, Glad your visit went well. You're in my thoughts- keep us posted! and I agree, you need unconditional love and support.
post #34 of 47
hey, mama, have they tried doing a cervical stretch & sweep? Sometimes this really helps "push you over the edge" in regards to getting labor going.

Sending you lots of positive, loving vibes!
post #35 of 47
Sweeite, no matter what happens or what you stop doing, you are not at square one. Every minute that passes is one minute that puts you closer to the birth. You WILL give birth eventually, I promise!

Call your midwives if you start to just feel like something is wrong. You said that somewhere and I think you should listen to that.

Please keep us updated. I can't wait to hear the birth story!
post #36 of 47
to you!

It's a hard wait. I remember clearly. In fact, it's what I dread most about another pregnancy!

Soon, you'll be holding your sweet one and peering into his or her soft, wonderful face.

Happy birthing to you, and peace.
post #37 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pamamidwife
hey, mama, have they tried doing a cervical stretch & sweep? Sometimes this really helps "push you over the edge" in regards to getting labor going.

Sending you lots of positive, loving vibes!
Pam.......youre the best.........I bet you are such a great midwife. We've actually contemplated moving to Portland........isn't that where you are???????

Anyways..........I *think* thats what she did today.......I'm about 3cm and she kind of swept around in there, stretching things a bit, giving me some good visualizations...........it hurt like a mofo! She said she was able to get two fingers in and open them a bit and then she turned them around in circles for a bit.....sound right? It was encouraging that there is progress and they feel like things are *close* all things considered......my physical state, my emotional state, my mental state, how the baby is......etc etc. Sooooooo.........we'll see. Who knows. I've had some mild to medium contrax all afternoon but I don't want to get my hopes up too much and so I'm gonna focus on just relaxing and hanging out right now.

I kind of thought she was holding back about her guess for weight and I was right.......she's thinking he's bigger than his sister was at this point......she was about 9 1/2. Woo hoo.

Thanks so much.........you're so great.
post #38 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mothra
Sweeite, no matter what happens or what you stop doing, you are not at square one. Every minute that passes is one minute that puts you closer to the birth. You WILL give birth eventually, I promise!

Call your midwives if you start to just feel like something is wrong. You said that somewhere and I think you should listen to that.

Please keep us updated. I can't wait to hear the birth story!
Mothra..........thank you for that! I needed to hear that!!

post #39 of 47
well, I happen to think that you're - well, I'm not gonna jinx you. Just know that you're in my thoughts!

I'm actually about an hour south of Portland.

I cannot wait to hear your birth story! It's so close!
post #40 of 47
see, youre already through early labor!!
Thats how mine were. I totally understand your frustration, believe me.
Happy baby coming out thoughts
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