Originally Posted by Smithie
"I know that Mike's parents aren't thrilled that we're going forth with our family plans without the blessing of their church, so I think that explains them..."
OK, you've mentioned this weirdness a couple of times, so I hope you don't mind my asking, Rynna, WTF is up with these people? Is it one of those things where only the 127 members of the East Podunk Pentecostal Oddballs congregation will be saved from the lake of fire, and all the rest of us heathen are going to burn? Because your family sounds pretty traditional and Godly to me, what with the monogamy and the Sunday School and such. Did you guys elect not to get legally married or something? Or are your in-laws just freaks?
They're just freaks. :LOL Seriously, though. Mike's family attends a painfully conservative Christian church, and they've decided that legal marriage is the only way to be married. In PA, we have common law marriages which basically means that if you say you're married, you are. We consider ourselves to be married, but his father and sister won't accept that because we didn't have a legal or church ceremony. (My mother has never had this problem; when we told her we were moving in together she said "Oh, you mean you're getting married." I asked Mike what his parents had said about us moving in together and he said "I see no reason to discuss it with them." and didn't tell them until, literally, the day before we signed the lease.
) We didn't get legally married because we can't afford to; to put me on Mike's health insurance would make it impossible for us to live.
Ah, the Sunday school! Here's the thing-- I'm Jewish. So's Eli. Mike is a Christian, but he can't accept the doctrine of his parent's church, to say nothing of the seriously bigotted remarks which we have heard coming from the Preacher's mouth.
Somehow, even though he grew up in the same house as his sister, he ended up very Liberal (SIL is conservative to make FIL look moderate, and he's pretty scary himself) in his religious beliefs and his politics. SIL has spent lots of time trying to indoctrinate Eli, and she was really sneaky about it; Mike got upset just like I did and maybe even more. I mean, she was basically saying "You're not Christian enough to save your kid's soul, so that's my job." which is, naturally, more offensive to him than it is to me (and I was pretty damned offended!
) When Mike talked to her about it, she said that she wasn't trying to do anything behind our backs, which is funny because that's exactly what she did. Sorry, actions speak louder than words.
At any rate, after Easter Sunday, Mike was more motivated to find a church so that his father & sister would get off his back (they believe that if you don't go to church, you can't really be a Christian at all. And some churches are, naturally, better than others.
) and they'd stop taking Eli to church with them.
This is a *huge* issue, not so much for us but for FIL and SIL. I'm not going to convert, and I don't need Mike to convert, but I do wish that his family would respect our wishes and so does he. We've never had this problem with MIL at all, btw; she's a Christian, she goes to church and she's happy with it and active in the congregation, but never once has she indicated in any way that she's unhappy with the way Eli is being raised. She's such a sweet woman, and she's totally secure in who she is so she doesn't feel a need to force her personality on others (though she can be very effective at that, if need be). Mike told his father and sister that if they didn't back off, we'd have to stop going down there on weekends, and I'm fairly certian that a mere look from MIL would have shut them both up at that. :LOL FIL is a stubborn old man, but MIL doesn't say more than "I"m thinking about asking you to jump" before he says "how high?" :LOL It's incredible to watch, really. I've never heard her raise her voice, yet she manages to make her opinion painfully clear and get her way most of the time.
QoC, I know where you're coming from, but I have to tell you that from everything I've read, and from talking to people here, I think that one of the reasons my labor with Eli was so painful was because the fluid was gone. It really makes the contractions/surges a lot more difficult to deal with, and you'll have to contend with a potential c-section a lot sooner, or a vaginal delivery and the risk of a sick baby/you.
I really understand how you feel, I have *totally* been there, but AROM has many potential complications and the pain is one that noone can tell you about until they've done it.
I'm wishing for a soon and speedy labor and delivery for you!