Why do I make excuses!

[Emilie]

Why do I when talking to a bottle feeding mom do I make stupid excuses for breastfeeding!? I say things like well we could not afford formula - or it was just easier for me...
Like I do not want to hurt their feelings for formula feeding!
When talking to others- or especially expecting moms I have no problem speaking my mind and advocating BIG TIME- listing books to get etc....
I just can not share the same feelings with bottle feeding moms because I feel they will think I think I am better than them for bf?
Anyone else do the same! How do I say what I want with out coming off snooty?
Thanks
Em

[sntm]

no advice, but I know what you mean! it's worse than talking about money, politics, or religion.

[velcromom]

Originally Posted by sntm

it's worse than talking about money, politics, or religion.

lol! I know what you mean. I have begun to just go ahead and say something positive about it that relates to us personally so that they hopefully won't take it as a slur against themselves... Like how it kept ds out of the hosp. for dehydration several times this winter, or how much worse his allergies might be without it... not in an apologetic tone, just matter of fact. I usually find myself saying 'And I'm so glad we're nursing because....'. I like to say something casually related to bf before I even know if the mom ff or not, then I figure I've already crossed that line!

[GeorgiaGalHeidi]

If a bottle feeding mama inquires as to whetehr I am BF or still BF, I just say "of course." That gives my stance on it adequately without imputing guilt. I never volunteer the info, and if she or he asks me why I do, I will tell them all of my several reasons. It is our culture-we are so PC about not making people feel bad. But, would we do the same about smoking or obesity? We should feel free to speak our minds on the issue at hand.

[roxy]

i think it has to do with trying not to alienate people to the idea of nursing. like if we are over zealous about it, she may not do it next time or something. i'm known as a horribly opinionated person, so on the rare occasions when i think before i speak, i over compensate for my strong opinions by seeming under zealous. make sense?

the other day my sil was changing her ff dd's dipe. she made a comment about the stink, and i said, "oh, really? it stinks? i never knew that. my boys didn't stink, musta been the bm" i meant it as a dig, though. she gave up around 2-3 weeks, despite me and a hundred other girls offering to help them. so i decided to forgo pc-ness and speak my mind. i don't think we should attack the ff'ers, but i don't think we should be apologetic for doing what's best.

[Lucky Charm]

I am the only one of our friends who have nursed, except for one good friend who EBF her last child. Most of my firneds knew i nursed, and we really never said anything. I mean, i was never criticized or questioned about my choices.

It could be because they know that bf'g is best and chose not to do it, even for a few weeks (which in my mind is better than nothing, kwim?).

Emilie, dont ever feel like you have to make any excuse for any parenting choice you make. Be proud, stand tall! Youre doing whats right, and whats best for you and your baby!

Lisa

[Gidget]

You know, I have been the same way with my ff friends and it is getting REALLY old. I want to start stating my reasons and if they are hurt by MY reasons for bf'ing MY children, it is thier issue, not mine. I made myself an advocacy shirt and I was actually afraid to wear it. I did not want people to read it and think, UH, who does she think SHE is? From now on I am going to make my feelings and reasons known loudly and proudly. I do not phrase my reasons and thoughts in a way meant to belittle others. If they take it that way they are just way too thin skinned. I know I am starting to sound bitter here. I am.

Ginger

[Sustainer]

One of my bumper stickers says "Breastfeeding: It's What Our Little Ones Need From Us." I'm not going to apologize for that bumper sticker, no matter what the ramifications might mean for a mother who doesn't breastfeed. It's what I believe.

[NoraB]

i don't think we should attack the ff'ers, but i don't think we should be apologetic for doing what's best.

ITA!!!!!!

I knew a woman, a casual aquaintance, that used to make comments every time she saw me nursing. She'd say stuff like, "Not every woman can do that," and "Some women have to use formula." What the heck? I never said anything to her to bring on the comments, just nursed my DD. I realize that she probably had problems w/ nursing and felt very defensive about it, but the comments really irritated me at the time. All I could say in reply was, "Oh."