what do you do with your baby if/when you go to church? - Page 2

[jadegirl553]

Pynki- you mean he actually stops the sermon and asks the baby's parents to leave??!?!!!?

[Pynki]

Originally Posted by jadegirl553

Pynki- you mean he actually stops the sermon and asks the baby's parents to leave??!?!!!?

Yep.. He will stop in the middle of his sermon.. Point you out, and ask you if you will leave and put the baby in the nursery or step out of the sanctuary..

Then he says jokingly.. "I'm not as cute as your baby.. People will stop paying attention to what I'm saying to see what your baby is doing.. "

Honest to golly.. He says that last part before every sermon starts, and if you have the audacity to keep your children in the sanctuary during "god's sermon" woe betide you.. He will stop the teaching and ask you to leave if your baby is coo-ing.. Laughing, crying.. Doesn't matter..

Yep.. We never went there much, and after Easter we are never going again..

Warmly..

Dyan

[mamaley]

the church i am thinking about going to has a sunday school for kids (ds is almost 4) but it's from 9-10 and the services are 8:00 and 10:15, so i guess he'd have to come. i wonder if i could contact some people from the church and ask them if it's family friendly (i'd word it differently).

[mamaley]

dyan, how awful!

[EFmom]

My church has a nursery, and you can use it or not. When they were very little (under 18 months), my kids stayed with me, but after that, they went to the nursery. Generally speaking, the kids stay in the service for about 15 minutes and then go to church school for the rest of the time. I love it that way.

I have absolutely horrible memories of having to sit through interminable masses when I was a child, and I hated every moment of it. I never found it at all spiritual, it was just an ordeal. It would suck all the pleasure out of church for me if I had to keep them there the whole time.

The director of religious ed at my church wants to have the kids stay the whole time and do church school either before or after. If they do that, I'll be in the market for a new church.

[Lucky Charm]

We have used the nursery and now Sunday school for our little guy (the older ones (almost 14 and almost 17) come with us into the sanctuary.

Parents who choose to worship with their kids are seated directly outside the main sanctuary and listen and watch thru glass. Quite a few parents worship this way, and no one seems terribly upset. Our church is packed, standing room only every single service.

[HomeBirthMommy]

I am very fortunte in being the nursery director at my church. I am quite proud of the care we provide. We have pagers that all parents must have if they leave their child. I have paid workers that I have hand picked, trained (I even provide slings) and done background checks on. They are the people that I would choose to keep my children any day outside of church.

My children are 4 and 2. When they were little, I kept them with me in church, nursed them in church and when I needed to, I took them out and met their needs. But, I sing in the choir and dh teaches Sunday School and volunteers in other jobs, so the nursery is a necessity for us. Dd#1 is now in Sunday School and then a children's church program (for 3,4 and 5 year olds) during our worship time. At least once a month, we try and get her to come to the service with us because we feel that it's important for her to know what goes on in there. Dd #2 is in the toddler nursery, where she gets short lesson, healthy snack and does a craft. They both love going to church and are always proud to show me what they've learned/made that day.

That said, I cannot stand it when a parent drops off their child who is obviously not ready to be in there without a parent. Not only is it very stressful for the child who is crying, but it is quite upsetting to the other children and takes aways from the care the workers are able to give to the other children. You would be surprised how many parents will drop off a child who immediately cries and they just say, "she will quiet down eventually" or "she's got to learn to be in here".

[~*~MamaJava~*~]

My DS goes to the nursery. He never settled well when I took him into church, just cried from the loudness. He loves the nursery. There's no way he'd stay still. Some people take their kids in, in our church, and they're fine. It's cool! Mine just would drive everyone nuts, I think, because he's really busy. I know the nursery attendants and we have excellent policies and systems in place for safety. I take my turn in there as well. And the attendants come get us if baby's too upset. He doesn't miss me at all yet, so I'm not worried about it.

[Brisen]

We have an hour long service, and then there is 2 hours of classes. There's no nursery then; we try to keep our kids in as long as possible, but we do often visit the hall. There is a nursing lounge, but I nurse babies in the chapel. Then, there is Sunday school, that is age segregated. There is a nursery for kids 18 months - 3 years, and then primary for older kids. With dk#1, he wasn't comfortable staying in there until he was almost old enough to be out. I would take him with me to my class until he was bored, and then I would stay with him in the nursery until he was able to stay. Dk#2 took to it like a duck to water when he was about 20 months. I hadn't bothered to try him in there right away, but he loves it. I know the nursery leaders, and they have rules about there always being two adults in there at a time, more if there are a lot of kids, and I always tell them where I am. I used to be one of the leaders, and I was : with some of the parents who dropped off their screaming kids. The guidelines say to try and reassure and distract the child, but if that's not working after a few minutes, take them to their parent. Most of the parents would be : with me when I tracked them down to come get their inconsolable child. One of the ladies who worked in there with me works at a school, and I guess she's been taught to make sure the kid sees the parent leaves and say bye. Oh, those parents were so mad when she wouldn't just let them sneak away! :

[Breathless Wonder]

Oh man! I read the title of this thread and thought..."Now I've heard everything! Giving birth in a church?!?!"

[phathui5]

Dd (8 months) goes to church with me. Ds (3.5 yo) goes to Sunday School.

[sagewinna]

Our church has no nursery or cry room... The Pastor didn't want a cry room, he wanted all to be welcome in the service. You can go out in the lobby area during Mass if your baby/kid is being really loud, there are speakers out there.

My littlest spends the service in the sling while I sing, either with me or her dad.

[Piglet68]

Originally Posted by EFmom

I have absolutely horrible memories of having to sit through interminable masses when I was a child, and I hated every moment of it. I never found it at all spiritual, it was just an ordeal. It would suck all the pleasure out of church for me if I had to keep them there the whole time.

Same here! I hated being dragged to church. Being made to sit still and quiet for over an hour is torture for a young, energetic child. And let's face it, your average Mass is a snoozer for most adults, let alone children. I still think the droning voice of our priest giving his homily is the best sleep-inducer I've ever known. :LOL

I don't attend church as an adult (surprise!) but on odd occasions I've gone with my mother and brought my DD. As a baby she was fine. I nursed her if she was hungry, and she was pretty content. I'd leave if she started to fuss and walk around outside the sanctuary, but that was rare. There is a sound-proof room with windows and piped in sound, but there is nothing in there except pews! So it's just as boring for the kids, and the adults in there can't hear anything over the noise. The church is somewhat child friendly, but if your kid is making a disturbance or noise you are expected to leave. I do understand this: no fair ruining it for everyone else.

I don't think church has much to offer for babies and toddlers, so if there weren't any good childcare options (some of the nursery staff are scary old ladies who you just know think crying is a great form of exercise) I'd just not go. When we are back at home, I know Mum will want us to go with her on the special mass days, and I am probably going to have to say no. DD will be way too old to sit still for that long, and there is nothing for her to do in the "quiet room". It would be a huge bore for me and DD, and my Mum would be stuck alone in the main sanctuary anyways, so what woudl be the point?

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Both my husband and I sing in the choir, so our baby goes to the nursery and has since she was about 5 weeks old. For others, most families keep non-mobile infants with them and then they start going to the nursery, though there are some who always keep their kids with them. There is no pressure either way. For a while there was a whole pew of nursing families each week, but now everyone's kids are a little older than that. Luckily our nursery workers are all well screened and trained and I always trust them. Older kids (preschool +) go to Sunday School for the first hour or so and then come down for communion and the end of the service. At that point our 4 1/2 YO comes and sits with us in the choir until the end. Soon we'll start bringing our toddler down for communion too -- but I need to wait until she understand "sit quietly" and has a fighting chance of actually being able to do it. Its a little difficult to discreetly leave when you sit in the front of 400 people!

[raleigh_mom]

DD1 (3yo) goes to Sunday School/Children's church the whole time. She loves it. DD2 is 12 mos and goes to church with me. I do spend a fair bit of the service out in the hallway, but I can hear the service from there. I get compliments from other parents, but it's the child care workers who say "sooner or later you'll have to let her just cry." Nope. I'll just keep on doing what works for us. We used to go to a church that had rocking chairs in the back of the sanctuary for moms and babies. That was pretty cool.

[Orange]

Church time coincides with our 9 month old's nap time. So DD sleeps in the sling (DH and I rotate Sundays).

[USAmma]

The church were we go sometimes has a "Baby Comfort Room" off to one side of the main santuary. It's insulated, has a crib, a sofa, and couple rocking chairs with nursing stools. It also has a speaker so you can still hear what's going on in the santuary. Babies are welcome in the main santuary as long as they are mostly quiet. There are a couple parents at the back of the santuary at any given time pacing and holding babies/toddlers. It's a great, babyfriendly church!

When my baby's a bit older and no longer content to sit on my lap for most of the service I'll take her to the nursery.

Darshani

[Foobar]

WE don't take Goo to normal services. We only go to Tot Shabbot, which is once a month. She loves it. It's jsut for kids and she listens to the stories and she gets an introduction to Jewish prayers here. There's only child care during the high holy days, and those are the only times we would go without her.

I don't think she is yet ready for a full service. That's why we love the Tot shabbots!

I also don't think it is fair for us to disturb others if we know she isn't ready to be there. That's another reason why we stick to the kids stuff. KWIM?