When do you open birthday presents?

[ShannonCC]

When does your birthdaychild open his/her presents? If "other" please explain.

[oceanbaby]

We just had ds's 3rd birthday this weekend. We decided to open presents after all the other kids left. They were all having a lot of fun just running around playing, and I was afraid that introducing the whole present thing would ruin it. I felt a little weird just taking the gifts and not opening them at the party, but the last b-day party we went to they did the same thing, and it didn't bother me at all.

I will be sending thank you notes to everyone.

[siddie]

My ds LOVES to open his gifts and I noticed that the kids LOVE to watch. It's fun. I also think that kids don't get to be in the spotlight very often so I like to make the most of birthdays. It is also a nice way to end the party on a good note.

[LoveBeads]

I've said this before but I really think this is a regional thing. I have literally never been to a birthday party where the presents are opened in front of the other kids (not saying it's wrong to do that!). So we don't do it either.

I couldn't be happier about it - I usually manage to hide most of them from DD and distribute them over time so it's not overwhelming. She's 4 so I don't know how much longer I'll be able to get away with this...

[ShannonCC]

Oops :LOL

I should have clarified This is a family party. My kids are not lucky enough to have any cousins It will be all adults so other kids are not a factor.

I just really don't like the "sit in the middle of the room while everyone stares at you and you open gifts" thing :LOL *I* don't like it. I'm a bit of an introvert and I hate all those people looking at me. So now at birthdays it's dh who sits with the birthday child and helps them open gifts and say thanks.

I was thinking about it though and wondering if we could do it differently? I don't like the present orgy thing (there are about 20 people at the party and most of them bring multiple gifts so it gets out of hand). I don't like the "don't play with that, here, open another one!" thing, yk?

And honestly I get a bit uncomfortable with everyone seeing what everyone else has given. I know there are some particular family members who are taking note of who gave what, yk?

Now that I think about it, I don't think I can get away with opening them after people leave. I think everyone wants to see the kids open the gift they got them (kids don't care usually, but adults seem to).

But maybe we could open each gift as the giver arrives? Does anyone do that?

[Piglet68]

Well, I think that when you give a gift, it's not because of the material thing, it's because of the joy of giving. So it's nice to let the giver experience that by watching the gift being opened. I voted for "open with everyone around".

However, if it was obvious that my child was not comfortable with this, then I might try something different. I think thank you cards can be a nice substitute for not being there to watch them open the gift. But few people take the time to write them.

[EFmom]

I answered Open them all at once while everyone gathers round, and that's what we usually do. I hate it (and the kids also usually hate it) when the gifts aren't opened in front of them. I think it's tacky.

That said, dd's last birthday party was at a place that is like a miniature amusement park for small kids. It was threatening rain. I had paid for all the kids to have unlimited rides, so I we were worried that if we spent a lot of time opening presents, it would rain before they could get to the rides. So, I had the presents packed up and we opened them at home. I felt tacky!

[kazmir]

For my DD's party this year she opened the presents as each child arrived. It wasn't as overwhelming and she can identify who brought each gift. Also the kids were having so much fun playing later on in the party, I wouldnt have been able to get them all seated at once!

It worked out pretty well and seems to be the norm in my group of friends.

[~Megan~]

With young kids it can really be a problem as all the kids want to go take the presents from the birthday-er.

That happened with dd at my nieces party a few weeks ago. dd is almost 2 and dn was 1.
dn opened a ride on toy and dd wanted to steal it from her so dn started bawling. It was a huge fiasco!

[ShannonCC]

Originally Posted by kazmir

For my DD's party this year she opened the presents as each child arrived. It wasn't as overwhelming and she can identify who brought each gift.

This is what I'm thinking. With the big Gift Opening Orgy my dd has no clue who gave her what. I'm thinking that if we start the tradition of opening each gift one at a time when the guests arrive it might be more personal and less hectic than it is now. All I know is I hate the way it's done now so at the least, this can't be worse, right?

[Periwinkle]

We had a big party on saturday for dd and ds' 2nd birthday. It was very casual - backyard cookout style... lots of families with kids of all ages.

Many folks brought presents. We did not open them at the party.

We wanted to enjoy being with our family and friends, and definitely did not want to communicate to dd and ds that their birthday was "all about" the presents. Besides, some people didn't bring presents, which was completely fine, and I think it would have been rude to open them, since it would have made it seem like bringing a present was a prerequisite for coming to celebrate their birthday.

In fact, we did not open any presents after people left, either. Their actual birthday is today (Tues) - and we have opened one or two at a time since Sunday. I have no desire to innundate them all at once on their actual birthday either, again because I don't think their birthday should be so presents-focused, but also because they're only 2 and I don't want them soo overstimulated, kwim? This slower pace also allows us to talk to dd and ds about who gave them each gift, and really let them explore and delight in the gift, without ripping into the next one.

I'm not sure if we'll do it differently when dd and ds get older or not (e.g, and have more traditional birthday party with their own friends invited, etc etc)... time will tell.

[sleepies]

we open them all at once, with everyone standing around.


i didn't ever think to do it any other way.

interesting post.

[menudo]

This became a big isue last year when DD was in Kindergarten. IME with family and throughout growing up, it was considered rude not to openm presents IN FRONT of the guests. I looked forward to seeing the child open the present I gave them. Now one exception wasChuck E. Cheese parties or similar as they are often timed and overcrowded and opening just is not possible.

So when DD started going to school parites I let hger choose/make preents and she couldn't wait to see the childopen the gift just to see their expression.Cake,games? No, she wanted to see the present being opened! Anbd guess what-alot of theeparents didn't open them atparties. She was so upset. It still upsets her, it i her favorite part of the party and is becoming a less common experience for her.

In discussing this with another woman, I said we always considered it rude, kinda inconsiderate if it was an in home party. Like the gifts were not appreciated. Oddly, she was brought up that it was rude to open and show off your gifts. So to each their own and it is your decision in the end!