why am i so nervous about this??! -- birth plan

[Aura_Kitten]

although i'm planning on "accidentally" not making it to the hospital (planning an unassisted homebirth, after much soul-searching and discussion w/ my SO)... i still am making a birth plan and would like to discuss it w/ my OB and get his input. i also have a lot of questions for both him, and the hospital i would be delivering at, if i deliver at the hospital.

... but... i'm too scared to actually talk to him, or the hospital, about it.

i trust my OB more than any other doctor i've ever had ~ he's excellent and always has been really respectful of both my decisions, and toward me as a person ~ but i guess since i had such an awful experience trying to communicate my wishes w/ my dr's the first time i was pregnant i'm just really nervous this time around. they treated me like i was completely inferior and never spent more than 10 minutes in an appointment with me. when i brought in the birth plan i had made up for my son's birth, the dr quickly shot it down, shooing away many of my most strongly felt desires for the birth as "unreasonable" and "stupid" (such as wanting to feel the baby's head).

my wishes for the birth this time are completely non-negotiable. i don't care what the hospital policies are ~ i want my wishes respected and i want to be treated as a person, kwim? if anything happens and i end up delivering at the hospital, i want to make sure that my will is followed, not some universal policy that they apply to everyone just because it makes life easier for them.

how can i approach this subject? how can i stop being so insanely nervous and scared about it? just thinking about bringing up the issue is freaking me out.

[Liba]

(((HUGS))) I really hope they listen!

[Foobar]

BE firm. Explain what you want and why. If they say something isn't possible, then you as why isn't is possible. If they say feeling your child's head is stupid, ask them WHY? Why can't I? (i was offered many time to feel her head during pushing. It's not a danger or anything...)

Be firm, and polite. Try to do this as nicely as possible. Getting in a shouting match won't help, but being calm and patient will....

HUGS

[majazama]

I can understand how you feel. Are you going to tell them that you are considering UC? I wouldn't if I were you. When I was preggo with my DD, I told my midwife I was considering UC, and I think when the time came for me to give birth, she felt like she had to prove herself neccessary to be there by doing things that were not really neccessary.

But if you are going to have an UC, you'll probably be fine with that, KWIM? If you have such strong feelings about even *talking* with your doctor about your birth plan, that's a sign, don't you think, that your instincts are telling you "nooooooo...".

Well, that how I see it anyways. Have you joined the UC thread yet? You should. There are a lot of women on there with a lot of good info and links etc.

[Aura_Kitten]

Are you going to tell them that you are considering UC?

NOOOOOOOOO WAY!

Have you joined the UC thread yet?

i'm not sure where it went. i posted on the most recent one i could find, a couple of weeks ago, but now i can't seem to find it...

[Foobar]

Oh goodness, don't tell them about your plan to be "too late".

[Michelle Leigh]

I wouldn't tell them.

If you have questions about your pregnancy, ask away.

If you have questions about your delivery, ask UC people. They'll give you all the support & reassurance you need. In my opinion, there's no need to ask your ob (no matter how much you love him) about it. That's not his arena.

Follow your instincts.
Follow your intuition.
Follow your heart.

You can do it.

[majazama]

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=142548 here ya go!

[HypnoBirthingMom]

I think you should follow your instincts. Trust that the questions you have are valid ones. Empower yourself that you know what is best for you and your baby. That's why you ask questions so that YOU can make informed decisions. If your practitioner does not respect your right to ask questions, that says something about him, not you. And if you discover that you need to make a change, trust in yourself that you will have the courage and support to make that change that will create the environment for you to have the type of birth that you want. Good luck! And know that you have a group of people here that care about your birth success.