November/December '02 --the latest incarnation - Page 17

[kerc]

hi mamas! I've been kinda absent. But I'm hanging in.

question for ya'll....any thoughts on this?

when we read goodnight moon to erin she always cries at the last page. she's crying and saying "bunny, sob, sleeping, sob." so we figured ok, she's empathetic to bunny sleeping. But then Friday we were at a cookout and she saw a little baby sleeping and was just hysterical. It took about 20 minutes for her to calm down.

she's been sleeping ok, but when she's woken up (early) for the last week or so she's just crying and screaming like she's scared.

I'm looking for ideas on what's going on developmentally and ways to help her deal with it.

[lilmiss'mama]

Punkprincess--- ughh! I couldn't imagine that much time with my former inlaws in my home. That would drive me nuts and we liked each other too! I have spent 4 weeks at their house though and that didn't seem bad, they weren't invading my space, kwim?

kerc- I don't have any advice, but Scarlett has been going thru a similar thing. She wakes up from a dead sleep screaming like she is having a nightmare or something. Sometimes it happens several times a night. She calms down quickly, but I am not sure what's going on.

[Mona]

nak
do a search on "night terrors" - this is what it sounds like it could be.
s

[XmasEve]

kerc, I have no experience with this, but it certainly sounds like poor Erin is terrified of the state of sleep. I can only imagine because she's had nightmares and associates that terror with sleeping. So she worries for the poor bunny that has to sleep, the poor little baby baby sleeping at the cookout, and herself when early in the morning her sleep cycles are light and she even feels her poor self in the state of sleep. (She sounds like a very empathetic little sweetheart.) All I can suggest doing is hugging her close and trying to communicate to her that everything is all right. I suffered nightmares as a child and the worst thing was having a parent brush off my fears. Let her know that you care for her and you take her fears seriously, but that sleep is actually a time of safety.

I do recall hearing that this age, with developmental, physical, and emotional leaps, is very prone to sleep problems.

[*solsticemama*]

We're back!

Mamas. We got back a few days ago and are still adjusting to time changes. It was a great trip tho not without its challenges. The flight over was pretty good since it was an overnight. We got the bulkhead and ds slept for about half of it tho not all in one chunk. We slept off and on for a couple days upon arrival. Little Mukti adjusted faster than we did--he doesn't yet have the problem of 'concepts' getting in the way of his experiential reality. About halfway thru the trip while we were still in England he got sick for the first time. High fever, lethargic, sleeping and nursing constantly, very uncomfortable, didn't eat for 5 days. It was an initiation for this mama. We had to fly to Germany right in the middle of it and boy was I kneeling to the goddess in gratitude for nursing and slinging. He spent the whole time nurse/sleeping in the maya while we waited in line etc at the airport. I felt like a goddess myself as I walked calmly thru the huge, noisy, busy international airport with my 30lb baby quietly nursing thru it all.

Once in Germany he began to recover but one of the children there developed the chicken pox. He was exposed both while she was incubating them and after she got them so we're waiting the 2 to 3 weeks to see if they manifest.

I missed all of you mamas and thought of you often. Blessings Rynna on the birth of your daughter. Mamajaza your pics are lovely. Hope all is going well for you in these last fruitful weeks.

I've been awake since 3 a.m. Ds is napping, tho his body clock is taking some time to readjust. That's all for now. More later when I'm feeling less tired.

[XmasEve]

solsticemama, newborning a 30lber!! I am in awe of you. How do you do it? I had dreamed of always being the bigger half to my baby, no matter how large he/she grew, but the laws of physics keep me down. And dd is a comparatively tiny 22lbs. (Due to an over indulgence in backyard fresh berries, we had to make an emergency purchase of disposable diapers for potty-trained dd. I got size 3 but could easily have used size 2!) I just realized today that she is tall enough to walk beside me, holding my hand, and I don't have to bend over at all.

[majazama]

Solstice mama! I was thinking about you today or yesterday (can't remember exactly, pregnancy brain) And I'm still pregnant... you were wondering if you would miss the big events of rynna and my births, but so far, my little dumpling has not appeared. I am 3 days "overdue" today, and I feel great, like I could still be pregnant for weeks. Anyways, I was going to show you pictures of my "hugenormous" belly: http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/...92&uid=2143685

Kerc, my feeling about the issue your DD has with sleeping is that perhaps she has sleeping confused with death. I remember that particular book you are reading her from when I was a kid, and I didn't really like it. I felt like it was sad. It's like the animal is dying, because they say "goodnight moon..." like your never going to see them again. I definately agree that your DD must be very sensitive.

[Mona]

mamajaza- you look wonderful!!!! and your alter is beautiful. i LOVE the great cosmic mother. i just got it out of the attic last week.

solstice mama- WELCOME HOME!!!!!


gotta run.....

[punkprincessmama]

Thanks for the love mamas, I am soaking it up I get along great with my MIL most of the time. It is hard to have two strong, opinionated women in the same house, kwim? I love her, just don't wanna live with her :LOL Her friends from out of town will be with us the rest of this week and begining of next...then dh grandma is coming for a week....

Can you keep a secret? I am longing for fall, I am longing for it to just be our little family again...

Welcome home Solsticemama, we have missed you. I can't imagine dealing with such illness so far from home, how wonderful though, that you had with you all your little one needed. Have BM, will travel, kwim?

MamaJaza, thank you for sharing your lovely pictures. I feel funny sometimes, because I am thinking of you so much, and the wonderful birth that awaits you and your child. I think it is because I really identify with your desire to birth at home, unassisted.

hjohnson, how are you these days? I am thinking that your time is coming soon too, right?

Gotta run....

[tea olive]

kristin, are you cosleeping? quit reading that book!

[kerc]

thanks for all the response mamas! we aren't cosleeping -- no one slept when we did. Most importantly I didn't sleep and I wasn't a good mama when i wasn't sleeping. Erin's in her room in a bed on the floor. door's open at night and she can come bounding in at any time (and did this morning!!). I have shuffled the goodnight moon book to the bottom of the stack. the thing is she loves it other than the last page. it makes me kinda sad when the grandma leaves in the end. I wish the bunny were sleeping and she stayed in there.

I agree with mamajaza that she's confused about sleep/death. So we are spending a lot of time talking about how the babies go to sleep and tucking babies under the covers. I'm hoping that she's getting some comfort from us running in there at first peep in the morning and from waking up with babies all around.

Also on the sleep topic: At one point, I thought this day would never come and now that it has, I am . Last night dh gave her the bath and read a ton of stories before getting me. I went in, read one story and she was like "night night", pulling the covers up over her shoulder and pointing out the puppy (30 yr old snoopy pillowcase). No nursing. She refused when I offerred. I'm pleased that my dd is growing up and doesn't need to nurse to sleep, because that made me feel very trapped. But it is so hard to let her go on her terms, KWIM? she made up for it this morning by bounding into bed with us and demanding ju-ju (short for mom-juice).

[eilonwy]

nak

well, things are very hectic around here. yesterday i took rivkah to have some blood drawn, and then we went to get our computer and spend some time with friends; when we got home, there were two messages from her ped's office saying to call back as soon as possible. when i called this morning, i was told that they were very busy, there were no nurses in and only one secretary, but to call back at 1 pm (shift change). so now eli is nursing and we're killing time till then.

as i suspected he might, eli has basically forsaken solid food since the milk has come back. i try to offer him food before he nurses, but he starts to cry for nursies almost every time. i'm somewhat torn about this. on one hand, i'm worried that he'll lose some weight, and start looking really scrawny again if he doesn't keep eating and drinking pediasure; on the other, he's waited so long to get his milk back, i couldn't keep him from it. and then there's the fact that i don't want to get my period back too soon, and all the nursing will help. *sigh* we're just doing it one day at a time!

[tea olive]

i think the "little old lady" being gone in the end, or it being dark, is what is getting to your dd. loneliness and darkness are common fears associated with sleep. she needs your total acceptance and respect of her fears, and to feel your confidence that there is no danger. i'm sure you are loving on her, which of course feeling loved is what she needs as well.

i vehemently disagree with the death theories. unless she is a reverend mother child from dune or has lived with death firsthand, death is not something that kids or even adults can perceive and understand cellularly. it is an intellectual knowledge that we acquire, none of us really know what it feels like to be dead. or can feel in our vibrant bodies the possibility of death.

[Brayg]

Welcome back Rose! Wow! What a time you had!

Kristin--I so totally don't know what I will do when Owen decides to wean. Although I'm sort of at the point where I'm tiring of it (only every once in a while) I think I will be devastated when he does. I'm thinking about maybe weaning by 2 years, though. We'll see...

[lilmiss'mama]

Welcome back *solsticemama*! What a trip. It is stressful enough (for me) to have sick kids at home much less abroad! It sounds as though you handled things wonderfully though. There is something about being a mama and the power associated with it that makes you stand tall and proud.

Hope everything is okay eilonwy. The waiting is the hardest.

I agree with casina in that I wouldn't think kids would associate death/sleep unless they had been through something traumatic involving death. I know Scarlett has cried out more at night since we have been in a new place and she isn't sleeping with me as often. Revina has bad dreams about people taking her food and she cries out saying stop and trashing around. I don't know where the whole taking her food scenerio came from, so it is hard to tell what our little ones may find upsetting.

I have met a great AP group of moms here in Tucson that meet at a park every Tuesday and sometimes Thursday. Little babies thru older kids attend and it is good for both the girls and I. Usually I am shy about meeting new people, but I felt instantly comfortable with these women. I guess I don't usually meet people that I have so much in common with!

[hjohnson]

Originally Posted by punkprincessmama

hjohnson, how are you these days? I am thinking that your time is coming soon too, right?

I am down to 8 weeks left before my due date. I am doing pretty good but the fatigue is starting to set in. Thankfully Christopher still naps for 3 hours so I get to nap as well. My ankles are swelling just a little because of the heat. I am keeping an eye on my blood pressure and keeping an eye out for pitted edema since I had Pre-Eclampsia with my first pregnancy. No Gestational Diabetes this time around! YEAH! Christopher is going to start attending a Mom's Morning Out program two mornings a week in August. He loves being around other kids and I could use the much needed time in the last month before David shows up. So far we have settled on David Alexander for the baby's name.

[DecemberSun]

Welcome back, solsticemama!!! We've been missing you and your Little Mukti...

Hope everything's ok w/ Riv, Rynna.

Glad you found some cool friends in your area, Anna. Now that you're closer I hope to meet you and the girls someday!

At first I had also thought that Erin might be associating sleep with death, but only if she had some kind of memory from a past life or something. I don't know, I'm weird about that stuff- I think what you do in this life has a lot to do with what you did in your past life. Maybe, maybe not, but it obviously sounds like Erin has some fears regarding sleeping, and I'm sure Kristin and her DH will work through it just fine!

I have a horribly S-L-O-W internet connection up here on the mountain (28.8!!! ), so I won't be doing as much posting as I'd like... At least I have internet access, thanks to DH bringing up his laptop!

[kerc]

david is such a wonderful name!! I hope everything continues to go well with the pregnancy.

solsticemama I think i forgot to welcome you back! Have you seen the pox yet?

I've got to get back to work, but I LOVE this thread, you mamas are great. Can you all move to whereever it is that I am living? Follow me around the country LOL. Littlemiss I am so jealous that you've found a group of kindred spirits. I am still looking.

[tea olive]

hey solsticemama, i'm glad you are back. it's amazing what one can go through with children and how they strengthen us.

rynna, my heart is with you tandem nursing. i remember finding that i had even more little muscles i never knew i had nursing with two and learning to maneuver each child with each arm and appreciating my elbows. i remember that being the hardest for me, just getting used to the physical parameters of nursing both, and deciding it was okay to pull a child just from gripping the forearm. i also remember falling asleep with ruby nursing in the sling as well. i had no idea the tandem would be such an experience for me, and that it would turn out so well.

me and ruby are the only ones that don't talk in our sleep, so i'm used to the bizarre chatter. she's growing in her canines and some molars....her body decided to bring in six teeth at the same time. she also quit saying all the words she was saying before and is making new sounds. she was the only one that called me mamma, and now it's gone. now it is mom-EEE in the whiniest voice.

i'm decluttering my house, one cubic foot at a time. dealing with the hot days and yabbering children.

a friend of mine adopted a chinese girl the same age as our babies and is coming back from china saturday. it's weird imagining acquiring my child at this time. it will be interesting to meet this girl. i know things are going well since sabrina has wanted to be held since they got her a over a week ago, though by my friend's husband only. my friend has been keen on adopting especially ever since she met ruby, and has high hopes of the two girls playing together and such, even though she is not crazy with the way i parent the boys. a little freaky for me overall.

[DecemberSun]

Wow, casina, how exciting for your friend!!! I hope the babe transitions well- it would definitely be hard for such a little baby to deal with such a huge change... But I'm sure she'll do great! That is just so awesome!!! What a lucky little girl to get parents who WANT her... And to grow up with little Ruby as a friend- HOW COOL! Even though Julianna wasn't made from my body, and I didn't adopt her in the legal sense- she is my baby. I love her as my daughter. I love Zachary a little differently, it's hard to explain, but I definitely feel like the girls are a part of me, too. Adoption is so awesome, I'm glad there are people who do it, and love it.