Homebirth Mama's Thread....May 18th - Page 3

[rubelin]

hmmm, no post from Molly today, could that be good news I hope you are taking it easy and blocking out the world. It's not fun when your care provider changes faces at the end. I hope you can find some peace with all this and that you get to hold your sweet bundle very soon!

We had our home visit yesterday, it was pretty cool! I let them check me and I'm starting to dilate but babe is still floating a bit so it was hard to tell how much. I'm just very happy that they didn't tell me I was still closed up tight! They think it will be next week and I'm actually finally at a point that I'm Ok with whenever it happens. Everything is ready, there isn't much of anything left to do, so there's no pressure to get things ready, we're just waiting. My pelvic pain has been better (probably because his head is not pressing down on the bones, but snuggled inside) and not being in pain all the time really makes it easier to be mellow about waiting. I'm also remembering why I preferred to be a bit late at the beginning, not having Ben's birthday overshadowed by new baby, getting DH home for 2 wks after Ben is done with school (instead of him going back to work just when school ends) etc. I am anxious to meet this little guy and worried that I'll be in more pain if he gets too much bigger, but for now it's all good, he can come when he's good and ready

[mollyeilis]

Oh gosh, I didn't post? I've been lurking all day, I suppose.

I think things are slowly changing within...nothing specific, but shifts, ya know? I am hopeful for tonight.

Tomorrow is the wedding of a good friend of mine; I can't be out in Rhode Island for the big day because of this baby, so we're both really hopeful that her anniversary will be the same as baby's birthday. Plus, that's Gemini, right? I'm way more comfy with a Gemini than a Taurus, given that my dad is a Taurus and I know what HE'S like LOL. I was picturing a lifetime of butting heads with baby, just as I do with my dad.

[liz-hippymom]

my daughter was born at 1145 am today (21st). we did have our homebirth and she was 6 p 4 oz. she dosnt have a name yet. ill post a story soon.

[Dreaming]

Molly- Labor dust for you******

Liz- Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are using nipple stim and sex to try and jump start labor. I get pretty powerful and painful contrax about 5 minutes apart, but they go away once contact with DH stops.

I'm trying not to be crabby, but I don't think I'm trying hard enough. I'm actually concerned that DH's "schedule" is going to effect when the baby comes. In other words, he's not *ready* and he seems to want me to hold the baby in until he is. I'm so annoyed.

I know the baby will come when she's ready, but I wish he were being more supportive. He keeps pointing out that my EDD isn't until the 31st, so I should "wait" until then (but he's also concerned that I'll go past 41 weeks). He hasn't done a bit of research on the subject, so that makes it more annoying IMO.
He's basically giving me a week long window to deliver. I think he should've been an sOB.

It's really too bad that men cannot have babies. I would make DH carry our next child so he can be the one to get heartburn and acid reflux and nausea and hemis. Oops- almost forgot swollen feet and having to pee every 1/2 hour. Men...

[Greaseball]

My shoes, ring and watch no longer fit. At 36 weeks I was like, hey, no problem, this baby can take its time! But I'm 39 weeks now and any day is fine with me! I really want it to happen this month, but I don't want to do anything to "make" it happen...

[LizD]

I am rereading Spiritual Midwifery though I had it memorized when I was about 14, to refresh and replace all the negativity about homebirth that is out there. Whether they say anything aloud or not, knowing about the disapproval of certain friends and family works on the head also, and I want to kind of flush it out. Fortunately most of my nearby friends have had their babies at home, so there is plenty of support and relaxed attitude to go around.

I mentioned on some other board I met a wonderful pediatrician we will definitely be using while we still live in this state. He mentioned how often he sees the baby in the hospital; I said, oh, we won't be in the hospital. He said "the baby's being born at home? Awesome!" He also said the midwife was very thorough in our postpartum care and just to call him when the baby's born and bring the baby sometime in the first few months to meet him. It was lovely. Also gave us the validation our own families can't bring themselves to give us regarding our older daughter's diet, health, lifestyle. So I was smug and happy the rest of the afternoon.

How do others planning homebirth feel about thinking about possible transfer? Do you think about how you want things to go, even have a birth plan, or list of things to take? Or do you feel that's tempting fate so to speak? Some of my friends and clients have said, I can't believe I never read anything about cesarean birth and made no plans for it. But as a doula I have been to enough cesareans to know what I would try to ask for, depending on the circumstances, and while it doesn't seem this farfetched thing some of the ladies I've talked to thought it was, somehow the reality of attending so many makes me more confident I won't need one. I have only seen one cesarean I am in doubt about being necessary. The rest were obviously the result of "cascade of interventions," which isn't an issue for me.

I am 36 + 2 and in that strange place of "it could be, but it just isn't likely to be yet." Thinking, well, better finish getting ready, but at the same time feeling it's too early and there must be all the time in the world. While I don't really want to have the baby this early I am starting just a little to get anxious to meet it. I am also trying to savor every moment of the pregnancy, even the heartburn (though that is getting to be too difficult) because in all likelihood this is the last one. So there is a bittersweet, quiet quality to my demeanor and thoughts now and some folks don't seem to understand when they say, "aren't you getting excited yet?!" They worry something's wrong, whereas I am just kind of floating along, drawing in, and being full. There is also less flurry over preparation in a way, for a homebirth. My clients have lots of lists and plans and packing to do. When there isn't any of that, and most of what we need is right around the house already, it seems to change the preparations to this inward turning quiet. At least it is doing so for me.

[mollyeilis]

We took Bradley classes, and the instructor really made us look at what we'd do with a transfer, we even had to write a birth plan for such a scenario.

I can't imagine wanting to go for drugs, which sometimes feels a bit cocky of me to say since I don't *know* how much it might hurt, but I just can't imagine those words coming out of my mouth. Therefore, it would be an emergency situation, and of course things would have already changed. Hubby knows I do not want them wasting time with needles in my spine in case of a c-section, and that I would want to be put out with minimal drugs and brought back awake as soon as possible. I've had general anes. before and hate it, but know how to deal with it.

Hubby really knows what I want in such a case, and I trust him to remember all those things. So yes, we have definitely thought of it. Didn't really want to, though.




Speaking of birth, I have been having regular but irregular (I've been having contractions for weeks, but today is fairly solid, though not yet easily time-able) contractions, and I'm obviously losing the mucus plug. Lots of gunk comin' out. Though gross, it's pretty exciting, since baby and I are facing seriously unwanted ultrasounds on Monday if baby doesn't show up soon.

I'm also having allergies, which I think is helping the plug, with all the sneezing I'm doing. Since vomiting right at transition can help with the last bit of dilation, perhaps the sneezing is helping with that, too! One can hope.

I haven't called the midwives (mainly because I'm annoyed at them, which is not the best head space to be in), but Robert likely will once we really start noticing a pattern to all of this.

Anyhoo, it's exciting!

[morgan's_mom]

How do others planning homebirth feel about thinking about possible transfer? Do you think about how you want things to go, even have a birth plan, or list of things to take? Or do you feel that's tempting fate so to speak?

I don't like to think about it, but I have, and I need to talk to my mw about it some more. I suspect that any transfer in my case will be a true emergency. Statistically, the majority of my midwife's transfers are first-time moms for FTP. I had a very fast and what I would call "easy" first labor, so my mw and I don't expect FTP or my wanting to go in for drugs or anything like that (of course, I know that every labor is different and I could end up with a 60-hour marathon this time, but it's not *likely*). Anyway, assuming transfer were for a true emergency, I suspect we'd go to the hospital nearest my house.

With my first birth, at a FSBC, odds were that a transfer would be for FTP, so I was a lot more thoughtful about which hospital we'd go to (since there would be no hurry) and how we'd handle it. Had a fancy birth plan and everything.

My midwife this time (different one) actually dissuades her clients from having a birth plan. She believes that going in with a very anti-intervention birth plan alienates the hospital staff from the beginning. She prefers that you just have her and your partner serve as your advocates and deal with things as they come up.

One thing I have thought about a good bit WRT transfer is what to do about Vitamin K and eye ointment. We won't do it at home, and I'd prefer not to do it, but in the event of transfer, I probably would. My mw said she usually pulls a nurse aside and says, they'd like to avoid X -- will that be a problem? And if the nurse thinks it's a big deal, she advises people to just go ahead and do it if you aren't vehemently opposed, because she has seen CPS called more than once on account of refusal of these procedures. I'd like not to have them, but I'd like to have CPS involved in my life even less, so I'm willing to give that up I think.

So, anyway, this time I will not have a hospital birth plan or anything like that. I don't think it's tempting fate, per se. I just think I feel well equipped to deal with the hospital staff without one.

~~~

Molly - Keep us posted!!! (I know you from another board!) I am so excited for you!

~Melissa

[Greaseball]

I wrote out a plan for my homebirth, just to make sure my midwives weren't too medically oriented. As for a hospital transfer, the only way that would happen is in a life-or-death emergency, and in that situation I'm not going to care about eye ointment or whether or not there are male doctors.

[mollyeilis]

I guess I should have elaborated on the plan thing. I absolutely hated doing it.

My stepmom is a neonatal nurse, and even at her nice, progressive, cool hospital, the nurses are VERY prejudiced against birth plan writers. They can "forsee" all the problems as soon as they see a plan. Whether they are psychic or they are causing those problems is likely difficult to prove, but they do notice more interventions with detailed plans.

I didn't feel the plan was needed for the midwives, and in case of emergency I don't *really* want anyone wasting time by reading. Robert knows all the stuff we want and don't want, he's a big, and nicely forceful guy who can schmooze (especially women, he's the quintessential nice guy), and I'm sure he'd watch out for what we want after the baby is born, even if I'm out like a light.

I just hated writing the plans...took me about a month longer than the teacher wanted, and I had Robert write most of them.

[rubelin]

ooh Molly!! lots of labor vibes to you! I hope you can reconcile your annoyance with the MWs and not have any of that in your way today. Maybe writing out a tirade as you sit there contracting will help get it all out of your system and get things moving along. Blessed birthing to you!!

YEA LIZ!!!! Congrats!! I can't wait to hear how it went and see pics of your sweet baby girl!

I've let myself think a lot about the possibilities of transferring lately. It hasn't been too hard suprisingly, I think because I know it will only be due to a real emergency and I trust my MWs so much to take are of me. Plus they are very sure there will be no reason for one, and their confidnece is reassuring. I did meet my HMO back-up OB last week and she was much more supportive and positive than I'd expected, a very pleasant suprise. I also preregistered in L&D and walking through there where I delivered Ben almost 4 years ago was kind of comforting, knowing that it's there if I really need it and that this time I will be the one calling the shots. I am thinking of writing a brief birth plan, just outlining the things we are declining (like the vit K and eye goop) cause if we do end up there, I will not be in a very concious state of mind and I don't want anything overlooked.

[ksjhwkr]

Originally Posted by LizD

How do others planning homebirth feel about thinking about possible transfer? Do you think about how you want things to go, even have a birth plan, or list of things to take? Or do you feel that's tempting fate so to speak?

I am scared to death of a transfer, only because I know that if I do go to the hospital, I will have to have a c-section. The hospitals here won't "allow" a woman to VBAC. I have, however, written a hospital birth plan. I didn't even think about a c-section when I was pregnant with Emma. So, now, I know better! There are specific things I want to have happen, and things I dont want to have happen.

I am just praying though that everything goes smoothly and I can have my hbac that I want SO badly. The only reason I had a section with Emma is because she was footling breech. So, I figure as long as baby stays vertex, I'm in the clear.

I also am at the, "I'm ready to meet this baby, but not really" stage. Last night I started bawling because my favorite pants (and only ones that fit me well) had a hole in the bum. I just LOST it! Then, I started to feel bad because after Emma died, I SWORE that if I could get pregnant again, I would savor every single moment and never complain. But, as much as I LOVE being pregnant, and LOVE this baby, I don't love the heartburn, I don't love not being able to breathe, and I don't love going to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I am learning that it is ok though. Not much longer and we will have our babes in our arms!!!! YIPEE!!!

[Greaseball]

Kim - the hospital doesn't have to know you're a VBAC, do they?

Although for me, the only reason I would transfer before the birth is if I needed a c-section.

[ksjhwkr]

Grease -

Well, I guess they would only know I'm a VBAC if they asked any history. But, I am with you, the only way I would be transferred is if I needed a section. Then, it's kind of inevitible. I am just praying that baby stays head down and that everything goes smoothly!!

[LizD]

I felt really strange this evening, almost dizzy but not really lightheaded, more that strange pressure in your head when you're getting the flu or something. Then the right side of my mouth went numb as well as my right hand so I called the midwife but by the time I had explained it all to her it was gone, like in thirty seconds. She thought I should go to the hospital if it happens again but it hasn't. I think now I am just exhausted. I haven't slept more than a few hours a night in several days and even that has been interrupted sleep. Also my husband pointed out we cleaned his car and maybe I inhaled too much armor all and upholstery cleaner. But that was earlier enough I don't think it had anything to do with this. The numbness was very strange and worrisome enough that now I can't sleep again! When I just felt peculiar I thought maybe I was going into labor but the numbness spooked me and made me fear I was having a stroke or something.

Even if your hospital protocols are no-VBAC, depending on the complication and reason for transfer, god forbid, you could still have a vaginal birth. But as you know yourself the reason for your cesarean doesn't exist now so you really don't have anything to worry about. I think what helps is being confident a cesarean birth was truly necessary, and as Meyer Eisenstein points out in The Home Birth Advantage, a woman who's been laboring at home, using every available technique and position, and still needs help at the hospital, knows that help was truly needed and not the result of the intervention machine.

[homebirthing]

CONGRATULATIONS LIZ-HIPPYMAMA!!! on the homebirth of your little baby girl!!!!

[cottonwood]

Liz wrote: "How do others planning homebirth feel about thinking about possible transfer? Do you think about how you want things to go, even have a birth plan, or list of things to take?"

If I do go to the hospital it's going to be an emergency, and nobody's going to be looking at birth plans in a life or death situation, and I'm not going to be concerned with whether I remembered to bring my toothbrush. I would have advocates with me who would know exactly what I wanted, though.

"My clients have lots of lists and plans and packing to do. When there isn't any of that, and most of what we need is right around the house already, it seems to change the preparations to this inward turning quiet."

Same here.

[ksjhwkr]

Originally Posted by LizD

a woman who's been laboring at home, using every available technique and position, and still needs help at the hospital, knows that help was truly needed and not the result of the intervention machine.

So true!!!!

[Mummoth]

I've had an interesting day... DS is at that stage (oh god! please let it be a stage) where he likes to BOLT when I tell him to come to me. Today he made it into the lanway before I could catch him. My 36 weeks pregnant body *can't* run. When I took off after him I felt the babies' head *slam* into my cervix/pelvic floor. It knocked the wind out of me. After I caught Ds,a nd had hims safely in the yard, I had 5 or 6 contractions, a few minutes apart before they slowed down. Then I had them every 10 - 15 minutes for several hours. I *knew* they were going to stop, but it was still unnerving. They weren't like regular braxton hicks contractions... they actually felt crampy, instead of just tight. I've just been taking it really easy... and, woohoo! we're getting our new couch & loveseat tomorrow, so no more hauling myself up off the mattress on the livingroom floor!!

[sweets]

My ds is also going through the "dart" stage, I am only 27 weeks pregnant and can just catch him, I pray this phase will end.