Homebirth Mama's Thread....May 18th - Page 5

[2BMamaof3]

Hey all. Does anyone remember when Doula Sarah is due?

I'm wondering how she's doing????

Abby

[Dreaming]

I *think* her EDD is in about a week or two, but I don't remember for sure (I wanted to hire her to be my doula, but she couldn't 'cause she's expecting soon after me).

I bet she's busy with her kids and her DH.

[Mummoth]

DH is officially home FULL TIME!!! His work is writing up his ROE, and he's dealing with the Employment Office tommorow. This is *such* a relief to me... I didn't like the idea of Roland spending most/all of his waking hours at my moms house. He loves being there... but I'd miss him too much!

My blood pressure was higher today (as high as 160/98 in the afternoon) even though I wasn't taking care of Roland, and was being lazy. Still, it was a stressful day waiting for test results & waiting for the work situation to be straightened out. I'm hoping it'll be lower tomorrow. Apparently a cucumber a day keeps high blood pressure away, so I'll be eating lots of that, and the midwife suggested to pick up tincture of hops from the health foods store. It's not evidence based... but I don't really care. So what if it's just a placebo effect that helps bring the pressure down?!

I'm doing laundry... thats it. I figure folding on the couch isn't to strenuous, and I might feel productive enough not to feel too guilty about not keeping up with everything else...

[Greaseball]

It finally happened, only 4 days late!

On Tuesday night I was lying in bed thinking about shoes. My feet had swollen so much none of my shoes would fit, and I wasn't able to go anywhere because of it. Dh went and got me some flip-flops in a size larger, and they were still too narrow, so he took them back and got me a new pair. They hurt my feet, and I didn't want to send him running back and forth for more, so I said I'd take them back tomorrow. So I was thinking, how is this gong to work? I have to wear the shoes to the store, try on others and not let them see me cutting the elastic so I can actually walk in the shoes, and then attempt to return the shoes I had just worn into the store? No, forget it, I'll just stay home until I have the baby and the swelling stops. Then right at midnight my water broke!

I figured I could call the midwives in the morning. I told dh, and he said "But don't you want to call now and give them a heads-up?" I told him no; often contractions don't start until several hours later. But then in 15 minutes they came every 3 minutes apart and were very intense. I called, and was told to try and sleep for as long as I could. 2 hours later they were every minute apart and very painful; I had not been able to sleep at all. The midwives came over.

The contractions continued to be every minute apart and they were excruciating. The midwives offered to check my cervix. I agreed and they said it was almost 7 cm but not all the way effaced. They did say the baby was LOA but that it might not have been the best position for it; it's not the ideal for all moms and babies. So for hours I walked around and sat in the bathtub. I was miserable because I hadn't been able to sleep. I kept asking them if there was something they could give me that would stop labor and let me sleep so I could start all over again later. They said there was nothing.

Finally, 8 hours later I got an urge to push. I was 10 cm but the head was still not well applied, they said. They offered to stretch the cervix over the head while I pushed, and I declined because I heard that is really painful. So I pushed every time I felt an urge. With Linda I never experienced that urge, so it was nice to have completely involuntary pushing. But after an hour I started to get discouraged. I kept remembering that part in What to Expect where it says "Second babies often pop out in a matter of minutes, not hours." I thought the whole labor would only last 6 to 8 hours. I kept alternating positions - walking, standing, kneeling, just about everything. I pushed for another hour with no progress. They said the baby was caught on the pubic bone, and that pushing on my back or in a reclining position with a lot of hands-on interference might actually be more effective. I agreed to give it a try. Them stretching the cervix over the head actually wasn't that bad. They had me push for awhile while semi-reclining in a chair while they stretched the cervix, held the pubic bone up, and pushed on the fundus. All that actually helped the urges get stronger. I kept alternating between that position, lying on my back on the floor and pulling my knees up, side-lying, and supported standing squatting. Lying on my back actually brought on the most progress!

But we were going on 3 hours of pushing and I was growing more discouraged. I kept telling them I didn't think this was normal for a second-time mom. I even asked for an episiotomy so they could just reach in and pull the baby out! Luckily they flat-out refused. I asked again and again for some kind of magic thing to stop labor and put me to sleep. I asked if I could take several OTC sleeping pills. I asked if they could use our salad tongs as forceps and get this whole thing over with. The heart rate was fine through everything, but I was actually wishing the baby would be distressed so then I could go to the hospital and have a c-section with general anesthesia and get to SLEEP! I also considered going so I could get an epidural. I figured, I've already had one unmedicated birth; why do I need two? Or I thought maybe I could go in just long enough for them to use the vacuum extractor and then go straight home, and maybe we would even still tell people we did the home birth. Or I thought maybe we could call the paramedics and perhaps they could use a VE in the home setting.

But there was nothing left for me to do but continue what we had been doing. I pushed on my back some more, and the head was just about crowning. I looked in the mirror...but the first thing I saw was that I had grown some extra part! My "urethral pad" had swollen very big. I didn't even know such a thing existed. At all times there were 8 fingers in my vagina, dh pushing on the fundus and another arm pushing the pubic bone down. Finally I pushed in a deep squat and the head popped out after a total of 5 hours of pushing! The shoulders were stuck, so I was flipped to hands and knees and they were free in about 2 minutes. Then the rest of the baby. I had no tearing. They didn't tell us the gender; we told them. Another girl, 8 lbs 9 oz and 21 inches. 14.5 inch head and 15 inch shoulders. We named her Andrea Zoe.

The placenta stayed in for an hour. Andrea didn't nurse right away the way Linda did, so maybe that was why. I wanted to just let it fall out, but I was still having painful contractions so I let them yank it out. The cord had stopped pulsing, and luckily it all came out in one piece, but I was surprised at how much it hurt.

I was discouraged because I had done everything right and still had a painful, difficult birth. The whole thing took only 14 hours, in contrast with Linda's 38 hour ordeal, but it was just as painful and I had to work even harder. Maybe it was because it started with rupture of membranes; I hear that makes everything a lot more intense. But I was really glad the midwives never gave up on me, never hinted that something wasn't normal, and never suggested the hospital. They just kept telling me to keep doing what I was doing.

Afterwards I felt much more tired and sore than I did with Linda. My labia are swollen to the size of testicles; I look like some kind of hermaphrodite! My pubic bone and tailbone are sore, and it hurts to walk. It takes a long time to get up out of a chair, and I don't trust myself to carry the baby up the stairs. So I'll just be resting a lot and soaking in my herbal sitz bath.

But I'm still glad it all worked out. The baby is doing fine, and this was a second generation homebirth! Now I just have to convince Linda and Andrea to have homebirths...

[Evergreen]

Greaseball, I'm crying! Very inspirational story. Hope you feel better soon.

[sweets]

Welcome to the world Andrea!

Way to go Mom! I admire your strength and courage to make it through such a difficult labor.

[Mom4tot]

Congratulations!!

I'm sorry it was so hard, you did such a great job!!

[chrissy]

Congratulations and way to go mama!! And welcome to sweet Andrea!! You did an awesome job Greaseball and I *really* appreciate you telling us the whole story. I think it is helpful to hear about all kinds of births and know that all kinds can be normal. You did a wonderful job!!

[Pam_and_Abigail]

Congratulations! Reminds me how much I want a hb!
Welcome to Andrea and congrats to Linda, new big sister!

[Ms.Doula]

Awwww sweetie!! You did an AWESOME JOB! Im so glad you did what you had to do to get the job done! You did a WONDERFUL JOB!!

[Viola]

Congratulations on your sweet little baby! I hope your swelling goes down quickly!

[QueeTheBean]

Congratulations on your new baby girl! Sorry you were disappointed with the labor, but you really did do a great job. Pretty name, too!

Cracked me up with "I kept asking them if there was something they could give me that would stop labor and let me sleep so I could start all over again later" and the salad tongs comment! :LOL Poor thing. I feel your pain! my last labor was great, but OH MAN did I hurt afterwards.

What does big sis think of her??

Hope you are soon feeling better & enjoying your new little one.

[mirlee]

Congratulations! Yeah!

[Greaseball]

When Linda came home she was so interested in the baby scale she hardly noticed the baby! But now she asks "Go see baby?" and then says "It's a nice baby." She calls her "sister baby"; I guess she can't say Andrea!

We originally wanted to have her there for the birth but I'm glad we didn't. Her grandparents picked her up in the morning and kept her all day. We had someone ready to stay with her at our place, but I knew she would demand our attention anyway and I also wanted the house to stay uncluttered. Of course, it didn't, because of all the drop cloths, pillows, ice packs, water glasses, etc. all over the living room, and I didn't care anyway! And I don't think it would have been good for her to see a birth that was so managed. I thought I would be very disappointed if she could not be there but I'm not.

I'm so glad I have one of those helpful dh's and not the kind who fall asleep during labor or who don't want to watch! (I mean, that's fine if it works for you, but I wanted him to be as involved as I was!) He was getting really tired with supporting me in the standing squats; we were walking in circles around the living room and I would push at the same 2 spots in the circle, and he would support my entire weight (I had gained 50 lbs). I could feel his arms shaking but he never complained. And he still remembered to take out the garbage and feed the chickens!

It's also good to know that just because it isn't easy doesn't mean it can't be at home. With Linda, I had a list of everything I had done wrong - let them rupture membranes at 6 cm, stayed on my back in bed, pushed without an urge to, started seeing an obstetrician in the first place - but I really have no explanation for why this one was so difficult. Maybe some people just don't have easy births, and that's OK too.

[fourgrtkidos]

Greaseball take some homeopathic Arnica, it will rally help the swelling and won't hurt the baby. It will actually help her too. Poor little head must hurt from all that! You did a wonderful job. I would want to give up. Hard work!!!!!! You rock!

[Greaseball]

Yes, her face is fairly swollen and her head has some "dents" where she caught on the bones. Linda had facial bruising for a week from forceps. So it will be interesting to see what she looks like in a few days! She also appears to have brown hair; dh and I are dark blond and Linda is white-blond. But when I was born I had dark brown hair which then fell out and I was bald for most of my 1st year, then grew blond hair. Dh was a redhead as a kid. But now Andrea's hair is still kind of sticky with vernix, so I don't know what it will look like either.

They did give me some arnica, and some herbs for a sitz bath that are supposed to help with swelling. It does feel like it's gone down a bit. I don't want to look because it's just too scary, but it doesn't feel like I've got golf balls down there now!

[Lucky Charm]

I am so happy for you! Congratulations!

I loved your birthstory, told in a typical Greasball fashion, awesome!

[LizD]

Congratulations greaseball! You can really be proud of yourself. Some friends of mine said it wasn't until their third and fourth kids that they believed in women who have "easy" births.

We finally had our home visit. It was lovely and lots of laughing and warm friendliness. My midwife and husband had not met yet, so it was a relief to have it done, too, and go so well. Our doors and halls are also wide enough for her wheelchair so that was a relief too. The little things to have checked off, you know?

While I advise my doula clients to avoid internal exams because they don't really tell you anything, I have had two now! But I trust the midwives and it's true, it's different when everyone is on the same page. No one would base decisions on "progress" or lack thereof, etc. Her thinking is because I had a fast labor with my daughter it would be good to know if I was starting labor at 2 or 6. I also had no internal exams with my daughter so it is interesting. I am 90% effaced, still posterior, at least 2, but the assistant's fingers were too short to reach due to the posterior position. But moving right along. Also the babies head is "at least" plus-one! So they kind of expect the baby just to fall out when I dilate. And I know I am not crazy; those electric pains on the inside of my pelvic bones that feel like a skull grinding on my inner pelvis are due to a skull, grinding on my inner pelvis. Pretty cool. But I am now past the point at which I had my daughter! I expected to be worried about this one coming *too* early, and now I am only 38 weeks and yet already thinking, hey, where is it? shouldn't it have started by now?

[Dreaming]

Congrats Greaseball!!!
Sorry about the new testicles.

[pumpkinhead]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Amazing story! I'm now off to go look up 'urethral pad' .

Sorry about the testicles. After ds's birth, I got to know a bag of frozen peas rather intimately . I can remember getting into the shower and gasping when I reached to wash myself. Was I inside out? The nurse called from the other room "Yes, that is yours and don't worry, it *will* go back!" :

Again, congrats and enjoy your babymoon!