WWYD - Incident at dd's school

[supakitty]

Okay- I need some serious advice. I was sitting at home this evening cuddling in bed with my little girl (Lexie) and she told me a story about her day at school... Here is what I documented and I'm not sure who I should bring it to or how I should address this issue but I'M FURIOUS. Here goes:

Lexie verbalized to me (Lexie's mother) that she went to the toilet in the Elementary Girls bathroom at The Montessori School today, 5/18/04, and that she had diarrhea. Lexie then reported that she used a lot of toilet paper in an attempt to clean her bottom. She then reported that she flushed the toilet and that it became clogged by the toilet paper. After trying to flush the toilet Lexie reports that she went to get a teacher to help her. Lexie reports that Ms. Fanny came into the bathroom and proceeded to give Lexie a pair of “big yellow rubber gloves” and make her “pick the toilet paper with the diarrhea and pee out of the toilet and put it into the trash.” Lexie verbalized that she was very sad and embarrassed by what happened.

Alright, so WWYD?

[fourgrtkidos]

I don't know. I understand that at Montessori they are trying to teach the kids that they can solve problems themselves...... but I think this was a job for a grownup.

Sorry. Hugs to your little one.

[Pynki]

Call the school 1st thing in the morning.. Set up a conference with the teacher.. Unacceptable.. I'm all for being responsible for your own actions, but THAT is ridiculous.. I would be LIVID!! I am APPALLED by that teacher behavior, and it's not even my child..

CALL THE SCHOOL!!

[fourgrtkidos]

Yes, call the school. These actions should be explained to you. Then you're gonna have to decide if she should continue going there.

Should have said that before.... implied.

[indiegirl]

Unacceptable.

Not only is it not your daughter's job, it is not sanitary. It makes me sick and really angry that she had to do this.

I am livid, I hope you kick some serious a** and...and....I don't know. If it were my daughter, I'd have to bring my calm dh to temper my red-headed fire!

Jesse

[supakitty]

Thank you so much for the replies. I am really feeling very sad about this. Lexie is only 4 years old! Not that I think this is acceptable for any age child to have to endure. She felt so embarrased and ashamed of what happened. I am so angry and sad about this. I can't figure out if I should confront the school in the morning or call a lawyer about it. I think this actually violates laws but I would have to do some digging to figure out which ones.

Thanks again for the replies it means a lot to hear from other people about this.

-Laura

[MamaAllNatural]

This is taking it too far. She can't help it that she had diarreah. She didn't purposely try to make a mess. Shame on that teacher. Definately take it up with the school. She deserves an apology at least. to your dd.

*ETA: OMG, she's only 4 yo? That is so wrong. Please let us know how the school responds. This is just unacceptable.

[*Erin*]

i wouldnt send her back there. i would sue that teacher. that was wrong wrong wrong. and stupid of the teacher. she shouldve known better. or at least had some sort of love enough for kids to know that that was hurtful and inappropriate. i'm livid for you and your dd.

[indie]

All of this talk of lawyers and sueing is a little premature. Go into the school and talk to them about this. Obviously that teacher made a very bad decision and this was unfair to your daughter.

[hotmamacita]

i would be livid too. 4 yo is too young. what child needs to do that?

I am sooooo sorry for lexie. Please, please,please (and I am sure you have) tell her that she did the right thing by asking a grown-up for help in that situation. And that grown-up was wrong to make her do that.

Oh, I am so mad at that teacher.

[Alegria]

That is Abusive in my oppinion. If some one did that to my dd (also four in a week) I would be so angry. Really the thought of this makes me want to cry. I hope something big enough is done so your daughter understands how inappropriate that teachers response was. I'm sure she is unlikely to ever forget that. to your

[*Erin*]

maybe it is a little premature to say "sue" but i do think she should speak to a lawyer, perhaps have a lawyer contact the school-that was cruel and unhealthy and damaging. and if the teacher is so insensitive that she'd tell a FOUR year old to clean up after she'd been SICK in the toilet and accidently stopped it up, well, i don't think this person needs to be teaching 4 year olds without some more education and sensitivity training.
and it's a waldorf school? if you decide to pull her out, it would be helpful to have a lawyer call about it incase the issue of tuition refunding comes up.
if that's the kind of independance waldorf is talking about, yikes. my dd doesnt need that. i hope that's an isolated incident

[MamaAllNatural]

Originally Posted by *Erin*

if the teacher is so insensitive that she'd tell a FOUR year old to clean up after she'd been SICK in the toilet and accidently stopped it up, well, i don't think this person needs to be teaching 4 year olds without some more education and sensitivity training.

ITA The more I think about it, the more this is upsetting and disturbing me. I'm so sad for you and your little girl. That teacher needs to at least be reevaluated. How could she ever think that was ok? Your poor little girl.

*Erin, it was Montessori*

[Katana]

I'm just so sorry this happened.

Completely unacceptable. She did this to a 4 year old??!! Come on, now.

Definately speak with the school administrators and the teacher. I'd try to get an apology, too. And this is just me, but I would not send my child back there.

to you and your dd.

[Ravin]

I would go down to the school a raging pissed off mama.

I'd probably take a plunger with me and wave it in the teacher's face, ask her if she knew what it was for, and suggest she use it to get her head out of her *ss.

Rational behavior following would depend on the teacher's reaction.

[saintmom]

i would never send my child back Get a lawyer and get your money back,assuming it's a private school.Another good tactic is to let them know you will be letting the local media know what happened.
I'm sorry your little girl had to cope with such aterrible situation Hope you get some closure soon.

[laurajean]

Laura,

I am really sorry that happened.

I teach at a preschool, and if a child accidentally overstuffed the toilet, we would call maintenance. That's what custodians do... This teacher was being malicious. And, I would tell her and her director so!!!

Four year olds are supposed to be supervised by a teacher when they go to the bathroom at school. If your child had been, none of this would have happened.

~Laura

[kimberlylibby]

That is so awful!!!

As a member of the frequent toilet clogging club (my dh is the charter toilet clogger) I can tell you that even as an adult I would be humiliated and embarassed by that!!!

She's only 4!!!! What kind of world is that teaching her about??

[tnrsmom]

I am so sorry you had to go through that. Poor Lexie. What the teacher did was obviously inappropriate.

I would definately talk to the administrator as soon as possible. I would not start talking lawyers or suing yet. You may get a very satisfactory response from the school. Perhaps she is a newer teacher. I know our Montessori school does not have a maintenance staff, teachers do the work. The teacher should have helped the child back to class and taken care of the job.

Good luck to you.

[SheBear]

Obviously this teacher was WAAAAAY out of line. However, I would also be concerned that immediately withdrawing the child might make her feel like she did something bad, and is being punished by not being allowed to go back to school. Not that the OP wouldn't try to explain to the child, but kids have a tendency to accept responsibility even when it isn't their fault, KWIM?

It also concerns me that taking action that resulted in the immediate dismissal of the teacher might (again) cause the child to feel responsible, like her "tattling" got the teacher in trouble and caused her to leave, KWIM? I just think it should be handled with the utmost care, which of course I know it would be.

JMTCW....