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WWYD - Incident at dd's school - Page 2

post #21 of 51
I'd call the principal and request a meeting with the teacher and the principal present. The teacher should explain her reasoning to you directly. This teacher sounds ignorant and misguided to me. I would suspect this is her first year or two of teaching, and I would suspect she's never heard of a plunger, either! I too would be tempted to buy a plunger and bring it with and offer to demonstrate if necessary, too.

I would be sure to point out that it was embarassing and humiliating to your daughter and that teacher should apologize to you and separately to your daughter - in front of any other child who may have witnessed your child's having to go thru this! Even if they are trying to teach her how to be responsible for her actions, your daughter did the responsible thing - she called a teacher to help. This problem was too big for a 4 year old. It is not a developmentally appropriate expectation for a 4 year old to unclog a toilet. I am saddened and surprised that this teacher did not know that.

I wouldn't take her back to this teacher at LEAST until the talk. If there's more than 1 class available - I might request that your daughter switch classrooms or sessions to be with a more experienced, compassionate teacher.

As far as your DD being hurt, if you feel the need, just reinforce to her the difference between "tattling" and "telling" Tattling is trying to get somebody into trouble. Telling is trying to get somebody OUT of trouble. Explain to her that telling you was right and that her teacher will be learning from the consequences of her actions and it's not your daughter's responsibility at all. Just make sure your child hears that she did the right thing.

Good luck & let us know what happens!!
post #22 of 51
to your poor baby

I am on the "don't sue" (yet) side of the fence but definately bring it up.

IMO, it was very responsible (and that is where her responsibility ended) for your DD to get help. Many children would just leave it be. The teacher should have comforted her (if she had diahrea I am assuming she felt kinda sick, said it was no big deal and cleaned it up herself, or gotten another adult to). There are a LOT of things that kids need done that they can't do themselves.

I would definately get the reaction from the teacher/director before pulling your child from school. Esp since it is near the end of the year (I assume). I would also actually discuss it with DD (if she is really upset, she may prefer not to go back, but otherwise as pps have mentioned she may see it as a punishment).

Good luck!
post #23 of 51
Another vote for "completely inappropriate and wrong" here. I thought schools had janitors? If not, and the teachers do all the work, they knew what they were in for when they took the job! They can't just back out of their duties.

I hope your dd knows she doesn't ever have to do anything like that again.

When I'd get sick in school and vomit, no one EVER made me clean it up, even when I was 13 and capable. It's just not my job.
post #24 of 51
That is ridiculous, and I'm so sorry that happened. How humiliating! And totally inappropriate of the teacher.
post #25 of 51
That teacher's action was horrid! I hope everything turns out alright...
post #26 of 51
that really is a very sad story and I'm sorry that happened to Lexie. I am also of the mind that I would not allow my child to continue there, but given the time of the year, I'd probably allow my child to finish out the year and then make a change for the next school year as a natural transition. I would also ask for a meeting with the administrator and teacher to discuss the issue and make it clear that I felt it was inappropriate and see how they reacted. Based on that, I would feel I had a clearer vision of how soon I need to act on the change. As some have said, you may find that the teacher is truly sorry and will make a real change. Also, if your dd is not going to have that teacher directly in charge of her next year, it might end up being a nonissue soon enough. At best, it was bad judgment and inappropriate action. At worst, it's cause to remove her immediately. I'm sorry. Good luck. I'd like to hear how things turn out for Lexie and you.

post #27 of 51
Thread Starter 
Well mamas I thank you so very much for your kind words and support. This morning we met with the owner of the school, the teacher in question and Lexie's teacher, Melissa. The teacher admitted that she did make Lexie put on the gloves and pick the toilet paper out of the toilet and she quickly apologized for her actions. The owner of the school assured us that it would never happen again.

Okay, so, she apologized and that seemed to be the end of things.

Here's what happened today... Lexie's very close friend and classmate (age 7) told his mom that while Lexie was in the bathroom the teacher, Melissa, instructed all the children in the class not to look at Lexie, not to touch Lexie and not to be her friend. He told this to his mom twice in the car and then told his father the same story when he got home.

Obviously she will never ever go back to the school again. We have contacted the police and will file child abuse charges against the school and in the morning we will meet with a lawyer and file a lawsuit against them for both physical and emotional abuse.

I'm sick about this, so completely sick. She has been a student at this school since she was 18 months old. We trusted these people.
post #28 of 51


Good luck

"not to be her friend?" what kind of sick twisted logic is that?
She was SICK for crying out loud!! And for being sick they humiliate her with the clean up ( would think that violates some hygiene rules as well considering her age - what would happen had there been a hole in the glove and what made her sick reinfected her ? but further with alienating her from her friends?
WTH is that supposed to teach her?
Let us know what happens with the lawyer and police report!
And you give her a big ol hug from me
post #29 of 51
WIth that knowlege.. I would go back to the school and INSIST on her dismissal..

What an awful woman..
post #30 of 51
That teacher is a sick woman. She shouldn't be allowed around children. That's even WORSE than the bathroom incident. Don't be surprised if she denies it.
post #31 of 51
Oh my Gosh!!! Your poor baby. That woman should not be around children, period.

I'm glad you're pulling her out of the school right away. At this point I can't see finishing the year being beneficial. How have you/will you explain it to her? I would emphasize how much you love and value her, and that it is important for her to be somewhere that the teachers treat children nicely and help them if they are feeling sick. That way, it's not like a punishment for your little girl, it's a valuable lesson in how she deserves to be treated well and should be able to walk away from any situation where that doesn't happen.

Good luck! Also contact licensing authorities. And I agree with the previous poster who suggested threatening media attention, too.
post #32 of 51
WHAT??? That is incredible! What did your daughter say about that? She must feel just awful - poor dear! I'm so sorry you have to go through this!
post #33 of 51
OH MY GOSH! I cannot believe that her teacher told the class to not have anything to do with your DD. That is just unbelievable! I don't know if I would take Lexie back to that school for the rest of the year.

Please keep us posted on what happens. I am just

Hugs to you and your DD!
post #34 of 51
I am so sorry they betrayed your trust. Do what you feel you need to do to make that never happen to another child. Unreal.

Good luck and let us know what happens,

post #35 of 51
Your poor little girl. I do think she'll know you're protecting her if you don't send her back. Tell her you will never let anyone treat her that way and it's wrong so she doesn't have to go there anymore. I wouldn't be satisfied until that teacher was fired and not allowed to teach again w/o some counseling & more child development classes. to your dd.
post #36 of 51
I just read through all of the posts, and after the first page was in the "talk to the administration but not the lawyer just yet" camp.

Then I read the OP's follow up and was tempted to call my OWN lawyer, I was so angry!

Supakitty, I am so sorry for what you and your family were put through. There's no excuse for it. Major s to all of you. I hope this gets resolved for you quickly!

Best to all,

JA & S
post #37 of 51
that is unbelievable & awful. do NOT send lexie back there, ever! i am wondering what else this teacher has done, what other students she has harassed & abused.

there is NO WAY a 4 year old should be responsible for unclogging a toilet, even if she had clogged it intentionally just for fun, to make her put her hands in the filthy water (yellow gloves or not!) & dig out the toilet paper is WRONG!

& then the teacher was reprimanded & to PAY YOUR LITTLE GIRL BACK, she tells the whole class to ostracize her?? what is she teaching these kids?

i am really sorry that you are going through this. i am so sorry that lexie had to be humiliated in that way... i am as mad as if it happened to my son or nephew, & i don't even know you... it is just wrong.

i hope that teacher is swiftly fired.
post #38 of 51
s to your dd. That teacher better lose her job! That is abusive and disgusting and just plain mean! :
post #39 of 51
This is so sad for your daughter. Besides everything you are doing, I hope Lexie's friends parents have big mouths and let other parents know what is going on. I would be furious that the school has her for a teacher. The cleaning the toilet was a bad call, but what she told the students makes me think that other "stuff" -- even smaller stuff -- has probably happened and the school should have been on her before this.
post #40 of 51
You bring up a good point Sara. I think all the parents should be alerted.
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