@%$@ I hate doctors!!!!

[chrissy]

I am having my baby at home with a CNM and I am so excited about that.

Right now however I am about to have a nervous breakdown because I can't get a f$%^6'ing ultrasound to make sure that a homebirth is, in fact, safe for my baby.

My son, who is 2 1/2 has a slight heart condition. Right now it is not affecting him, but he is monitored by a pediatric cardiologist annually to check on it. He will need a pacemaker before he is 16.

I want an ultrasound to check out my baby's heart and make sure that it is healthy and not in need of either in utero or right after birth surgery but I can't for the life of me seem to get one ordered.

I tell all the idiotic OB and even hospital midwife practices the situation and that if the u/s shows any reason that I need to have a hospital birth then I will switch to them but otherwise I will go back to my midwife and have a homebirth. Then they refuse to see me. It's a perfect example of how everything with them is "my way or the highway."

Why don't they want me to make sure I have the safest possible birth for my baby?!

Excuse me if I am rambling and incoherent. I just got off the phone with yet another practice and I am hysterical because I just don't know what else to do.

HELP!

[cottonwood]

Wow, I am SO sorry. Like you need that frustration, huh? Does your midwife not have any idea of where an independent midwife could get one done for her client?

[homebirthing]

We needed to have a second level ultrasound with our 2nd baby because she wasn't growing like she was supposed to, and we just scheduled the appointment through our insurance. I would call your insurance and say that you are having a homebirth, but are concerned about heart problems, and could they please give you a reference for a place that does that type of thing. I wouldn't go through a clinic. I would go through the hospital. I went to a hospital radiology place and got it done there. Good luck! BTW, a clinic wouldn't see me either. Otherwise, I would go to an ER and say that you are having spotting, then they will do an ultrasound. It might take awhile to get in, but they would let you know of any heart problems. Definately wait until you are over 21 weeks though, so that they can see all of the heart and you don't have to go back.

[chrissy]

thank you guys for your quick replies.

i am just a basket case right now. i think part of my issue is that i seem to be having a communication problem with my midwife. i met her when i just found out i was pregnant- i was just barely 5 weeks along- and told her at the initial appointment about our desire for an u/s. then we started talking about it again when i was about 14 weeks. i've been to a local birth center and a local midwife/ob practice to see if they would provide me some back-up care including this u/s and both said no. my midwife lives about an hour from me and has a physician about 1/2 hour from her (making him 1 1/2 hours from me) who she relies on for back-up stuff and labs for other patients. i've told her several times that it's fine with me to just use that doctor, it's not that big a deal for me to have to drive that far for one appointment.

phone ringing... may be midwife

[TurboClaudia]

DoulaSarah's approach is a good idea.

Here's another option:

Stop telling the OB practices you are planning a homebirth. Undoubtedly, they are prohibited by their malpractice insurance to cover homebirths or even be listed as a care provider for someone who they know is planning a homebirth. Yes, it's a system that breeds distrust, but unfortunately this is the system we have to work with in this country at this time. Don't even get me started about the fact that health and medical care is run like a business even though it's something that all people will need at some point in their lives...

You can choose to view this omission of information as lying, or you can choose to view it as selective sharing of info. Just as the physician's office is not being entirely upfront with their reasons for not bringing you on as a patient in need of an ultrasound, you can be obtuse about your reasons for not yet having an OB who can perform an ultrasound.

Just wanted to share another point of view...

hugs to you mama...

warmly,
claudia

[Aura_Kitten]

i was told they couldn't screen my baby for heart defects in utero... (i have heart problems and was worried my daughter would too, so i asked them to check for any ~ but they told me it likely wouldn't show up on u/s anyway... )

s i hope everything goes ok.

[chrissy]

, not my midwife, but thankfully a good friend who listened and gave me an idea.

so. for some reason my midwife just keeps offering other suggestions, she'll call a midwife she knows who's closer, or she'll look up other options. last time we met, a week and a half ago, she was waiting to hear back froml a midwife with a practice a half hour from me. i tried calling her thursday to see if she had talked to her yet but got a busy signal every time. i was away all weekend, so i tried calling her yesterday, busy or phone just rang all day. so i emailed her last night telling her i am getting antsy to get this scheduled since i am 21 weeks. i don't want to wait too long and not have a good picture of the baby's heart because s/he is too big. she called me back this morning and emailed me telling me that she heard back from the half hour away midwife and her office won't do it. i can either call a doctor in town who i already know won't do it or she is waiting to hear from another office.

so that leads me to call another practice, explain the situation, tell them if the u/s shows any problems then i will continue on with their practice and have my baby in a hospital. if not i will say thank you and go back to my midwife. they decline. that's when i get hysterical. i call my husband at work, he comes home because i am so upset. we talk. then we decide to call my midwife. no answer, call her home number- no answer, page her. now it's been an hour and a half since we paged her and she still hasn't callled me back.

when my friend calls i explain to her that i don't want to have to lie and put on a whole big charade about why i am switching practices, blah, blah, blah. she says basically what Claudia posted (at about the same time too!) that i don't have to make up a whole song and dance, just tell them i am switching practices. period. still not my first choice because it is still lying, but damnit i want to have this stupid u/s and find out whether my baby needs to be in a hospital. so okay, i call a practice i haven't already struck out with. tell her i'm switching practices. she makes me an appointment with a nurse for an "interview" on june 3rd and my first appointment with an ob on june 14th. at that point i will be about 25 weeks and still won't have an u/s scheduled. i tell her i am worried about that and she tells me i need to have an u/s at my old practice. so i am right back at square one.

now i am having contractions because i can't stop crying and i am so stressed.

claudia, thank you for your idea. it was exactly what my friend said.

i swear, i am not usually this, i don't know, unstable or weepy.

[Aura_Kitten]

now i am having contractions because i can't stop crying and i am so stressed.

[pamamidwife]

isn't NC a hostile state for homebirth midwifery?

I would just go in, act like you're a new patient with an family practice doc and get your u/s, then leave. Done deal.

[chrissy]

pam, i think nc is pretty hostile. the problem is the dumb doctors want me to have 1 appointment with a nurse to talk about my history, then another appointment with a doctor to do bloodwork. then after that they'd schedule an u/s. so by that time i'd be at least 25 weeks (i'm 21 weeks now) and i'm afraid the baby would be too big to really get a good look at the heart. ugh. anyway, i'm going to try to make an appointment at another place tomorrow and see if i can get in earlier. if that doesn't work i'll try my insurance company.

klthos, i guess it depends on the kind of heart defect. my son's actually wasn't detected (maybe not even developed) until he was about 10 months old but now his cardiologist does look at his heart for symptoms of it getting worse.

thank you all for the hugs and concern. really.

[momto l&a]

I wouldnt trust an U/S to to detect heart problems.

A couple in our town had all the U/S's and after the baby was born then found the baby had a severe heart defect.

[chrissy]

well, maybe it wouldn't show all heart problems, but it could possibly pick up this heart problem, especially if it was severe enough to require immediate, extra attention.

[FSUBecca]

I think part of the problem may be what some other posters have said. An u/s sometimes shows an *indication* of a heart problem, but can't detect all varieties of problems and is not definitive even when they do see something. A doc would really be putting butt on the line (esp in this day and age - and exp. when he has no relationship with your midwife) to do an u/s for you, say "yep- baby looks fine as far as I can tell", and then when your baby was born at home, on the small chance that something went wrong witht he babies heart you could sue the heck out of him.

I would try the faculty practice (or even resident practice) at a state hospital. They do not have the luxury of turning away clients like a private practice does. You could get your u/s in hospital and be on your merry way. Is there a state hospital close to you?

[queencarr]

We had a fetal echocardiogram done with my pg with my daughter as my son and Dad had congenital heart defects. They are pretty accurate at detecting problems, but it is a special kind of US, and has to be requested specifically. Ours was done at a perinatologist (high risk OB/GYN) office. Could you see if there is one around you. I didn't need a referral withmy particular insurance, and only saw him once in that pg, so there would be no need to lie, as you wouldn't need an ongoing relationship. We didn't do a lot of current pg history, more about my son and Dad's heart conditions. Also what abuot asking your son's cardiologist for a referral to someone who would do a fetal echo...Good luck!

[Greaseball]

Why don't they want me to make sure I have the safest possible birth for my baby?!

Because then the word would get out that babies are safer when mothers disobey doctors. They WANT something to go wrong so they can brag about how they were right.

I've always said, if you want your thread to get a lot of hits, call it "I hate doctors" or "You won't believe what my stupid OB told me." You could even call a thread that just to get people to look, even if it's about something totally different! : "Guess what my idiot doctor did...Made you look! Now, does anyone know how to grow sunflowers indoors?"

I agree with the others; having the u/s on the heart after birth might be a better choice. It could be if you do it before the birth, they will just make something up to scare you into going to the hospital.

[Cranberry]

Originally Posted by Greaseball

Because then the word would get out that babies are safer when mothers disobey doctors. They WANT something to go wrong so they can brag about how they were right.

Right on!

Originally Posted by Greaseball

I've always said, if you want your thread to get a lot of hits, call it "I hate doctors" or "You won't believe what my stupid OB told me." You could even call a thread that just to get people to look, even if it's about something totally different! : "Guess what my idiot doctor did...Made you look! Now, does anyone know how to grow sunflowers indoors?"

:LOL :LOL Good one!

[2+twins]

Am I the only one who finds it disconcerting that the midwife is so hard to reach? Just seems weird to me.

With my first pregnancy I happened to have 2 different health insurances at the time. On one of them I went to a normal doctor for all my prenatal visits until I had gotten all the testing done that I was concerned with. After that, I dropped them and only saw my midwife (who I also saw the whole time I saw the regular ob).

With my 2nd pregnancy I first tried calling around like the OP to find someone to see me in tandem with my midwife, just for the purpose of prenatal testing. No one would touch me with a 10 foot pole because of the homebirth. Really upset me. Finally (after talking to my midwifes about it) they said "Why don't you just let us do your labs & order the ultrasound?" I had no idea that they could do that, but they're CNM's and have a backup OB who they just billed stuff under I think. I know that for the 18-20 week u/s they submitted the order for it themselves to this company that only does prenatal u/s work. No ob was needed - just them.

Maybe your midwife can just order one herself, but if not why doesn't she just get her backup ob to order it? I think you need to be really direct with her and just say flat out, "I want you to have your backup OB order me an u/s asap." Spell it out for her. Maybe she just isn't getting how stressful this is to you. Whether or not the u/s will pick up a heart defect for sure isn't really the point IMO. I think it's something you need to do to put your mind at ease, so that makes it worthwhile. Good luck - I hope you get the answer you're looking for real soon!

[chfriend]

Have you tried UNC Family Practice?

[chumani]

Chrissy

Have you considered a private u/s place. I found one in Wilmington I don't know if it is close to you. http://www.wombswindow.com/

That is how I got a due date for this pg, I went to 4-d baby in Henderson, NV. In order for them to do a "medical" u/s they needed a letter from my care provider. My midwife is a CPM, which means that she is a lay midwife who has passed the NARM exam. They were able to measure the baby to give me an approx due date.

Also with 4-d it is a lot more accurate. The u/s tech that did mine at 11 weeks has a 4 year degree in pre-natal u/s.

Peaceful thoughts to you!
Sarahb

[ObsessiveAndrea]

Originally Posted by love_homebirthing

Am I the only one who finds it disconcerting that the midwife is so hard to reach? Just seems weird to me.

Seems odd to me too. Chrissy why doesn;t your midwife just have you schedule with her backup doctor? There seems to be something fishy with your midwife. I am also worried about you and these contractions, are you ok?