Children and car safety...VENT!!

[party_of_seven]

Ok, I have a family member who has 5 children. His wife is a nurse of all people who should know far better than to do things like this. They have a small truck that seats 5, and they all just cram in there. No one belted properly at all. The youngest is definately still small enough to need a booster, yet I have seen his mom ride with him on her lap in the front seat....I almost fell on the freakin ground!

They do have other vehicles. One is a company truck that he can't drive the family around in, and the other is a mini van, but they cannot get it registered because they owe back taxes on one of their homes....so I kinda understand that they are in a fix of sorts, but this has been going on for over 2 years now. Something tells me that even if they got the tax situation cleared up they wouldn't drive the minivan because its not as "cool" as the truck. (This is a small foreign-type 4 door pickup)

I just pray that they are never in an accident. I just can't believe that they would take a risk like that. It completely boggles my mind.

Does anyone have a suggestion? Any ideas at all? I babysit their youngest, and I have told him that he needs to be in a seatbelt, and that he should tell his daddy to get him a carseat.

It really doesn't help that the mom is a nurse....she is of the mindset that since she is a nurse she knows absoutely everything, so you cannot tell her what to do. I seriously doubt that talking with her would help. Does anyone know if Texas has a hotline you can call to report this type of stuff?? No, I'm not talking about CPS....they have already BTDT over other neglect issues, and I don't care to make them go through that again.

I just want to scream!!! ....why can't people take care of these serious safety issues???

Anyway...any thoughts?

Christina....mom to 4 cuties-all strapped into their carseats properly including my 55lb 6 year old!

[shelbean91]

You can call 1-800-505-baby to report carseat violations. You can also search TX laws to see if there are any violations. In some states, once the kids are out of carseats, they don't legally need to be buckled in (some states, kids can be out of carseats as young as 2 or 3) in the backseat.

I found this link- see if this helps. http://www.inventiveparent.com/state-laws.htm

[mamaduck]

What a frustrating situation for you, and dangerous situation for those precious kids! They have more than one vehicle and more than one house? Can't the sell *something* to get their van registered?

I have to comment on this:

Does anyone have a suggestion? Any ideas at all? I babysit their youngest, and I have told him that he needs to be in a seatbelt, and that he should tell his daddy to get him a carseat.

Its not his responsibility. Its not his fault. He shouldn't be made to feel guilty about his parent's choices, or expected to remedy the situation himself. He is not in a position of power here. If you want to confront his parents yourself, then by all means do so! But I feel badly about this little boy being expected to do it.

[LunaMom]

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do other than tell them what you know about car seat safety, let them know that you are not preaching, but that you love them and worry about their safety, and that's about it.

I had a friend who was extremely lax about car seat safety, and I was so worried that her kids would be seriously injured or killed even in a minor accident. I said something once, was very clear and direct about it, and she made excuses and changed nothing. I couldn't do anything after that other than keep worrying... This is an intelligent woman, too.

[khrisday]

I have to deal with this as well. Recently my BIL wanted my 8 year old to ride in the front seat of his truck. I refused to allow it and the family got mad at me for having to drive a second car for everyone to ride safely. When I went to pick the kids up in the morning (my dh was there with them), I watched him drive from the pool to their house with his 12 and 6 year olds in the open back of his truck. Now I see what their idea of "safe" is, and why they thought it was no big deal.

[maekati]

I agree. I hate seeing kids not properly restrained. I am really upset about this at the moment. A toddler from my neighborhood was just killed in a car accident because he was not strapped in. His mom, who was 7 months pregnant was not wearing a seatbelt either. They had to take the baby, but so far the baby is okay. It is so sad to see something so tragic that could very easily have been prevented.

[party_of_seven]

Thanks Shelbean for the link. I looked at it, and according to state law they aren't doing anything wrong. It says that as long as all of the safety belts are being used it doesn't matter how many people are in the car....you just have to have everyone who can be buckled up buckled up. His youngest is 5, and by law he doesn't have to be in a car seat. So technically they aren't doing anything unlawful.

Mamaduck, I'm sorry if you think that I am pinning all of this on my nephew. I am not. I just mentioned it to him hoping that he might say something to his dad and his dad might see the error in his ways.

Oh, I guess I could explain a little more about thier situation. They have a beat up run down trailer(their other home) that they were renting out. They had their kids taken by CPS over some possible abuse/neglect charges(that I had nothing to do with BTW). They are in debt up to their eyeballs in lawyer costs and therapy costs. Because of all of that they quit paying the mortgage on the trailer and let it go into foreclosure. They didn't pay the taxes either, and since their van was last registered when they lived at that address the county won't let them renew the registration until they pay the back taxes. The more I thought about it the madder I got because the gov is basicly forcing them to drive an unsafe vehicle. I thought that I might recomend to the dad that he should consider that he drive the van anyway(so that all of the kids can be buckled in), and if he gets pulled over he could go to court and fight it. I think that the judge would throw it out and allow him to pay the registration. I mean in the situation they are in now, if they were to get into an accident they should sue the county for making them unable to drive a vehicle that would have safly held all of them.

I guess you can see, that I really don't think that the blame lies with my family member...its more with the county I suppose. Anyway, I plan to talk it over with him this weekend. I doubt anything will come of it though. I don't really think he cares all that much. He just doesn't see things like the rest of us do. (kinda like the guy who lets his kids ride in the back of the truck )

Thanks everyone!

[MelMel]

I received a newsletter in the mail from healthy start, or some organization like that (as dd is on medicaid) they send them to me every so often, filled with 'great' info on whatever stage your kiddo is in. well, we got the 24-36 month one a few days ago (dd is only 19 months, someone made a boo boo) and I was shocked to read the whole section on car safety. they stressed how important it was for the toddler to be in a seat belt, EVEN for short trips. thats it. I thought it was law that they had to be in car seats or boosters till like 40 or 60 pounds, but I guess thats just 'recommendations' (probably put out by the consumer products commision, lol..to keep us buying new stuff, which helps our kids maybe, but helps their bottom line even more)

I do agree that everyone makes safety decisions based on their knowledge, experience, and comfort level. I dont believe any laws should be applied here, as it isnt putting the greater public in danger, just yourself or your children (which isnt something I would put in danger, for the record ) but we cant force our beliefs on other's familys decisions. (disscussing it with them, and offering suggestions sounds good, though ) I would NEVER call an 'authority' as I make loads of parental decisions that others think are stupid, or risky..its all relative.

slowing down is the safest thing to do with kids in the car.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Originally Posted by MelMel

I was shocked to read the whole section on car safety. they stressed how important it was for the toddler to be in a seat belt, EVEN for short trips. thats it. I thought it was law that they had to be in car seats or boosters till like 40 or 60 pounds, but I guess thats just 'recommendations' (probably put out by the consumer products commision, lol..to keep us buying new stuff, which helps our kids maybe, but helps their bottom line even more)

Each state has their own laws. A nationally published newsletter (or one from a state without such strict laws) would have to present a relatively weak comment to fit all the legal differences. Though you would think they would at least make the recommendation that carseats/boosters are safest.

[3 Little Monkeys]

One good thing about where I am - it's the law that kids I believe 6 yr or 60 pounds must be in a carseat or booster and EVERYONE must be in a seatbelt. If you only have 5 seatbelts then there better be no more than 5 people in the car. My BIL used to live about a half mile from MIL and FIL and he used to drive the kids home with the baby in his lap - carseat in the back seat BTW

OP ~ I hope your family members are able to get this resolved somehow.

[menudo]

Up until 3 years ago the New Jersey law was 18 months or younger must be seat belted in...yep! Now it is 8 years or 80 pounds.

Needless to say, none of my extended family will use seat belts or car seats. Well they all put infant in car seats but REFUSE to buckle them in-no lie! Hence, they hate me b/c since about 11 yo I refused to drive with them if they had been drinking- I'd stay put (and I was a big girl!!! lol) They can't comprehend why I want us all buckled in...

[CerridwenLorelei]

is that site

updated?
because as of Sept 1 2003 the 80lbs booster seat law went into effect ( I have a relative in the Texas DPS)
and I was told by the officer up the street that dd must have the shoulder belt if she is up front since she is under 12
And of course we have the new Click It or Ticket law. If they get stopped and are not all buckled it will be a fine. SOunds like they can't afford another financial ding)

[eilonwy]

In my state, it's 8 years and 80 pounds, which is why booster seats for kids over 80 pounds are suddenly available everywhere.

My sister has many friends who are lax and/or clueless about carseat safety. I've seen her give carseats away to people who needed them, and install them correctly just because she couldn't live with herself if anything happened to their babies. In some ways she's clueless, but in this particular case, she's right on. I'm not even sure why she's such a fanatic about this, just that she always has been.