I can't believe I am 24, have 2 kids, and preparing to file for divorce from a near 7 year marraige.
I am new the this forum. DH and I have been married almost 7 years. It has been alot of years of fighting and trying to work things out. We have 2 beautiful children too. I admit, we have never had the perfect relationship, but I had no idea things where "unbearable" for my DH. Last year in June he began saying things like "I feel so alone" and "I'm just not happy here". Mostly he was tired of feeling like our then 2 year old was higher on the todem pole than he was. He was jealous of our child! He hated that I was always taking care of DS and not him??? He was jealous that I stayed home while he worked and was a full time college student. He felt the time I spent w/ him wasn't enough and that he supported me financially and I wasn't supportive to him. Then I found out he wanted a realationship w/ his coworker. At the time I was 7 month pregnant w/ our daughter. It was hard, and very stressful. He ended up quiting his job and being unemployed for 6 months. I thought we had worked thru alot of our problems.
I guess I was wrong. Last tuesday he started saying all of the same things too me. 11 months later and I hear the same story?? But this time he as told me that he hasn't been inlove w/ me for 2 years. I feel like the last 2 years of my life have been a lie. Our kids are 3 1/2 and 9 months. He has also admitted that he just isnt' ready for a "big family". WTF???? My head has been spinning for 10 days now. He swears there is noone else this time, but you know what? I don't care! We have had problems from the beggining. I am sick of this!
I know everything isn't his fault. I have a quick temper, and I know how to push his buttons. But he is very controlling, verbally abusive, and did I meantion CONTROLLING! He says most of his dissatisfaction in our marriage comes from the limitations I have set in the bedroom. Yes, I have set limitations, because I endured alot of abuse as a child. There are some "things" I just cannot do.
Other than that he claims I am not supportive enough. He wants us to sell our home and move cross country to California to be w/ his family for support. I think this would be a really STUPID move for me because his family is supportive of him, NOT me! Why would I sell our home, leave everyone I know, to follow a man that has admitted he doesn't love me to live w/ his family?
He continues to tell me I am worthless, and he is sick of supporting me (ha!). He says I will never find anyone else that loves me like him (again, HA!). Then he says "Are you going to hit me up for child support?" HIT HIM UP!!!!! They are his children! Why wouldn't he help support them??? Urg!
And what really just pissed me off and was the last straw was that I was in a car accident yesterday. I had asked him to watch the kids while I took 1 hour for myself. He told me not to leave, but I really needed a break. I was only 5 minutes from home when someone hit me. My car was totalled, but I am ok. He didn't even ask if I was OK. He just said "I told you not to leave home"
I really need to scream! I just don't understand how this is my life...
I think the worst part of it all is that I came out of college because both of us working and going to school was too much. We agreed that as soon as he was done, I would go to school. Well he graduated last friday. Now he has plans to leave! How could I be so stupid?
And he keeps going back and forth on leaving and staying. I wish he would leave. I have hit my BullS limit for this relationship. I can take no more. NO MORE!!!!
Thanks ladies for listening to my rant. I just don't know where to get started on this new life I have to start. Single w/ 2 kids? No career (though I am planning to enroll in real estate school this week), and little/no family support. I feel like I am too young to be going thru this. And I apologize for my jumpled rant
I am new the this forum. DH and I have been married almost 7 years. It has been alot of years of fighting and trying to work things out. We have 2 beautiful children too. I admit, we have never had the perfect relationship, but I had no idea things where "unbearable" for my DH. Last year in June he began saying things like "I feel so alone" and "I'm just not happy here". Mostly he was tired of feeling like our then 2 year old was higher on the todem pole than he was. He was jealous of our child! He hated that I was always taking care of DS and not him??? He was jealous that I stayed home while he worked and was a full time college student. He felt the time I spent w/ him wasn't enough and that he supported me financially and I wasn't supportive to him. Then I found out he wanted a realationship w/ his coworker. At the time I was 7 month pregnant w/ our daughter. It was hard, and very stressful. He ended up quiting his job and being unemployed for 6 months. I thought we had worked thru alot of our problems.
I guess I was wrong. Last tuesday he started saying all of the same things too me. 11 months later and I hear the same story?? But this time he as told me that he hasn't been inlove w/ me for 2 years. I feel like the last 2 years of my life have been a lie. Our kids are 3 1/2 and 9 months. He has also admitted that he just isnt' ready for a "big family". WTF???? My head has been spinning for 10 days now. He swears there is noone else this time, but you know what? I don't care! We have had problems from the beggining. I am sick of this!
I know everything isn't his fault. I have a quick temper, and I know how to push his buttons. But he is very controlling, verbally abusive, and did I meantion CONTROLLING! He says most of his dissatisfaction in our marriage comes from the limitations I have set in the bedroom. Yes, I have set limitations, because I endured alot of abuse as a child. There are some "things" I just cannot do.
Other than that he claims I am not supportive enough. He wants us to sell our home and move cross country to California to be w/ his family for support. I think this would be a really STUPID move for me because his family is supportive of him, NOT me! Why would I sell our home, leave everyone I know, to follow a man that has admitted he doesn't love me to live w/ his family?
He continues to tell me I am worthless, and he is sick of supporting me (ha!). He says I will never find anyone else that loves me like him (again, HA!). Then he says "Are you going to hit me up for child support?" HIT HIM UP!!!!! They are his children! Why wouldn't he help support them??? Urg!
And what really just pissed me off and was the last straw was that I was in a car accident yesterday. I had asked him to watch the kids while I took 1 hour for myself. He told me not to leave, but I really needed a break. I was only 5 minutes from home when someone hit me. My car was totalled, but I am ok. He didn't even ask if I was OK. He just said "I told you not to leave home"
I think the worst part of it all is that I came out of college because both of us working and going to school was too much. We agreed that as soon as he was done, I would go to school. Well he graduated last friday. Now he has plans to leave! How could I be so stupid?
And he keeps going back and forth on leaving and staying. I wish he would leave. I have hit my BullS limit for this relationship. I can take no more. NO MORE!!!!
Thanks ladies for listening to my rant. I just don't know where to get started on this new life I have to start. Single w/ 2 kids? No career (though I am planning to enroll in real estate school this week), and little/no family support. I feel like I am too young to be going thru this. And I apologize for my jumpled rant