Cesarean Birth and Recovery SUPPORT Thread 11 (MAY 2004)

[OnTheFence]

Our other thread was 200 posts long and 11 pages, time to start another one.


This is a the Cesarean Support and Recovery Thread. This is not a thread for debate or judgement of our choices or necessity of cesarean.

All are welcome to post!

[OnTheFence]

Ok, roll call!!!I think KKmama has some news for us. Where is she???

[Henry's_Mamma]

Originally Posted by OnTheFence

That is a dilema. I don't know what to say. I am sorry. IS there a more VBAC friendly hospital around?

Yes and no. Here in NJ, land of exborbitant med. mal. premiums, the VBAC friendly insitutions are slowly becoming unfriendly basically by adding more and more required interventions (they say b/c of current medical evidence and ACOG guidelines, I say b/c their malpractice carriers require it in order to have coverage for VBACs). And I guess I feel, after being already subjected to a bunch of IMO unnecessary interventions and "rules" w/Henry's birth which lead, IMO, to a c/s, that if I'm going to be stuck in bed again, what's the point in suffering through a labor, ykwim? I really don't want a repeat c/s, though, if at all possible to avoid.

I'm still working through this, obviously. I must say, though, dh has come full circle. He actually asked what the rules for HBAC were in NY (since his parents have a house there). Go dh! I'm looking into that now (if anyone knows, let me know). My only reluctance there is that in the case of transport, its at least 15-20 miles to a VBAC equipped hospital. But that may not be fatal if HBAC is legal.

We're also looking into some options in NYC (where dh works). There are some very good, supposedly very VBAC friendly, hospitals/centers there, and if no traffic, its less than an hour by car. (My thought is to make te trip during non-rush hour in earlish labor and then just labor in a museum or Central Park or something untl well into active labor -- crazy, I know).

I'm still investigating ... but thanks for letting me flush out my thoughts here.

Kkmama ... where are you? Inquiring minds want to know! (We're awful -- you're probably just enjoying your babymoon and we're harrassing you ).

[OnTheFence]

Amy,

Have you considered this scenario: Hiring a doula and labouring at home as long as possible and then going to the hospital. With an experienced doula or maybe you could hire a midwife to be your doula, you would be able to stay at home until the baby is fastly approaching. I know my friend did this, and had her baby within like 45 min of arrival. There was no time for intervention!

[its_our_family]

KKmama hasn't posted in almost a week. I would think that means baby is here!!!! I hope everything went well and she got what she had been hoping for!! to you!!!

I'm here by the way I feel like I've been Don't know why...but I do....

[rainbowmoon]

200 posts!?!? wowsers!

It's Our Family- What do you feel censored about mama?

Henry's_Mama- I would suggesst a doula and what OnTheFence suggested about laboring at home. Even if you do end up birthing in the hospital you are in charge of your birth no matter what. Good luck to you in your journey!

[its_our_family]

Why do I feel censored.... I feel like ppl judge what I say based on my method of birth and the fact that ppl consider me a fundamentalist....which I am NOT!

I was planning on laboring at home as long as possible and then showing up at a hospital with my doula....which was before my doula bailed and I chose repeat instead (which happened after my doula bailed btw...)

[shelbean91]

I'm going to join in here. I posted my birth story - here's the link for anyone who is interested. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=147221

I had 2 very uneventful vaginal deliveries with my first 2 kids- they were 5 weeks early and we had nursing issues, but deliveries went fine- totally natural.

This one caught me totally off guard. I'm comfortable that it was needed and I'm ok with it, but I still find myself playing monday morning quarterback to see if there was anything else I could have done differently. I really don't think so.

I looked at my birth plan after ds was born and there was almost nothing on it that actually went 'right'. My doc was awesome, though, and I believe didn't want the surgery as much as I didn't want it.

It's not the actual birth and delivery I'm having a hard time with, it's the recovery. By this time with my first 2, I felt great. Now, I'm still having a hard time getting up and down, I'm still walking very slowly, and I still can't pick up my other kids. That's the part that's hard for me-the physical side of it.

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by its_our_family

KKmama hasn't posted in almost a week. I would think that means baby is here!!!! I hope everything went well and she got what she had been hoping for!! to you!!!

I'm here by the way I feel like I've been Don't know why...but I do....

Please do not feel censored. And please voice your concerns to Cynthia. I want to say that I told Cynthia today in PM that I do not feel a Cesarean Section Board would be in the best interest of MDC. I think it would cause so much division and I believe some people would take things to an extreme to make a point or abuse other posters. While I am open to debate, talk about the high csection rate, having better birthing practices, etc etc etc -- I don't think I can stomach anyone or myself being used as a way for someone to sound off. I hope none of you are pissed that I now feel this way, I know I am one who advocated for a forum, but I just don't think its right anymore.

[pamamidwife]

Hey, Mamas, just letting you know that KKMama did have her baby - a VBAC. She posted in the due date thread. I had to search for her name to find the post!

OK, that's it. Just wanted to say that - and that I'm glad that there is this thread. Really glad.

[OnTheFence]

Thank you Pam for giving us such wonderful news and hugs!

[kimberlylibby]

Hi all!

Since I'm the one who started the drama thread defending this support thread, perhaps I should actually post here

I'm going to have a repeat c/s in July for this little babe. I'm actually at peace with it, but wasn't at first... and I've finally reached 100% peace with my first c/s. With eclampsia/hellp/abruption there was no other choice.

I am a little nervous because my epi didn't work very well and I felt a LOT of the c/s last time... but I'm hoping the spinal works better.

I am also very worried about hospital policy.... last time they took my very healthy newborn to the nursery for FOUR hours before I saw her because that's hospital policy for c/s..... despite no health issues.... and I'd like to nurse ASAP... but I'm having issues with sticking up for myself on this one....

My daughter didn't latch until 10 weeks old and I think part of it was that she didn't get offered the breast for SO long, you know?

Anyway, I need to discuss this with my ob soon. I'm also having my tubes tied during my c/s and I want to know if anyone has had that? Did it make your recovery any longer?

[rainbowmoon]

woohoo kkmama! congrats to you on your VBAC and your new babe!

shelbean-welcome..thanks for sharing your story..I totally know how you feel about recovery time. I felt great when I came home from the hospital but was shocked to learn I could barely bend over for weeks! (picking up ds just to change his diaper was torture not to mention holding him hurt my belly!) We had lots of family visiting but since I looked fine I think they all assumed I was fine..My parents did help out alot with cleaning and stuff though. My advice is rest as much as you possibly can, as the more you do the quicker you will recover..I know that's probably not the easiest though with 3 kiddos! (I had a hard enough time with a newborn!) Do you have someone helping you out with your other children? btw seems like there's quite a few of us AZ mamas here on this thread too..(I'm down near Tucson)

it'sourfamily- i'm sorry you are feeling censored..I do kind of know how you feel. In most of my *natural* (mostly UC & HB) birthy forums I frequent I feel like I must not talk about my c/s less I be judged for the decisions I made or just an inferior tone I feel that I did not end up with a natural childbirth so I must be ignorant or something..even here I feel the same way, though I've found the most support through this thread..you know what I've decided though? it's my birth and I have chosen to own my experience, so let people think whatever they want, they were not at my birth..YKWIM? (I know that it's definitly easier said than done at times though.)

kimberlibby- it was our hospital's policy that there is no rooming in with your baby until after a mandatory 4 hour visit to the nursery (they don't take the babe until 2 hours spent in recovery with mom though). My MW's however really stressed the point to us that he's our babe & we can do what we want with him. They can't MAKE you send him to the nursery (though the MW's did warn us there might be retaliation on the nurse's part) we only had 1 nurse that was a snot ( not because of rooming in though but because we asked her if we could store our placenta in the fridge) though another interrogated us in the hallway while I was being wheeled to my room from recovery why I didn't want baby bathed (like he was diseased or something..arghh.literaly she chased us down the hall.lol.), the rest were real sweeties and gave us no problems at all. Anyway my point is, it's your babe and hospital policy is not always set in stone. also can you get an LC to come help you at your hospital? Mine was definitly why I am still BF today (even is spite of supplementing & supply issues- though mine was due to illness and another hospitalization not the c/s)

[CharlieBrown]

hi,
just checking in. i've had three c/s. i lurked for four plus years, learning, before i posted for the first time. when i found this thread i realized i finally"fit" here. thanx. will write more later.

[its_our_family]

YAY KKmama!!! I KNEW she could do it!!! I can't wait to hear the story!

OTF--I told CM that about the c/b forum about 3 months ago. I don't think its a good idea either and if it were to happen it would need about 4 mods to keep an eye on it...kwim??

[JeanetteL]

Hi everyone,
I sincerely hope it is okay for me to post here. I am a doula, (fairly new, I only started last fall) and have had two clients thus far have c/s - one much more traumatic and unexpected than the other. I also have a client who is due in early June. She hopes for a VBAC, but her doctor is not all that supportive, and her repeat c/s is scheduled for three days later. We've talked about her visualizing all three possible scenarios (successful VBAC, scheduled c/s or c/s after labouring) and I've asked her to focus on imagining herself being in charge in each situation, I want her to feel empowered no matter what happens.

Because of her situation, and because of how hard it was for me when my first two clients had c/s (because I cared about them and knew that the birth was not what they had hoped for)- I would like to ask permission to lurk on your thread, to try and gain some knowledge that can help me when I am supporting a client and a c/s becomes necessary for whatever reason. How can I help my clients plan an empowering c/s (or at least prepare for the eventuality if it looks like a real possibility)?

The hospital I've worked at also has the "mandatory" four hour recovery period in the nursery. For one of my clients this was not a problem, her recovery was rocky and she wasn't ready to be with her baby, and for the second, the baby had a low glucose stick, so they brought her to recovery long enough for a leisurly nurse and cuddle. However, how can my clients get around this in the future? I'd love to hear from some of you who have managed to circumvent that rule. Do you have any other specific suggestions for things that commonly come up and should be addressed prenatally or before the decision is made during labour?

Also, after the c/s (especially in the case of an unexpected or traumatic c/s)- what can I do to help my clients process the event and emotionally recover?

Again, I hope it is not inappropriate for me to post here, and don't worry at all about telling me if you'd prefer I posted these questions somewhere else.

Jeanette

[annethcz]

A quick note on the 4 hour seperation policy- in some hospitals, the reasoning for this is that the recovery nurses are only in charge of mom. There may not be anyone trained in neonatal resuscitation to look after the baby 'just in case.' A doula friend of mine told me about a client she had that recently got out of the seperation period when the parents signed a consent form indicating that they wouldn't hold the hospital accountable if anything happened to the baby.

Point being, if you can find out WHY the policy exists, you may be able to find a way around the policy.

[rainbowmoon]

Jeanette- I don't mind your questions. I'm actually a student doula, so I look forward to anyone's imput on the subject as well. I think for me the key to my having a positive experience (even though it was far from the birth I'd planned) was that everyone around me was super respectful and never pressured me. I think the best thing you can do to help your clients recover is to listen and validate thier experience..even if they want to go over it 20 times. I know talking about it helps process the experience and with a new baby most family and friends are focused on the baby and not how the mom actually feels. I think this is when we hear comments like "well at least baby is healthy" (I think that's the WORST thing anyone could tell a post c/s mom IMHO).

[beautyful]

Hiya! I'm new to this thread... I had an unplanned c/b in March, and I am still dealing with the emotional issues resulting. I had wanted to have natural birth. The short version of events is that I had been diagnosed with pre-eclampsia around 38 weeks. I was on partial bedrest and the baby had not engaged. My water broke at 39 weeks, 5 days. I was ordered to stay in the bed because of the worry of prolapsed cord. She never engaged and 26ish hours later I had the Cesarean. She had a double nuchal cord that the doctor said was tight. I lost a TON of blood (I was anemic to begin with) and actually stayed on antibiotics for 4 days.

I'm still having a lot of issues, because it was ultimately up to me about when to have the Cesarean. I was allowed to labour for 12 hours in the hospital, but I felt pressure towards saying "yes". (Of course, I was MISERABLE being in the bed that whole time.) I feel like I have to convince myself it was necessary to have it. Am I alone in this?

[Piglet68]

I'm surprised at how many places have this 4 hour thing going.

I birthed my DD in Boston. Because I knew ahead of time that I was going to have a C/S, I checked all the policies before picking a hospital. Boston is actually very progressive, and most hospitals there were certified "breastfeeding friendly". This includes allowing C/S moms immediate access to their babies for bonding and post-birth BFing/latching, so long as there is no emergency following the birth that requires a NICU transfer.

So, one possibility is to check to see if there are other, more progressive hospitals in your area.

If changing hospitals is not an option, then I agree with what everyone else here said: it's your baby, and they can't take her away if you don't want it. But do try to make this clear ahead of time. Talk to your OB and the head nurse at your hospital. Births are BIG BUCKS for hospitals, and if you threaten to take your business elsewhere you just might get something.

I wouldn't stand for it, myself. I know how important that early bonding time is. Just make it clear that you won't be following that policy.