When did your kids start picking their clothes out for themselves???

[Saiahma]

My DS is 6 and refuses to pick out his own clothes when he gets dressed in the morning. Not that I won't do it, but I hear a lot of kids pick out a favorite shirt or something. I think I may have influenced this unintentionally Not that I'm a walking fashion plate, but I usually spend a while picking out my clothes for work, etc...If I ask DS to pick something out he whines " I don't know what matches!" Once a few weeks ago I told him I'd just REALLY like him to try, I mean he noramally just wears jeans or khaki's and whatever shirt (most of them match anything....) He came out of his room in ALL blue (underwear, dress socks?, blue jogging pants and a blue shirt) I thanked him for doing it himself, but an hour later he asked me to pick something else out because he didn;t think it looked good When did your kids start picking out their own cllothes???

[Viola]

Mine insisted on picking out her clothes at a young age, even if they didn't match or they were too small or not for the right weather. I tried putting away some of the too small clothing, but she would ask for the stuff by description. She loves clothes once they are past the right size.

If I brought her an outfit to put on, half the time she wouldn't want it, so I had to always give 2 or 3 choices and even then she might want something else, and still want to change outfits an hour later.

Fortunately, she's mostly past that now. She will actually get herself dressed too, sometimes. Usually she wants me there in some capacity. For awhile, when she was 3, she would get up, get dressed and then come to our bedroom and sit outside the door. Then when she was 4 reverted and started staying in her bedroom, yelling for us, and was not able to get herself dressed at all. Although she did retain the right of refusal for any outfit I chose, which was aggravating to me.

I have kind of made a big deal about stuff that matches, especially since there is stuff that clearly matches and stuff that doesn't. If she wanted to wear stuff that didn't match, I tried to be cool about it, but I'd mention stuff matching as I picked it out. She got this idea that stuff only matches if it is the same color, and would throw a fit about wearing red pants with her red shirt even though they were different shades of red, and the accent color in the shirt matched another pair of pants beautifully. So I told her that nothing really has to match at all, and if there are colors in a dress or shirt, they can match another color, or she can just wear whatever she likes.

It sounds like your ds definitely has some ideas about what looks good together. My dd would think she was beautiful in an all blue suit. Do you think other children might have commented on his clothing at some point?

[mamalisa]

Hehe, my ds was probably 2 1/2. He's a little fashion plate. Usually I pick out his clothes, lay them on his bed and tell him to go get dressed. If I set out shorts and a tee, he will often come out wearing khakis, a belt, a tee and another shirt, button down, open. It's funny because neither dh or I are like that at all.

When you fold laundry or put clothes away can you point out the things that match, what looks good together? I've kept ds's stuff pretty simple, almost everything matches. He will come out of his room and say, "does this match me?" If it does, great, if it doesn't he will usually wear it anyway, just because he likes it. Though it's a little cuter at 3 1/2 to not match (I'm thinking other 6 year olds might not be very kind sometimes) I would really try to encourage him to wear what he wants and not to worry so much if it looks right, just as long as he's comfortable.

[kerc]

ummm 14 months. literally. now honestly she's not a fashion plate or anything, but there are days when she refuses to wear what I pick out and will only put on the pants she picked out.

in your situation --- can you somehow put outfits together...ie. hang pants and shirts together, put shorts and tshirts in a big ziplock bag (recyle the bags each week). Let him pick out socks that match. Then as he gets better at picking something -- maybe he could put the outfits together? Putting together five outfits each week would help him learn to organize himself -- I always pick out my clothes the night before. I am too dang overwhelmed in the morning and end up trying on like 6 different pairs of pants.

It sounds like he might be overwhelmed with too many choices and very aware that clothes have a "look" to them.

[famousmockngbrd]

My DS has had a definite opinion on what he wants to wear for a few months now (he's one and a half). Unfortunately, unlike your DS he has no fashion sense whatsoever! Although who knows, he may be all the rage among other toddlers at the playground. :LOL He likes to wear his rubber rain boots with a diaper (no pants) and a zip-up sweatshirt, for instance. Or he'll want to wear 3 shirts at once (I kid you not). He also has an orange M&M Hallowe'en costume he is partial to. Often he wants to take off the pajamas he wore to bed and put on another pair of pajamas. :LOL I actually wish he would just let me dress him, or at least have some acceptable idea of what looks good! I am embarassed to be seen with him sometimes.

[eilonwy]

Eli's been picking out his own clothing since he could walk and carry something. He doesn't always, but sometimes he'll decide he wants to wear something and I'll put it on him. It's not a big deal.

I have a niece who refuses to wear an outfit that doesn't "match". All of her clothing is in sets, and gets put on hangers together; a t-shirt and shorts, a l/s shirt and pants and a sweater/sweatshirt/jacket, sweatshirt & sweatpants (in the same color; "coordinating" only works for patterns). She will get absolutely hysterical if her clothing doesn't match, or if you suggest that she wear a different shirt/pair of jeans/pair of shorts/etc. So mom puts all her clothing on hangers in sets, and she picks out which set she wants to wear.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by famousmockngbrd

I actually wish he would just let me dress him, or at least have some acceptable idea of what looks good! I am embarassed to be seen with him sometimes.

T: I've always wondered about this: Why? Anyone who's had a toddler knows that most of them will do this at some point. I'm always thrilled to see a kid who's happy with everything and wearing clothing that he obviously picked out himself. Kids are so much more comfortable that way. My only provision is that the clothing be weather-appropriate, so I just put away all the stuff that isn't.

[Soontobe3]

My ds is almost 12 and he still doesn't like to pick out his own clothes. I try to get his entire wardrobe to co-ordinate so it won't be such a huge overwhelming for him


my dd, however - at 3 - has her own ideas already about what to wear on a daily basis! Even for bed!

[famousmockngbrd]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

T: I've always wondered about this: Why?

I'm not *really* embarassed to be seen with him, I was just kidding. I know every parent out there has had to go grocery shopping with a kid wearing a Batman costume at some point in their lives, lol. I do kinda wish he'd let me dress him though, just because he looks so cute when he is wearing an actual outfit. And sometimes it's hard for me to let him put on a sweatshirt or 3 shirts when it's 90 degrees outside and I know he's going to be broiling hot in about 30 seconds. But, I do. He'll figure it out, and whatever - it's his body to decorate as he sees fit.

One time I saw a kid walking down the street with his mom, wearing nothing but underoos, cowboy boots and a holster. His mom had a very resigned look on her face, lol. I think of that mom often.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

My 4 1/2 YO is sort of 1/2 & 1/2 with this. I usually ask him "Do you want to pick your cloths today or should I?" Its hard to guess which one he will chose. We started this about age 3, I think. I just make sure he doesn't have anything in his drawers I don't want him to wear and everything else is OK. He's not very good at matching things, but I don't really care, so it works out. My 15 mo. old hasn't shown any signs of wanting to pick yet. Which is good because her drawers are a mess and she'd never find anything. I have got to have a "closet cleaning day" very soon!

[LunaMom]

My daughter is almost 5 1/2 and she still doesn't care if I pick out her clothes for her. I do ask for her opinion - "Do you want to wear the purple shirt or the blue shirt? Jeans or leggings?" - but honestly, if I just leave clothes out for her at night, she puts them on in the morning without complaint.

I do try to take her shopping for clothes, though, and let her pick out things she likes.

I wouldn't complain if I were you - not to minimize your problem, but it's probably a lot easier than a child who insists on wearing the same dinosaur shirt every single day!

[kerc]

So here's my take on the kids wearing what they want, when they want....
I feel like letting them is teaching them how to choose clothing. And being picky about what goes with what is really reinforcing that they should care what other people think about how they look. Now don't get me wrong -- my kid doesn't wear a swimsuit in winter and she may absolutely not wear something covered in dinner to bed (defeats the purpose of the bath, kwim?). But I am a strong advocate for letting kids learn how to take care of themselves. That has to include picking out clothing.

I was so proud of myself in kindergarten because on valentines day I wore a red shirt, white socks and pink pants -- you know for valentines day.

I should probably add that we do have days where I want erin to wear something special -- but I try to make the "special" outfits things she'll like -- easy to put on, comfy fabrics, etc. It helps that I sew most of erin's clothes.

[Moon]

I usually let the kids pick out whatever they want.

If we're going somewhere "nice" and I want them to look nice for ME, I usually give them two or three options, all of which are ok with me, and let them choose from them. I haven't gotten any grief yet.

But I AM having trouble with my now 11 yo wanting to wear stuff that's too small. I put it away and she goes and drags it back out.

[Mere]

nak

dd has been picking out her own clothing since...right aroung her second bday i think. she has no comprehension of matching, and therefore it's pure luck if she puts on an outfit that actually looks good! with her there are way bigger battles to fight so i just go with it, but yeah, on a superficial level it makes me a little sad because i just unpacked all these cute summer clothes. ah well...on the other hand, it is interesting to see her preferences starting to develop.

from the other posters i see that even 6 year olds have a hard time with matching...sigh...i guess we have several more years of her looking kinda funny! at least i have a new babe to dress though - i can get my cute clothes fix thru him!

[lab]

My 10 year old ds still wants me to pick out his clothes!

So does my 8.5 year old dd. UGH! Mornings are a pain!

OTOH - My ds6.5 loves picking out his clothes. He changes several times a day and definately has his own style. The clothes he picks are very stylish - he has his own innate sense of style - He is soooo cool!

[Dodo]

My two-year-old dd started picking out her clothes at twelve months. This is both a burden and a blessing. I'm actually afraid to go clothes shopping for her because I can never be sure that she will accept to wear what I buy. She rejected two brand-new outfits just last week. She also goes through phases where she wants to wear the same dress, day in, day out.

[lorijds]

I let my kids for the most part pick their clothes (they are 6 and 9). I only intervene for circumstances like Moon, where my 9 yo wants to wear clothes that are too small (to the point of being inappropriate in my opinion), or if I want them to look nice for me (selfish but true--this is rare but occurs, and I readily admit it). Also, in circumstances where I know my kiddo wants to look nice (like a music recital) but misses the boat.

My kids get so many clothes from their grandmas (only grandkids on my side, only granddaugthers until recently on my dh's side) that their drawers are overflowing. So, if there is an outfit or shirt that I hate, I typically get rid of it. They rarely even notice.

When we do go shopping, usually at a second hand store, I let them pick out the clothes, within reason. I never have the final say, though. IF they don't like it, or are cool to it, I don't buy it. History has taught me that it will NEVER be worn.

Lately it has been fairly easy. In the winter, dd #1 typically likes black and gray....almost everything matches in her drawers in the winter! (she is a suffering angst-ridden writer in training). Dd#2 likes pink and purple; once again, everything matches, no problems.

I used to be a little more controlling, until dh sided against me completely one day in a heated discussion about what dd#1 was going to wear to school. He pointed out that, a) not only do I have an "interesting" sense of fashion, but b) I *still* pick clothes that I know irritate my mom when I know we are getting together, even though I am 32 years old. It was such an issue for my mom, that I spend alot of energy trying to pick outfits that I like *and* that I know she won't like when we go to visit. He really felt I had no room to judge (and he was right) and pointed this out to me, in front of the kids. So now, whenever I get too controlling, one of them always reminds me that I am grooming them to pick clothes just to annoy me (these were dh's words, that they picked up on and have repeated for years now) and I typically back off rather sheepishly.