I am very, very sorry though to hear that you had such a bad experience when you were younger. The fact that you were not able to find counseling to help you make the decision that was right for you really saddens me.
Actually, for me more sad than not being able to "find" counseling is the fact that the clinics offer a so called counseling appointment, of which you have to attend, and it is nothing of the sort...
it's more of a short q and a with a psychologist (employed by the clinic), and signing a paper that you were told about the benefits and risks of abortion, (of which some medical risks are left out and emotional ones aren't even mentioned). As far as alternatives to the abortion, well I know there weren't any references to maternity homes, midwifery care, further counseling, mentoring, etc. And don't you think these psychs are trained to know which young women are in there and not 100%sure if abortion is the right thing to do?
Enough about me, this is not really about me.
Something I can't stand is "every child should be a wanted child", I see those stickers on cars and want to scream. To me that is more romanticism than actually continuing on with an unplanned pregnancy, even you are unsure of the future. I am not ignorant of how difficult it is to continue a pregnancy that "others" feel is not the right thing for you. Even if you are not sure it is the right thing for yourself. Believe me, there is nothing romantic about learning 6 months into a relationship that you are going to be unprepared parents much sooner than you would like. That statement about every child being wanted reeks of controlling other people and making them feel that if the child was initially unplanned, it is somehow unwanted. Because in America we equate the term "wanted" with planned and prepared for, this is what we teach youth - plan for everything, right? So the statement sends an automatic negative message to the woman when she finds herself in an unplanned pregnancy.
I agree that a pregnant woman using drugs, hurting herslef and her baby in utero because of addiction or external abuse she cannot get away from is a legit reason for having to end a pregnancy.
But I don't apply that same logic to a young girl even a woman having sex, getting pregnant and unsure of where to go from there, (and then to her surprise,) being bombarded with the logic that all women need to have finished school or college first, they need to be married, or they need to be older more mature, must have a direction first. I could go on a and on about all those clinic posters and commercials that reek of telling women how their life must be "before" having a baby. And I know it affects young thinking, even middle age thinking if you haven't accomplished all those things yet in life.
Sure this would be ideal, have all your life plan straightened out before having a baby, but that is just not reality for most of the women of childbearing age - at least in the western world where all of the "proper" preparations and accomodations for a baby take half your life to accumulate! (I am being sarcastic, my personality downfall
I just don't like to se ads of any kind that sway people in one direction or another. As far as I know, we don't have a shortage of abortions in this country, or govmnt assistance in paying for one either if you cannot afford it. Abortion is the first thing listed in the yellow pages for crying out loud. Even if you decide to go full term and then give up your baby you can drop it at a hospital no q's asked!
I really don't think that people don't know how to obtain an abortion or where to go for info or to get one that same week if they choose to. I just think that plain and simple there are too many messages sent along with advertising it that sway people into making that choice. I think most people know they have a choice, many women have excersised that choice freely and are still complaining about it being taken away someday. I don't ever see that happening and IMO we are far from it.