Strangers touching my baby without my permission!

[coolchic101]

My dh and I took our 6 month old son to the museum the other day and when 2 different strangers admired my baby and before I knew it they petted my son's head without our permission! This infuriates us! Has this happened to any of you guys? Strangers touching your babies without your permission? What can we do to prevent this from happening in the future?

[LunaMom]

I don't think you can ever stop people from wanting to touch your baby, and I agree - it is annoying as hell.

You can try to head them off by saying that he is getting over being sick, or that he has extreme stranger anxiety, or something like that, but honestly, I always prefer the direct approach: "Please don't touch my baby, thank you."

Unfortunately, women in our society are afraid to be direct and labeled as a "bitch," but really, who cares?

Carrying your baby in your arms or a sling tends to ward off unwelcome touches more than pushing a baby in a stroller, too.

[guestmama9924]

well when I was pg , and someone would rub my belly, I would just do it right back. Oh the looks I got were priceless:LOL
Perhaps do the same for your child!! and ITA, in a sling, this would rarely happen to my kids.

[Piglet68]

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I don't like strangers touching my baby. OTOH, it is almost always a sign of affection, of a love for babies, and I want to encourage that (we need more of that in our society!). Plus, it is very often a cultural thing. Americans aren't as touchy feely as some other cultures, so it must be taken in that context as well.

I found a sling was a great way to keep hands off my baby, but at the same time, I really didn't mind too much if they touched a tiny hand or foot...I mean c'mon...babies are so irresistably cute!!

[Evergreen]

I agree with Piglet. Though, after reading these boards and noticing other people hate it when people touch their babies, I always ask before I do it.

However I think it is is bad taste to
touch a newborn without permission
kiss a baby
pinch cheeks (or other parts)
Physically take a baby out of a mother's arms (yes, this has happened to me- an by a woman smoking a cigarette no less!)

[hunnybumm]

I don't really mind people touching Tristan. When he was a newborn it bothered me because I didn't want him getting sick, it seemed like he was sick like 5 times in the first 3 months. But now that he is older (almost 6 months) I don't mind at all. It is always some nice grandma, mother or mother to be and my DS just loves people. I also don't want him to afraid of people and to be welcome to new people since we are military and will probably be moving a bit. Also, my DS is the biggest ham! He flirts with people behind us in lines or if someone comes up to us he starts out a little shy then he getts the cuttest toothless grin.

If your is anything like mine then the "He doesn't like strangers" won't work. You could try and dodge them by pulling the stroller back (if he is in a stroller) so they get the hint with out you haveing to say anything. Or if he is in a sling just turn your body and smile at them, a suddel hint but stil friendly.

[magster]

Oh, I remember this so well!
I think most ppl had understood that new mothers don't want their kids kissed on the forehead/cheeks by complete strangers in the supermarket, in the park, etc., so what would happen again and again? People would kiss DD's HANDS, which she constantly was putting in her mouth, just like all other small babies. It would make me furious but usually DH would try to calm me down before I exploded.
Yeah, people do it because they like your child, but honestly, they should check with the mom first.

[flight]

This drove me crazy as well, and I was completely floored every time and didn't know what to say. Touching cute little toes is one thing, but one guy actually grabbed a big handful of bum! (I realized afterward it would have been fun to see the reactions if I had said very loudly, "Please don't grab my son's bum.")

Since I never came up with snappy responses at the time, I usually just tried to keep DS physically out of reach. The sling worked best for this.

[tracymom]

I'm with Piglet on this one; I have very mixed feelings about it.

I love, love, love babies and if I feel particularly COMPELLED to touch I generally only gently pat the little leg. But I try very hard to be sensitive to the parents' feelings. I probably would only do it after standing and talking to someone for a while. Normally I just goo-goo gaa-gaa kind of talk to the babies.

I never really minded if somebody touched mine on the head or leg, but it would probably freak me out if they tried to kiss them. I would NEVER do that to a stranger's baby. I barely do it to the next door neighbor's baby I keep twice a month! If I feel like I have to kiss her, I kiss the top of her little head.

[velochic]

Spend some time in Turkey and you'll get over it quickly. I was exactly where you are when dd was a baby. After spending some time in Istanbul (where dh is from), I really got over it. In Turkey, dd was touched, coddled, etc. every 5 seconds. I am truly not exaggerating. Women would stop in their tracks and start touching dd and exclaiming things like "I would die for your beauty" and "All the angels in heaven weep at your beauty". It's just a Turkish affectation, but they have to rave over EVERY baby this way. It's just cultural. I did get over it. Just smiled and nodded and quickly moved on my way. It has been better in recent visits because dd (toddler, now) goes about in a stroller instead of a sling and isn't so much at eye-level. Amazingly, she's never been touched once in the U.S.

[coolchic101]

I plan on using the sling from now on. Say you have big hooters and it is a people magnet. How would you feel if they just walked up to you, engage in some conversation and then before you know it, they start feelin up on your breasts because they were tempted without your permission?! Same for strangers touchin my baby. I have to work on being blunt to people in the future.

[MelMel]

Originally Posted by coolchic101

. How would you feel if they just walked up to you, engage in some conversation and then before you know it, they start feelin up on your breasts because they were tempted without your permission?! Same for strangers touchin my baby. I have to work on being blunt to people in the future.

:LOL :LOL


yes, but my child doesnt belong to me as much as she is one of the world like me. she is my contribution, i am only her caretaker. i dont mind if people touch her, or talk to her, or even hold her....i love that she can bring joy to people....and my kiddo needs human contact as well!

but everyone has their own comfort level

[phathui5]

I keep dd in the sling whenever we go out and it seems like people are always touching her feet (sticking out of the sling). She seems to like it and I don't mind if she doesn't.