Thinking of putting kids in school ~ wwyd?

[momto3g3b]

Hi! I could REALLY use some opinions/advice. Here's the situation:

I homeschool my 12 & 11 year olds. No problems there. I will continue to homeschool them, at their request/preference & because I believe it is the best choice for them.

I also have an almost-5 year old daughter with Asperger's, a 2.5 year old son with autism, a 2.5 year old daughter with moderate developmental delays and a 5.5 month old with some delays. All 4 kids are in therapy ~ OT for the baby, OT/ST/group for the other 3.

I am considering putting the twins and my almost-5 year old into public school for one year. The twins would go into special-ed preschool and my other daughter would be in kindergarten (half-days, not full days, I think).

I don't know, for sure, if I want to do this or not. I have to make up my mind sooner than later, however, since I'd have to set up IEP's for all 3 kids and get them done before school starts in August. My husband would prefer that I keep them at home and teach them myself, but he is willing to let me enroll them for a year if I think it is what I need to do. In other words, this is my decision because he's not getting involved or helping out in any way. Which is typical ~ he doesn't help with homeschooling our older kids, so I know he wouldn't help me with educating our younger kids.

So....I'm looking for opinions. The "pros" of putting them in school (as I see it right now) would be A) a short break for me each day, where I could concentrate on schooling my older 2 kids, B) they'd get their therapies at school, which would save me the time/gas ($$) driving them to their therapy clinic (I'd have just 1 trip per week, for the baby, versus going 4 days per week), C) they'd *maybe* learn some appropriate social skills, as well as being taught basic things (colors, shapes, letters, numbers for the preschoolers and how to read, write, do basic math, etc for the kindergartner). The "cons" would be A) getting involved with the public school system (lol), B) not knowing if the kids would be treated kindly or with compassion by their teachers, C) having to get them ready for school and transported to two different schools since I am not comfortable putting them on a bus (the special-ed pre-K program is at a different school than the kindergarten my daughter would attend), D) probably more illnesses since they'd be exposed to more sick kids, which would be the pits. We had zero illnesses this past year and I wouldn't look forward to my kids bringing gunk home, since if one kid gets sick, it usually makes the rounds and everyone winds up sick! So this is a BIG "con" in my book.

Hmm....I'm wondering if I could get my daughter enrolled at the same school as her siblings in order to make life easier for me (transporting to just one school).....anyone know anything about that?

One other concern: will the special-ed preschool be willing/able to make sure my kids don't get casein and red dye ~ 2 things they have sensitivities to and that cause horrid behaviors? Will they make sure they don't feed my kids goldfish crackers during snack time, for instance? Or will they feed them something (either accidentally or because they don't want to deal with a special diet) and then "forget" to tell me about it? Can I trust the school to adhere to the dietary restrictions my kids have?

Anyhow, I am just looking for opinions. To be honest, I am feeling really overwhelmed with life and that is the main reason I'm even considering putting any of my children into public school. Having 4 kids in therapy (11 hours total per week) and trying to make sure I do all of the sensory integration activities with 3 of them every 2-3 hours, ABA with 2 of them, special massaging and activities with the baby every day PLUS homeschooling the oldest 2 (not to mention the housework, laundry, grocery shopping, bill paying, doctor appointments, etc) has me feeling like an utter failure, because I just don't get it all done, EVER. I'm contemplating school for the younger 3 because I am hoping that the twins would learn the preschool skills they need and that my older daughter would learn how to read/write/do math and I wouldn't have to do it. Maybe that's a horrible attitude, but it is honestly where I'm at right now.

So.......if you have advice or an opinion you'd like to share, I'd really like to hear it!

Thanks so much,

[Artisan]

So sorry you're dealing with this.

My opinion is that with the autism-spectrum disorders you're talking about, your kids might actually do well in a public school setting. They could use the time to learn social interaction skills, if nothing else. And it sounds like you could use the break too.

[thoesly]

We have been very happy with our school district, but I know of some parents in neighboring districts who aren't as happy. You probably need to do some research -- check out your district's website, talk to the district special ed people (find out if your district does anything special for autism -- ours does), maybe even call the school you are looking at and meet with the principal and special ed people.

As for your pros list: A) the "break" is nice, especially since I have two younger ones getting therapies, too; B) having therapies at school means my son gets to use out-of-school time for "regular" kid things like swimming lessons; C) the social aspect has been significant for our son. He still doesn't initiate interactions, but he will go along with the other kids when they say, "Come on." They taught him how to play!

As for your cons list: A) getting involved with your public school system is a pleasure if you're in a good district (hence, the research); B) talk to the special ed people at the school you are looking at to see how kids are treated. There are bad teachers out there (I knew a couple when I was teaching), but I've never encountered one dealing with my kids); C) getting them ready in the morning can be hard, but they do adapt once the routine is in place. And even though we're not bussing, one special ed person suggested we might look into it for the future -- apparently, the bus acts as an extension of social activities for the autism kids (our district is big on autism); D) definitely more illnesses the first year.

As far as dietary restrictions, yes they do have to comply, but you may need to provide snacks. I do this with my son since he has so many issues, and it has never been a problem.

All that said, I do realize how fortunate I am to live where I do (Cherry Creek School District in Colorado). Again, do your research, and I wish you the best of luck.

Tara

[megincl]

Having taught in public school, I think that they can do wonders for children with special needs. I think, however, that it takes a parent being a MAJOR advocate for their child/ren in order for this to happen. I'd urge you to read up on special ed laws, both nationally and locally, to get clear on your rights, and to try it out for a year. THe schools have to, by law, provide what is best for your children. Often schools tell parents there isn't enough money, but you need to advocate for your child, to get what he or she needs. This can be a big pain, but matched with the right support services, I think children can blossom, particularly when they are well-integrated into regular ed settings (part time or full time).

good luck!
megin

[lauren]

momto3g3b, you might also want to post similarly in Special Needs Parenting, since there are many very saavy moms there who have kids with autism and are used to tackling the public schools on these issues. There are lots of posts on autism too.

[bonbon mama]

actually, public schools must only provide, "free and appropriate education" not the "best" for your child

[anythingelse]

Can you get respite care coming to your home to help out, our insurance paid for it when we needed it.
And then take your dchildren to one school for speech,ot, and what they need & then hs them the rest of the time? that may be easier then trying to have them there all day worrying about classroom things. You can have the isps done and then homeschool while the school provides therapy in Illinois I know that for sure, they have to let you. You can also try it and pull out while still receiving services to meet isp goals

HTH not confuses I would definately try to go observe before signing up for anything and finding a local support group through an area hospital for interaction with other moms to share concerns in person

(((HUG)))