G-Dawg's husband again...
I have a few comments about recent posts.
If you can negotiate a clear definition of his/her jobs, that is great. I do think there is merit, however, to the idea that there is no women's work or men's work, it is just work. (Lactating excluded). In small areas, DW and I have agreements. I don't usually do toilets, and she doesn't kill bugs that crunch. In the major areas, however, we are both capable of doing either job.
I think that we, as men, should get out of the mindset that the wife nurses, cares for, educates, entertains, feeds, bathes, and nurtures the children and as men we bring in a paycheck and lift heavy crap (as needed).
How can we say that we will just follow the example of how we were raised. My father was a TV addict who spent every moment at home in bed watching TV. He ate every meal in bed. VHS and Beta VCR's were wired to a night stand next to the bed. The remotes were velcroed to the wall. He always had q-tips, lotion, salt, fingernail clippers etc... right there so he would never have to get up. I am surprised there was no bedpan. He fully expected my mother to serve his meals to him in bed.
After a hard day at work, that sounds pretty good, until I remember that I am not a selfish pig!! I exercise my ability to choose a response to a stimulus and try to do what is best for my family.
Does that mean I don't have issues with TV? No. I can zone out like no other when I watch TV, so I CHOSE to go without cable. I CHOSE to keep the TV out of the bedroom. I CHOSE to play with my kids, change diapers and help clean the house. For the women out there...I CHOSE a wife that wouldn't enable me to act like my father.
I believe the OP was not about what specific tasks men do to help, but that we do something
to contribute while she is doing all of the work. My wife is very capable. I am positive she could get by without any help. I don't want my children raised to just get by. I want them to excel, and that will be most likely if we both do what we can. Don't fall into the trap of (this is what my parent modeled for me, so that is what I am going to do). If that is the case, heaven help my children because I am helplessly consigned to practice DP (detachment parenting) forever. Puh-leeze!
If she seems to do all of those things better than you, remember this:
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier. Not that the nature of the thing has changed, but our ability to do it has increased." -unknown to me