childcare--delivery and postpartum

[mamasboys4me]

if you have other children, what are your plans when the baby comes?

We have ..........no CLUE! I can't rely on my mother. We don't have any family that we are close to. We moved here a year ago, and don't have close friends that I could leave with my kids. We ALSO may be moving in the next few months. Soo frustrating to think about. My neighbor is super nice, the boys call her Granny Bonnie, and we visit often. I think if we are living here, I may ask her if she will stay with the boys.

Another thing I'm concerned about is help afterward. I'll have no one to help me. My dh can take off a week or so. But after that, whew! Three kids, getting one to preschool.... I was thinking of putting a bulletin at our church to ask for some teenage help and light cleaning for a few weeks.

So what are your plans??

[ared1]

I am so sorry! That sounds rough. I guess I have it very easy. I work FT but my mom watches my kids. She will come take care of them while I am at the hospital and watch my youngest while I am on maternity leave. I better go thank her now. I think finding someone from church is an excellent idea! I wish you the best of luck!

[momsmyjob]

I know how you feel. I'm in the same boat. My mother went on vacation on me during the time I was expecting.

If your comfortable with leaving them with Bonnie I would go ahead and ask her..give her advance notice and I'm sure she'll be glad Good luck!!

[BabyOsMommy]

Wow, Stacy. I do have plans, but that's because I'm incredibly fortunate to have my parents take ds for part the week after dh's week off work. And there's dh's family if I'm desperate. And I won't have anywhere I'll need to be.

With a newborn and two other kids, that will be tough! Can you afford to hire some help? Just for the daytime with the household stuff until you're feeling better and into a routine (ha ha, I said routine and newborn in the same thought pattern ). What about asking a college or university student to help you with your older ones for a few hours during the day for a break for you? You would have some time to interview and background check, and you'd be there the whole time...Don't know if those suggestions sound ludicrous, but I'm at a loss as to what else to help you out!

[AmandasMom]

Well, dd will be 4 when the baby is born. We've been trying to get her to start staying the night at grandma's so when the baby is born she can stay there while I'm in the hospital. But she doesn't want too, she says she only wants to sleep with mommy and daddy. I want her to be at the birth, but MIL will take her out of the room and stay with her if she isn't happy wiht it. So... since I live just 2 miles from the hospital, I think at night hubby will go home with her and my MIL can stay with me or I can stay alone in the hospital at night.

[indiegirl]

We are fortunate to have family and friends nearby. I am sorry you do not have a strong support system--moving must be very tough and lonely.

I would suggest calling around and see about finding help:

1) Are there any doula/midwifery schools nearby? Can you post a help-wanted for post-partum doulas on a community message board?

2) Technical colleges usually have childcare teacher training for preschoolers. Perhaps you can find a temp helper who also needs interaction with preschoolers.

3) You mention being involved in church. I'd be totally blunt and say to the congregation that you need such-and-such and when and you'll get help!

Good luck and I wish I could help more!

Jesse

[mom2amelia]

The neighbor and church posting sound like good ideas.

We are lucky enough to live about 8 blocks from my parents, and my brother and his family are about 2 miles away. I'm assuming that dd will go to my parents for the time when I'm at the hospital, though I could see if I'm there for 2 nights to have dh go home with her the second night, and maybe my mom could stay with me at the hospital if I need it? Haven't really worked out the details. November still seems so far away. Dh is a stay at home/artist, and I have 12 weeks leave, so he'll be around to help with everything- and then is in charge once I go back to work.

Good luck. I'm sure your church will be a great network of support, among the other suggestions.