How do you feel about women who MUST FF and a forum to support them? - Page 3

[Changed]

Originally Posted by lauraess

ya know i've been dealing with this issue here of supposed Mainstreaming of MDC and wondered What the real deal was. and now... let me just say in response to this question: ARE YOU FOR REAL???

I mean, come on. There is absolutely nothing natural about formula feeding and If a mama needs support for this i'm sure she can find it somewhere else easlily.
In no way Should this commune support formula feeding and it's Makers.
This would absolutely turn me away.
Laura

What is VERY natural about FF for some mothers is to do whatever it is that helps their child thrive. I posted this thread hoping to disprove the theory that mothers here cannot support each other in what they HAVE to do. I was so hoping people would post here supporting mothers who for whatever reason CAN NOT breastfeed their baby. This is a real issue and it's leaving alot of mothers here at MDC feeling rejected and left out. I also want to clarify that I am certanly not advocating a forum for women who CHOOSE not to breatfeed. Sometimes, there is no choice to be made. As mothers we do what we must and sometimes, such as the case for mothers who cannot breastfeed, we feel a huge loss and sadness that we could not give those things to our children that we know are the best for all other children. No one wants to mainstream MDC, that's not why we come here. Why should we have to leave this place to feel accepted? I'm going to change the title a bit and hope for the best. FWIW, we were thinking along the lines of breastfeeding loss or something to that affect.

[Laurel]

[QUOTE=USAmma]
On a parallel subject, in the birthing/pregnancy boards there is a c-section forum. I think a bottlefeeding forum might fall under the same category. /QUOTE]

Sorry, my mistake. I knew there was a thread, but I didn't realize there was a whole forum.

[pln]

Actually, Laurel, you are correct. There is no forum, there is only a
thread called Support & Recovery thread within the Birth & Beyond
board that has to be continually bumped up in order to be seen.

[Mrs Dimples]

I have to agree with the majority. I have not been able to nurse my son, I have pumped and bottlefed him his entire life. However, I do believe that devoting a forum to FF would undermine the message that MDC, and THIS forum in particular, is trying to put out that BF is NORMAL and should really be the only option, except in very rare extreme circumstances. Due to my personal situation, I definitely understand the feeling of not "belonging" in the BF forums, but I wouldn't change them. In FYT, there is a "low-supply" thread, and I would imagine there are or could be started threads for various other issues. Someone brought up a good point - my son, for example, is vaxed and circ'd, so I do not visit the vaxing and circ forums as I have made my decision regarding these matters. There is ample support for MY viewpoint elsewhere, I don't see any need to be represented here. KWIM? Not everything I have chosen in my life would qualify as "natural" or "alternative" and that's fine. The choices I have made that do fall into those categories are represented here.

[studentmidwife]

title for formula feeding forum

How about "When Breastfeeding Doesn't Work Out"? That title implies that breastfeeding is the best choice, but recognizes the fact that situations do exist when breastfeeding is not possible.

Ruthanna

[kamilla626]

Ruthanna I really like that title. Or something like "When ff is the only way"?

[SEEPAE]

There is a cloth diapering forum but no disposable diapering forum. There's a Case Against Circ forum but no pro circ forum. I think it's kind of along these lines as to why MDC might not be the place to have an entire forum dedicated to formula feeding.

Id have to say if you are going to make a Formula forum you HAVE to make a circumsicion forum and a disposable diaper forum, isnt it only fair?

I think that formula feeding moms get enough support from their doctors and family that they dont need a forum to get from. At least not here.

[HelloKitty]

Originally Posted by SEEPAE

Id have to say if you are going to make a Formula forum you HAVE to make a circumsicion forum and a disposable diaper forum, isnt it only fair?

I agree and this flies in the face of what MDC stands for, and that is the reason I am against the idea.

This is not to imply that I am against any women that must FF. Having been someone that FF her first two boys I can honestly say that I don't think there are any FF'ing issues that anyone should need a forum for... and they could get advice on just about any other baby board if a question did come up.

Us BFing mothers face a lot of issues: physical, emotional, political, etc. It's different.

Kitty

P.S. Edited to add that if such a forum was created I think the idea of "Breastfeeding Loss" or similar is a great one. I think putting the word "Formula" in the title would be a big turn off.

[shelbean91]

I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I don't really think it's necessary. I think most issues can be addressed in other forums and I think there was a place in Finding your Tribe for a while. I think most moms here who FF aren't doing it by choice or flippantly at all.

Also, if I'm not mistaken, the diapering forum is the 'diapering' forum, not the 'cloth diapering forum' and disposables can be discussed, it's just not.

[Sustainer]

Now that you have changed the title of this thread, I will say that for mothers who MUST ff, I believe there is a thread in Finding Your Tribe. I still don't think there should be a ff forum.

Even if such a forum were originally intended only for mothers who truly can't bf, it would end up filling up with women who simply choose to ff for any reason/excuse.

[Mom4tot]

Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural

There is a cloth diapering forum but no disposable diapering forum. There's a Case Against Circ forum but no pro circ forum. I think it's kind of along these lines as to why MDC might not be the place to have an entire forum dedicated to formula feeding. Also, a lot of the breastfeeding support is the challenges that go along with it at different ages and stages. There are many "how to" questions and legality questions, questions about foods and medicine and herbs being compatible w/bfing and "how do I cope" type questions. It involves supply, nipple problems, baby temperment and many other things, KWIM? I can't speak w/experience because I haven't ffed but as I understand there are not too many questions about how to formula feed. I can see what you're saying, that you'd like emotional support WRT ffing but I can't see an entire forum dedicated to that. I'm not meaning to offend. I'm trying to be honest. BFing mamas might be in the majority here but IRL we generally are not supported (as can be seen in probably 90% of the posts in the bf forums). So, MDC is the place where the alternative is the norm, KWIM?

*Have you asked the administrators if this issue has been brought up before? Sometimes they already have dealt with the issue and taken a stance on it. *

ITA. I think I remember seeing a moderator post something about this already... saying that such a forum would not be created. I am not sure what thread, sorry.

[HelloKitty]

Originally Posted by shelbean91

Also, if I'm not mistaken, the diapering forum is the 'diapering' forum, not the 'cloth diapering forum' and disposables can be discussed, it's just not.

As someone that frequents the diapering forum I think going there and discussing disposables would be akin to going to the circ board and talking about having your son circumsized.... while anyone could certainly do this it wouldn't go over to well

[guestmama9924]

Originally Posted by SBF

No, ff mothers can go practically anywhere for support. MDC is supposed to be for natural parenting.

I don't like the idea of excluding IRL and I don't. But this is a natural parenting board and I agree, there are MANY MANY boards for formula feeding . Likewise I don't really go to other ( mainstream) boards and wonder why there isn't a "breastfeeding your 3 1/2 year old before preschool" thread....
There are forums here that really don't apply to me ( anymore or at all) and I just enjoy posting in the forums that do. Hopefully mommies that ff can still enjoy posting in the forums that do apply to them.

[kimberlylibby]

I think this goes along the lines of having a c/s board.

We have a c/s thread. That's really all we need. A c/s board might put out the idea that we think c/s rock and everyone should just do it cause heck, it's easier than labor (it's not, btw, the recovery really sucks, and I had to labor 48 hours before it ANYWAY).

ANYWAY.... my point is that a Grieving the Loss of BF thread in the baby forum or FYT would be perfectly appropriate, but an entire forum lends the idea that MDC advocates the usage of FF.

Make sense? I don't think it means that MDC doesn't support those of us who have had to make difficult choices that go against NFL/AP... just that we don't think those choices need to be advocated FOR.... like I can receive support for my c/s and the loss of my dream of natural birth.... without MDC having to wave flags and tell everyone "C/S are awesome!" Instead, I can receive support for that situation and still acknowledge that natural birth is the BEST way to birth, and that MOST women can and should be encouraged to birth naturally.

Make sense?

[whateverdidiwants]

Originally Posted by CaliMommie

I've said it before- why should we have to go elsewhere for support?

In my experience on multiple boards in the past, once a site tries to be all things to all people it is inevitable that it will crash and burn. I think MamaAllNatural gave excellent examples on the previous page.

[applejuice]

Originally Posted by my~hearts~light

There is a suggestion in another thread for a new FF forum. Some seem to think it will be unaccepted by our community here for various reasons. I'd like to get it all out in the open without the back and forth. Please everyone post your honest thoughs on FF and FF mothers in special circumstances.

What exactly does that mean?

Aren't there mainstream forums for this discussion?

I know I was insulted many times IRL by mothers who bottle fed and told nursing was dirty.

I worked long and hard to be sure I have been surrounded by people who support me and my choices.

Why should this natural family discussion board tolerate bottle feeding.

I have had enough of insults in my life.

My answer is NO!

Enough is enough. There is a place for everything and IMHO MDC should not support bottle feeding. Let the formula companies open their own discussion boards/forums.

EDITTED TO ADD: that I did go on the "Case Against Circumcision" board when I first registered, and I got flamed hugely, even though I simply thought I was going to have a polite discussion about the matter. I quickly understood, without complaining to the moderators, that the "Case Against Circumcision" board was for the AP side of non-circing, and when I went to post my sincere search for information on circumcision though my DH, my family and my doctor and my midwife, and decided to circumcise my sons, I was roundly accused of mutilating them and ruining them deliberately for life.

I knew I was in the wrong place and politely bowed out. JMHO Thank you.

[EFmom]

I ff my kids, who were adopted past infancy. They would be dead without formula.

That said, there is so much hostility here toward people who ff, that I don't see the point in having a forum.

[shelbean91]

Originally Posted by kimberlylibby

I think this goes along the lines of having a c/s board.

We have a c/s thread. That's really all we need. A c/s board might put out the idea that we think c/s rock and everyone should just do it cause heck, it's easier than labor (it's not, btw, the recovery really sucks, and I had to labor 48 hours before it ANYWAY).

ANYWAY.... my point is that a Grieving the Loss of BF thread in the baby forum or FYT would be perfectly appropriate, but an entire forum lends the idea that MDC advocates the usage of FF.

Make sense? I don't think it means that MDC doesn't support those of us who have had to make difficult choices that go against NFL/AP... just that we don't think those choices need to be advocated FOR.... like I can receive support for my c/s and the loss of my dream of natural birth.... without MDC having to wave flags and tell everyone "C/S are awesome!" Instead, I can receive support for that situation and still acknowledge that natural birth is the BEST way to birth, and that MOST women can and should be encouraged to birth naturally.

Make sense?

I agree with this.

[hunnybumm]

I also agree I don't think we "need" a FF forum. I have NEVER seen a mother flamed for being unable to BF. I believe if a mother was flamed for that they she could easily speak with a mod and get it taken care of.

The "Life With A Babe" and the "Breastfeeding" forums are appropriate forums for mommas to post about their unability to BF and the problems they may be having with Formula. Those forums are definitly not to be compared to the "Diapering" and "Case Against Circumcision" forums. Those are hostile territories that should not be invaded. :LOL

That being said I think there is not a need for such a forum and that support can be found in may forums that are already in place. BUT if MDC does choose to have such a forum I like the idea of not calling it the formula forum but something like "Mourning the Loss of Breastfeeding" or "Inability to Breastfeed". Something along those lines would suggest that it wasn't a choice but a necisity and would then fit better into the MDC community.

[wendyk]

[QUOTE=studentmidwife]How about "When Breastfeeding Doesn't Work Out"? That title implies that breastfeeding is the best choice, but recognizes the fact that situations do exist when breastfeeding is not possible.

I think that's a great title. I am bfing my 15 month old, but when she was 4 weeks old, we both developed a NASTY yeast infection that would not clear until we actually stopped nursing-- I pumped milk and bottle fed her with the pumped milk for 3 weeks. It took 10 weeks of trying every treatment in the book to clear this infection. Sheer hell. Many times I couldn't keep up with her and had to supplement with formula. In the end it worked out for us to resume bfing and very much enjoy that continued relationship, but it was certainly very iffy if it was going to happen. I remember feeing so devastated at the possibility of not being able to bf and would've loved to have had a group to empathize and support if it had not worked out. AP isn't a set of rules-- it's a mindset of being in tune and responsive to your child's needs. Yes, there is a ton of research out there that shows that breastfeeding is best. I believe that there are situations -- health problems, physical limitations, etc., where it isn't best. I couldn't keep passing the yeast on to my baby. If it hadn't cleared, I would've stopped nursing because that's what would've been best. I see no problem with a ff forum in which the focus is on support for those that are unable to bf. I don't think it conveys a promotion of doing so any more than the forum entitled "Vaccinations" does so. There will always be people that will criticize those that chose to make different choices than they make. Understand it for what it is- their own issue- and continue providing and receiving support from those that have walked a mile in your shoes.